February 2009

[Honeylioness]

02 February 2009

My final numbers for January

23/25 NEO
23/20 NSD/CSD

I am actually rather shocked - I had given myself permission to buy lunch/dinners a LOT after I fell and hurt my wrist early in the month - but with the food I had in the house and not feeling like eating much anyways I see that I only bought TWO dinners during the time I wore my brace!!

And my goals for February

25 NEO
20 NSD/CSD

Now – I would appreciate any comments about the situation I will outline below. I am not sure I did the right thing or perhaps I did not handle it well. Any thoughts from an outside perspective are welcome.

Though it is only the 2nd, I already know that making my numbers this month is going to be a challenge. Yesterday afternoon my personal techno-geek (aka my BFF’s hubby) came over with a new hard drive for my home PC as it has not been acting right for a couple of weeks, my internet has been spotty and I thought the fan was sounding rather loud. Well, turns out that noise was NOT the fan motor, it was the sound of my hard drive committing suicide.

At around 3:30pm yesterday he came into the Living Room where his wife and I were visiting and announced the patient had died on the table – or in the case, the floor of my office.

We started to discuss what my options were for a new tower, and costs and timing, when I noticed that he and my friend were sending each other some serious eye signals. She turned to me and said “You know, we had been talking about what we could get you for your birthday and talked about buying you a brand new laptop.”

WHAT !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I must have looked like a fish flopping around on the pier after being yanked out of water. And then I started to cry. First, because it was so incredibly loving and generous of them. Secondly because this is my friend whom I have spoken of before that spends a lot of money on jewelry and I worry about her and her habits. And lastly because I felt ashamed.

Ashamed because there is no way at this time I could even consider how I would be able to really pay them back. Ashamed because I felt as though they viewed me as a charity case or pathetic because I don’t make as much as she does and she is younger than I am. We had a long discussion about this yesterday. We talked about money and income in specifics not just vague generalities. I told them that last year I made about $46K, but after taxes, insurance, and my 401(k) took home about $31,460. And from that I have to pay the mortgage, property taxes, feed myself, the cats, pay utilities, and take care of repairing anything that broke at home. And in Massachusetts this is no small feat. She told me that between them they grossed a little over $122K. They have no children, they rent and they feel fortunate that they are able to do things for those they care about.

In the end, I just could NOT feel right or comfortable accepting a “gift” worth $1,300-$1,500 dollars from them. It has been one thing for him to “build” me a Franken-Puter from parts and bits in his possession (it IS what he does for a living) – and quite another to just feel as though I took charity. Whether they mean it that way or not, that is how it would have felt to ME.

So we have left it at this: He is buying the computer for me today at his cost. Configuring it to what I need/use, upgrade the battery power and some other specs and come back this coming weekend with a brand new, 3 year warrantied laptop for me. HOWEVER – I will be reimbursing them $600 of the cost. This is money I have in savings. I am still not sure how I feel about them covering even half for me – but …… I need a computer for my Guild responsibilities as well as the Condo Board work I have committed to.

I just wish I did not feel so conflicted about it all. On the one hand I have the cash and will NOT need to use a credit card. I have filed my taxes and will be getting a refund to replace the outlay and set aside some more money into my EF. On the other hand, it still feels like a LOT of money to accept from a friend.

What would YOU have done?

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bonbon78

honeylioness, i honestly don't know what i would have done. what they did/are doing is very generous, and they would not offer if they didn't want to. i know you could not return a gift of that magnitude, but she's your bff. she knows that. it seems to me that they are two people who honestly care about you, and you them. what great friends to have. you're very lucky! (btw, i doubt they look at you as a 'charity case'-really! i know it's hard not to feel that way, or it's hard not to be self-consious, but their offer seems so genuine)

SES_Books

Honeylioness--Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and apprehensions and graciously say "Thank You". Accepting a gift is as important as giving at times. Let them enjoy the giving. Don't deny them that joy.

sapphire12

honey -- I've never been in your position, but .... I have been blessed to be in a position to help those in need. Need has relative points on the spectrum as nothing I have done was life/death, but rather an improvement in quality of life.

I have a BFF who has three kids by a not so good dad. And, that's being nice. As a single parent with three kids in a relatively high income area, it can be challenging to say the least. For Christmas, I give the kids gifts, not out of charity per se, but, it is because a. they want it; b. they will use it; c. I wil spend less money on me, if I'm buying for other people. I don't know your friends, but I don't think they view you as a charity case. They want to help you and know you will be appreciative of the gift they give you. Regardless of price, no one wants to give a gift that will not be used or wanted.

They know you really want HAWK home, but they can't give you that, so the computer is the next best thing. I'm sure if this is your BFF, she is well aware of your online family and friends and they don't want you to be away from us longer than necessary. If I were you, I would accept the computer as a genuine gift and NOT view it as an act of charity. You are a sweet, caring, deserving individual. They are giving you the computer at about half off, that is a good deal! Do you watch Deserving Design on HGTV? If not, the show is all about giving someone or someones something they want/need, but can't/won't do for themselves. Vern, the designer is just as overwhelmed as the recipients. Oh one more thing, I want a new laptop.

supersavercalistox

Honey- That is a tough one. I guess I would need to know about your relationship with BFF. I do a lot of stuff for my BFF helping her move, taking care of her kid, picking up stuff from the store, etc and I never ask for any type of compensation. And she does the same for me. Our relationship is one of taking care of each other whenever we need help. We are not ashamed to ask each other. So if she were to do this I would not be feeling guilty, just happy that she cared.

mrslynch

honey--i have a very difficult time accepting gifts, regardless of the value. i don't even like when a friend buys me a soda from wawa (best convenient store ever). i probably would have reacted very similar to you. but, please do not feel ashamed. ma is an expensive place to live, and you are doing the best that you can. your friends probably did not approach the situation with any sort of emotion except for "oh, honey is such a wonderful friend and with redhawk being gone, she is having a rough time. let's do something nice for her for her birthday". i think you did what was right for you to do, and knowing me, i probably would have done the exact same thing.

scrappinbj

honeylionnes- sounds like you have some awesome friends! and I'm sure they don't look at you like charity - they just want you to have what you deserve and I agree with them!

CPAinTrouble

Honey: I think you handled the whole thing really well, considering they put you on the spot in your home and totally took you by surprise!

I also think when someone is in a better financial situation then you and they are being generous enough to help you (even overly generous) i think you need to say thank you show them you appreciate it and make sure they know you don't plan on making this type of thing a habit and count your blessings. She is your best friend i doubt she even knows she is making you feel bad. Her and her husband probably went home and we so happy they could do this for you!

And you will be able to put the money back that your spending when you get your tax refund, so that is good too!

Good luck and CONGRATS!

Red2Black2011

Honeylioness: I concur with the other Ladies. Your BF sees giving you the laptop as something you genuinely need and would appreciate. Graciously accept because I know they are just happy they can do something for you.

Sheila in Cali

Honey: I have the same opinion of mrslynch. I hate getting gifts because I don't like for other people to spend money on me. My BFF and I are pretty open about of finances and she will let me spoil her DD but not her. I think setting a price with your friend for the computer still allowed them to do something nice for you and allowed you to remove any guilt you may have over the cost of their present. I am sure your friend wanted to do something nice and didn't view you as a charity case or anything like that. You have a good friend in her and her DH.

GLDNLUVLY

Honey-It is a gift and receive and enjoy it in the spirit in which it was given. I am pretty sure they don't see you as a charity case. They probably see you as the loving/giving woman that you are. It is obvious that you mean a lot to them. I am pretty sure that you have shared your talents with them during your friendship. You are blessed to have friends that would do this for you.

Sharing

Honey, No question about it. The gift as it stands right now is perfect. I've done a similar amount for a BFF to cover her little Pepsi's vet bills her final year. That and then some...I felt so good being able to do it. Promise me you won't feel proud, and won't feel shy about this. I agree with the other posters. I really like the compromise. It feels right. Go for it!

Ravin01

Honeylioness -Ditto to what everyone else said. They probably knew it was something that you REALLY wanted, REALLY needed and REALLY would use. I don't think your reaction was out of line and you came up with a compromise that fit the bill. Knowing that they were able to give you something that you could REALLY use just made them feel good and I am sure they don't think they intended to make you feel like a charity case.

Freemidwife

Honeylioness, There would be no miracles without angels. Be gracious and let them do it. Don't feel bad- think of it like this- they make $3 for every $1 you do, so the pain is proportionate. Also, they will have a LOT more left over after they do it. don't underestimate what you give them

reeneejune

Honeylioness – I think you did the honorable thing by not accepting it as an outright gift. If you still feel badly for accepting such a large gift from a friend, why not let her know that you don’t want any other presents for a year or two? That’s what my friends and I would do. And look at it this way, she’s giving you a practical present, not something frivolous. Had she given you something obviously expensive but not practical, I would have refused the gift. Another thing to think about, if the situation were reversed and you felt comfortable helping your friend out with a substantial gift, would you do it? Would you consider her a "charity case"?

nitza19

Honeylioness - please accept your friend's gift. I know that I would probably feel the same way that you do in your situation, but I have also been in the friend's place too. I paid my BFF's rent once ($900ish) because she had a terrible run-in with Murphy, and I know it was against everything in her to "accept" that much. (I put "accept" in quotes because I didn't really give her a choice in the matter, lol). But that was exactly what she needed, and she needed it in a huge way. I had the money, and it made me feel so good to be able to giver her something that she badly needed right when she badly needed it.

As hard as it is, put all the "charity"/"ashamed to take it" stuff aside. A) charity is not a bad thing and B) it's not charity anyway, it's a loving gift. If contributing the $600 will make you feel better about it, then go ahead. But trying to speak from the 'giver's' perspective, take it with a happy heart and know that someday later you will be just as generous for someone else who needs something specific that you are able to give.

teh mom

Honeylioness-the fact that you are reimbursing them the $600 is a great idea on your part. But accept the gift for what it is! Don’t take away their blessing by refusing. We are blessed when we bless others.

JennysMom

Honeylioness Sometimes it's difficult to accept a gift, but your friends were awesome in offering it. Let me tell you a story. When Grocery Boy was born, my late husband and I came home from the hospital, I was breastfeeding our new little blue-eyed wonder and my DH went out to the mailbox to get the mail from the last couple days. Grocery Boy fell asleep so I gave him to my hubby and started looking at the mail. Yeah, there were bills, but there also was this thick envelope. I opened it up to discover a handmade card which said Welcome to the World...We're happy you're here! Inside was more money then I could believe--all in cash! And the card wasn't signed. Try as I might, I never could find out who sent it! So I vowed right then and there to Pay It Forward sometime in the future when we were able.

Well, life was life and both Grocery Boy and Jenny grew up. But I did pay it forward and it felt wonderful. It took 20 years before I was able to do it. My husband died of cancer four years ago and I was able to give money to another family whose dad was battling cancer and then I also gave money to a single mom who needed some help. And there were other smaller acts of kindness too. Yes, it took years for me to be able to do it, but I felt wonderful to be there for people who truly needed it. It worked out perfect.

So my 2 cents is accept the gift from your dear friends and then in the future--when it's possible--pay it forward to someone else.

dsygrl926

Honey~ knowing the amazing people on this board, I am sure by know you will have a zillion brilliant comments, but my two cents. . . if she truly is a dear friend, it may make her feel wonderful to be able to do this for you. If they are financially OK, this gift from them may be a simple as a $20 gift from someone else. I think you should take it and thank them. A heartfelt thanks may mean more to them then you paying them back.

[Honeylioness]

04 February 2009

Sheila – You don’t like FlutterNutter www.marshmallowfluff.com/pages/fluffernutter.html

In this part of the country, especially considering Fluff was created here in Massachusetts, not liking Fluffernutters is practically sacrilegious!!!! Hmmm… Served with Lipton chicken noodle soup. I may have to have this for dinner tonight.

I had to smile about you and Rutherford. I am the great-great-great-great-niece of President James Buchanan. The first President to have a parent who was an immigrant to this county (Obama is only the second). The only President to never marry, his niece Harriet Lane served as his hostess.

The Dred-Scott decision was made shortly after he took office. He helped open trading relationships with the Orient, however he stuck his head in the sand regarding Southern trade and the issue of slavery and managed to leave office before it exploded – thereby dumping the issue into Lincoln’s lap. A few years ago I was able to visit his family home, Wheatland, in Pennsylvania which was a lovely house.

Nitza – Congrats on taking the first steps in investing. Someday I hope to have a basic enough understanding of what I should be doing so I can do the same.

MrsBradford – what is this “cake in a mug” you mentioned, and how do I get a recipe for such a thing? It sounds like something that would work well for those like me who either live alone or with just other person. Sometimes I just get a craving but don’t want an entire cake in the house staring at me!

SES – I can sympathize with your frustration about your kitchen as I went through something similar two years ago. Although in my case I pulled a MrsLynch and set fire to it. Not on purpose of course. But I learned that if you are home with an intestinal bug it is NOT a good idea to put something on the stove to heat then leave the burner on when you have to run into the bathroom. Thank God I had a fire extinguisher in the kitchen. That and calling 9-1-1 before I did anything else saved my entire townhouse from going up the nice boys with the red trucks told me.

Due to the damage (melted the stove, vent hood, curled the laminate counter tops, cabinets ripped off a wall etc…) and the fact the cabinets were 16 years old and there was no way to get any replacements. Then entire kitchen had to be gutted and re-done. The fire was in May and I did not get the last of the work finished until two days before Thanksgiving!

MittenKitten – Thanks for putting up with, and keeping track of, this rambunctious group! While some may equate keeping up with us to “herding cats” I prefer the phrase “Like trying to nail jell-o to the wall” And yet – you do a GREAT job!

p.s. – Have you any idea the strange looks you get from co-workers because you are all chipper and happy just because you saw the cake icon next to your name? Not even a REAL cake, just a little image and I am ready to do the happy-happy-joy-joy-I’m-too-frugal-for my-wallet dance. For those new to the boards, I despaired for months of ever being “aware” enough to make 10 NSD/CSD days – 20 to me seemed as far away as the moon. – wait…is that?…do I actually see Neil Armstrong bounding towards me???

r2b2--you don't actually have to go to a game. I promise. You were at game 6 of the `86 world series. That's enough for a lifetime.

Mrslynch – Oh My – you mentioned one of the saddest days of my life. October 25, 1986 *sniffle sniffle* … My poor boys were poised to take it all at the end of the Seventh. And contrary to popular opinion the final score was NOT all Buckner’s fault. Granted, McNamara should never have had Bill in that critical position with his ongoing ankle issues, but he REALLY should not have changed up the pitching rotation like he did – and saving Stanley for late in the game with his history of not handling pressure well and wide throws was just dumb.

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MittenKitten
Every week we do an Question of the Week (QOTW) and a Challenge so here they are:
Question of the Week (QOTW): Thank you Red2Black2011. With the current credit card crisis looming what MUST you use your credit card for? Could you go for a week with absolutely NO credit cards?
Challenge of the Week (COTW): Do not use your credit cards for one week, not even once. And/Or (Submitted by MK): Check your credit report and get it cleaned of any errors. I believe they say 3 of 4 credit reports has errors on it. I know I am long overdue for this one!

QOTW: DONE!!! I actually have not used my one little credit card in over four months. My bank card can function like a credit card, but it still comes directly from my checking account. If the challenge was to not use my debit card for a week – that would be tough as I find it more convenient for gasoline and to track my visits to the grocery store than cash.

COTW: Again – DONE! Heeeee Heeeee ….. who knew I would one day actually be AHEAD of the curve?? I checked all three of my reports at the end of December and fortunately did not find anything erroneous listed – Phew!

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CPAinTrouble

Honey: I see we shouldn't talk baseball

Freemidwife

MrsLynch, As a Mets fan, one fo the happiest days of my life- my ex-DH was moaning about how it was "all over" and I was arguing that it "ain't over til the fat lady sings".... and then it happened!

Perspective is everything. We lost in '73....

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CPAinTrouble – No Worries. We can talk baseball – just as long as you accept that my BOYS are the only TRUE team left, and the best of course!!!

The California Octuplets. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr​rrrr. Other’s have basically said most of what I was thinking but with more tact than I could use on this issue. The Times is reporting that this “woman” said she wants a television show as a “Parenting Expert” I just wanted to be sick. From what I have read from various sources, and the general odd vibes I get when I have seen those close to her who speak to the media – there is a real deeper emotional / spiritual / mental issue at stake here I believe. There are now reports that the Department of Health is CA is going to have a LONG talk with the fertility doctor who not only let this woman use public money for fertility treatments. One doctor was quoted as saying something along the lines of: “When a woman already has six children, most physicians in good conscience would not consider that she has a fertility issue, nor should taxpayers have had to pay the price for her treatments”

Another mentioned that the fact she was implanted with so many seems to be a violation of the regulations governing in vitro procedures. She has described herself as a “professional student” and does not work. There also does not seem to be a consistent male figure in the children's lives outside of their grand father. Not that a single parent cannot be a good parent, but with so many I feel it is important that the mother has a real partner to help her and the children.

Ultimately my heart goes out most to all of her children. Past experience shows that these children are prone to greater risk of infections and long-term health issues. She may think that if she actually gets $2M from anyone as a fee for an exclusive interview that she will be set for life financially, but I cannot help but think she may not have the life/coping skills to use that money wisely – and it will be gone before the end of the year, and she will have “forgotten” to pay taxes on it. If any organization is desperate enough to pay this woman, I would hope the funds would not be paid to her in cash, but placed into a trust account for the babies.

And now – a little humor for your mid-week entertainment

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life? '

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her .

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.'

[Honeylioness]

04 February 2009


Posted by Sharing the Simple Life

A wonderful story!

KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road.

Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn't possible.
He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn't afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly, she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday.

That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take the kids with us."

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought. Then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome. Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why the kids can't come with us?"

Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities - just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary - - - he had a different mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children.

Since then they have added two more kids.

So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl?

Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl.

Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was
not an ordinary person.

It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NFL's Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY:

Today at church our minister mentioned that when Kurt, his wife and 7 children go out to eat he has one of his children pick out a family eating at the restaurant. Kurt then tells the wait staff he is picking up the tab for that family's dinner anonymously. He remembers the days he was working nights in the grocery store and feeding his family on food stamps.

[Honeylioness]

05 February 2009


IOUnomore – YEAHHHH … another true Baseball Fan! I too would like to attend a game this year, just haven’t decided yet if I actually NEED both kidneys.

Moneysqurrel – I did not know about your husband. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you. I find it borderline intolerable at times, especially at night, even though my darling is merely on another continent. Though at times I do fear he will not make it home. And I can relate to your reserve. For while I can “front” well enough it usually takes someone with real observation skills to realize I rarely share anything substantive about my inner self, especially in person when I am with those I do not know

Sharing – I’m glad you had a good time at the Guild meeting. I agree that with the distance and population the group is drawing from you are less likely to run into a lot of prima donnas, though I am sure there is at least two ultra strong personalities who most likely butt heads over leadership and course.

"Honey, The Quilt Guild loved your card quilt! It was passed along the table to be ooo'd and awe'd over and many questions about it came about how a lady from Lowell, MA sent a treasure like that to northeastern Ontario."

*blushing furiously* - ah geez …. I am glad they liked it. Once you have gotten to know the group a bit better, and if you think they would be interested, I would be happy to e-mail you the instruction sheets. I did a workshop at my Guild a few months ago and handed out these sheets for those who wanted to make one for themselves.

MamaLin – WELCOME!! Whooo Hoooo – another local gal for Me!! I am in Lowell but am sure we are both SO enjoying the balmy weather around here this week – NOT!!!

SES – Take a deep breath. As someone else noted – stress, shock and scare tactics sell advertising. Just one of the reasons I also limit my exposure to commercial news sources. The last six months or so I made the choice to catch specific news or issue shows on PBS primarily. I feel I get a balanced debate without feeling as though the commentator or network is trying to push me towards one side or the other of an issue.

The other thing to keep in mind, and this has helped me a lot, is that – while it may seem trite – There is nothing new under the sun. (Ecc 1:9). There have always been wars, and rumors of wars. Countries/principalities that were corrupt and/or in fiscal trouble. Those who worried about nature, their world and their place in it as opposed to those who felt entitled to use up any and all resources around. And I am sure that during the plague there were women who were absolutely terrified about becoming pregnant or giving birth when all around them was death and despair with no relief anywhere in sight.

Every generation faced challenges which I am sure they believed signaled the end of the world, either overall or just as they knew it. Some were correct (i.e. Saxon/Celtic culture after the Norman invasion, the Catholic church dealing with Luther, 1816 – The year without a Summer, the Civil War, the influenza pandemic of 1918). And some could not see that the struggle and hard times happened to serve a larger or greater purpose - which we usually can see only in hindsight (i.e. the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, the Crash of 1929, WWII)

I am sure that even in say 1352 there was a talking head living under the protection of some feudal lord who was warning that the new style of dress for girls and allowing merchants into the estate from the Far East would create nothing but social unrest and anarchy.

When the anxiety starts to build what I have found works for me is to close my eyes, take a deep breath and visualize what/where I will be in five years from now, or where we might be as a society. This visualization need not be entirely based in facts – it is more like an exercising is seeing what for you is the best possible situation and using it as a touchstone for your own goals. I see myself with a baby of my own and a partner who adores me. I see a more than comfortable savings account, still no debt, a safe home and a reliable cost-efficient vehicle. I visualize a society that places more value on people than things. One where we have learned that the Earth is a precious resource we are granted temporary custody of and that when we care for Her and use Her bounty wisely and with restraint then we are rewarded with crystal water, clean air and bountiful harvests.

SES_Books

Honey--next time I even get chose to an abyss, I want you there to pull me back! Thanks.



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I was talking to my brother last night and he was telling me the following about his two daughters. I just thought it was such a cute example of the Ant and the Grasshopper that I wanted to share it with you.

I have two nieces. Taylor who will be 10 next month, and Nicole who just turned 8. While they are very similar in many ways such as looks, brains and artistic talent it seems they have very different approaches to money.

Taylor it seems cannot spend it fast enough. As my brother put it “It runs through her fingers FASTER than water”. While Nicole is a “hoarder” (my brother’s word, not mine). Each of them gets a small allowance each week, and at Christmas also each received about $100 cash from various distant relatives. Recently at their school they had a type of Flea Market fund raiser. Taylor took her last $25 and calculated how many things she could buy to maximize her cash – and spent it all. Nicole on the other hand took $25 with her, came home, and placed $22 back into her “bank”. Because as she said to her dad “There wasn’t anything there I really felt was worth spending more money on”

And she is just EIGHT!!!

Michael told me that he asked his younger daughter just how much she had saved. She carefully and deliberately opened her little decorated box where she keeps her money and counted it all out. $178. My brother was very impressed and told her that it was indeed her money and if she wanted to save it or spend it he trusted her to do what she felt was right. Meanwhile Taylor will often complain that she has no money for a soda or whatever. They point out to her that she and Nicole both get an allowance and that perhaps she needs to learn how to better manage it.

It seems that Taylor once even asked her younger sister for a loan, after looking at her sister for a long moment with a raised eyebrow the then 7-yo said “Only if Mom and Dad agree to pay me back first from your next allowance before you can get to a store”

I swear – I just about wet myself laughing when he told me this story. I don’t know what to feel first: uber-proud of Nikki – worried for Taylor – or just amused at the precociousness of those girls.


startsmart

Honey- I think your nieces are my brother and I almost exactly. Do warn the Dad that if older daughter gets into trouble or desperate she might raid that pretty box of younger daughter's cash. that's what my brother did to me and bought... wait for it... an umbrella. in the summer. despite owning several. stupidity knows no bounds.

anywho, if DNiece can get signed onto a local credit union with a savings account she can get all the benefits of interest with her savings and learn to plan even more (must go to the bank and withdraw money). I'm 24 and have been with the same credit union for 13 years. Got a fantastic rate on my car loan and great service.

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Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

Honey, We would truly love the instructions. The block of the month was given as a handout, and I see that the regulars have binders, so this seems to be what the group collects. I see I made a completely off-the-wall grammar error in that highlighted text. Embarrassed Isn't that something about your two nieces! How interesting! Gosh, I'll bet we could write the script twenty years hence...the youngest with all her ducks in order and the oldest wondering why on earth she's struggling. Hope not, but wow, that's some pattern developing.

[Honeylioness]

06 February 2009


Well, either today or tomorrow will turn out not to be a NS day. I have very little room to complain though, and I am a bit surprised to find that in many ways I really do not mind.

Yesterday as I was driving to work my old truck started making some not-so-nice noises which just about sent me into a panic attack. I managed to make it home that night and at first did not hear the racket - until about halfway back when it started again. So I called my mechanic and described the noise. We think it is most likely the ball joints in the left back wheel, but that means the rods should be replaced also at about $125 a piece, plus his time. (If this is the problem I see no reason to just do one - I will have him replace both back joints as long as he is under there)

So - I could possibly be looking at a $400-$500 repair bill on a 1992 Ford Ranger. Even as I type this I am a bit amazed that I have not already ramped myself up into a nervous frenzy. And a year ago I would have. But in the past year this board, and especially the women (and men) here have helped me re-define not only the "value" of money but my relationship with it. Money is not what defines me, it is merely a tool that lets me have a standard of living and quality of life that more than 50% of the world's people can only dream of.

Yes, I could, and in the past I have, spent precious time and emotional energy worrying about whether the cost/benefit ratio of spending this money is worth it. Where will it come from? What if I make a bad decision in spending it? Not to say that I do not still weigh the pros and cons of big purchases. But today's situation is different.

Yes, it is a 17 yo truck and of course at 184K miles things will start to wear out. And yes, $400 relative to the blue book value may seem rather high to some. However, the truck is paid for, cheap to insure, the excise tax is nothing, I can go approximately 4 weeks in between filling the tank, I have the cash in my savings account to pay for it and not have to put it on a CC, and I have filed my income tax return and should be getting $2,600 in about a week.

Most importantly, I am not letting panic or fear push me into buying a newer vehicle with higher maintenance/operating costs. Especially as I KNOW my true financial situation as to what comes in and what has to go out, and I cannot right now work a car payment into that equation. So I have decided it is better to spend this money now and buy myself another year, or more, of saving in order to research and choose a vehicle that I can pay cash for when this one finally decides to "retire". Which actually may be another 20K-30K-40K miles as this model with the proper maintenance (which I do religiously) routinely keeps running well past the 200K mile mark.

So THANK YOU my friends - both established and new. For your support, your willingness to listen and offer opinions, for giving me a sense of accountability which in turn has let me develop a feeling of personal empowerment and for accepting me, and all who come here, with open arms and hearts and minds.

[Honeylioness]

08 February 2009

Muttley - congratulations on the house. What a great milestone to start the year with.

Red Ruby - that would have more than annoyed me as well. I am just still in awe of people who can really be that oblivious and with such scr*wed up priorities. Not to mention that our taxes go to support such ridiculous behavior.

nitza - I'm sorry but I just cracked up reading about you trying to do yourself in on the doorknob! You asked Who does stuff like that? ...*raising my hand* ... umm... well....ME. I once tore a ligament in my ankle fallin UP a flight of stairs. I got my hand stuck in a glass I was washing and after 20 minutes of trying everything I could think of to get my hand out of said glass .. I finally had to break the glass to free my hand. So I feel your pain *grins* You and I will probably need the special padded suit tour in Vegas so the other ladies don't have to spend their time driving up to the ER

Sisters-3 - Welcome. I am not sure if you had your question about the no spending answered already, but here is my viewpoint.

For me a No Spend day is one in which I spend nothing OUTSIDE of my budget. If on Sunday I pay the mortgage, light bill, cable, heat and insurance - it is a NS day as these are all budgeted items and necessities.

If Tuesday I have to run to the store for milk ($2.50), that is not a spend day because I have $45 per week allocated for groceries. Now, if I go on Friday to do some weekly shopping and spend $50 then, having already spent a portion of my weekly allotment on Tuesday, then I count Friday as a spend day since I went over my weekly budget. That used to happen with me consistently until I re-worked the numbers and realized my budget was ridiculously low and unrealistic for my area. I hope that makes sense.

bonbon - Here is my suggestion for how to help out your neighbor, this is prefaced with the caveat that I am a very hands-on practical type of gal. In the past when I have had friends/neighbors/church members who are going through a sudden loss my mind turns not to just food - but nitty gritty kind of stuff. Offer to come to their house the day before the funeral/wake and clean for them. Scrub bathrooms, wash floors etc. Traditionally people congregate at someone's home after a service and the last thing a greiving person wants to do is polish furniture. Check in with the person/family about a month afterwards. Offer to help organize condolence cards, mail, help with sending copies of the death certificate to CC accounts, pension accounts etc. Often this is just feels like an overwhelming task for the family and some outside help can be welcome - the flip side is that some people will get defensive, just smile and let it go.

A lot of it does depend on how well you know the person, but if my neighbor's husband died this winter I would probably go over and shovel her walks for her this year, as he would not be around to do it. nitza is right that many people show up in the first week or so, but then many forget there are ongoing ways to support the family a month down the road when the numbness wears off.

reeneejune - While I was a bookkeeper in a former life I am not sure that "ancient" know how would help you much. However, as I now work in HR I do have a bit of experience in dealing with Contractors - which is what it sounds like you will this year (aka self-employed). The most important things to do, in my view, is set up a separate account or tracking to accumulate your estimated tax liabilities both state and federal - and to file your estimated taxes each quarter. Especially with the Feds you can get into trouble for not doing this. Her is the link to the IRS webpage that will have the forms you will need as well as information on how to figure out how much to set aside from each paycheck you get.

Don't forget to check out your state's web site as well especially if your state charges income tax.

www.irs.gov/businesses/small/selfemployed/index.html

Have I mentioned lately that I adore you ladies and gent. This is the only place I can discuss financial issues, personal and national, and not be treated like I farted in church.

SES - WHAT??? What's wrong with that? We all have bodily functions and cannot always control them, I mean really would you think less of the President if he belched? Or the Vice-President to sneezing or .....

HE HE Your comment just made me giggle and I had to go a little postal in response just for laughs. I feel the same way though and know you were correct in an earlier post when you said that those here are way ahead of the curve in managing with less and being realistic about money and it's purpose.

R2B2 - Loved your random act of kindness for that teacher you met. I will confess, I have done similar things but usually anonymously. I once was in line in front of an elderly woman who was shifting and re-counting the small amounts of items in her cart (carrots, apples, milk etc) and I somehow knew she did not have enough cash to purchase these items and was trying to decide what she would put back. So after paying for my groceries I slipped the cashier $30 for her food and told her to make sure the elderly lady got back any change as well. Then I walked out. I did learn the next week that the elderly lady burst into tears when her items were run up and the cashier turned to her and handed her $7 in "change" telling her "the woman in front of you paid for your groceries already".

*****************

My_Gal

OMG - Honey - I'm in tears now, literally ROFLMAOOpen-mouthed I too, am very capable of tripping, falling or hitting my head on anything, and nothing. I've fallen up stairs more times than I can count. But what really got me, was getting your hand stuck in the glass. I had a close call once but thankfully managed to save my hand AND the glass!

[Honeylioness]

08 February 2009


Hello all ........... I'm BBAACCCKKKKKKKK

Okay, okay - it's not as though I had as long a no-computer sabbatical as calsfan, but honestly, even the short time I was without a computer felt really really weird. And not the nice kind of weird you feel when you find a $20 in your coat and cannot remember just how that got there. But the WEIRD kind of weird that comes from realizing just how much time you actually spend on line even though in your prior self delusion you were telling yourself it was only and hour a day.

But here I am, sitting on my sofa no less and trying to get the hang of using this new laptop. I miss my mouse. the little red dot thingy is a pain, and apparently my touch is not as light as I thought since when I use the pad I overshoot the goal and wind up opening things I have no idea what they even are!!

A huge KUDOS to my friends R & T, especially T who walked me through the system, the equipment, how to open up the equipment for care and cleaning, the peripherals and setting up my firewalls from the neighbors. (And for showing me which of my neighbors has no clue and their networks were wide open and prime for piggy backing if I ever wanted to turn to a life of crime and hacking! )

And now an update on my truck - though a part of me is almost too embarrassed to even tell you about this. I talked to my mechanic who told me to bring the truck by on Saturday and we would go for a drive so he could hear the noise for himself, the plan was then for me to leave the truck with him and walk home - then take a taxi to work on Monady.

So over I went yesterday and we took my baby out for a test drive. Now, as it always seems to go, I had not heard the horrendous noise of Thursday for two days. Sort of like your tooth suddenly feeling all better when you get to the dentist's office. After about 20 minutes there had a been only one small noise and nothing else, so we returned to his garage and he gave me a grin and said "I think I know what happened - let me show you" So there we are in his driveway crouching in the snow looking at the bottom of my truck chasis. It seems that because this winter has been so bad, so much snow and slush and ice - periods of semi-melting then refreezing - that clumps of frozen slush had been kicked up onto the drive shaft and in the wheel wells then froze there over night. I could see where there were still clumps of this icy gunk clinging to parts of the under carriage. The mechanic said that he thought what happened was that as I was driving the mechanics loosened pieces of this stuff and it was rubbing against the wheels, or being bounced around along the drive shaft before being flung off. As was the frozen slush in the wheel wells rubbing against the tires as it shifted.

On one hand I was incredibly relieved that my truck was not self destructing. On the other hand I felt a bit embarrassed that I had got all concerned for nothing, and told my mechanic that I was thankful for his taking a look and sorry for bothering him with something so silly. I then offered to pay him for his time. He just laughed and shook his head and refused the money saying he was glad to be of assistance and would not charge me for just looking at the truck.

Have a said lately how much I LOVE my mechanic??

[Honeylioness]

09 February 2009


Here are my numbers to date:

07/25 NEO
07/20 NSD/CSD

My-Gal – I would be happy to send more business my mechanic’s way. But unless you are within a 20 mile radius of Lowell I am not sure he is willing to travel

Angel33 – Your DH sounds a bit like my darling Redhawk. Instead of taking the time we were able to get on the phone recently to discuss a matter that has been hanging over both of us for too long, he went on and on and on about this puppy he has sort of “adopted” and how can we smuggle it back stateside to me to look after for him. And I was saying” Whoa fella – this “puppy” is already 60 pounds at 6 months and both parents are working military dogs??? Hellooooooo – I have three cats and no yard and a job – who do you think is going to house/feed/walk this critter?”

Men. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t send ‘em back for an upgrade. At least mine knows better than to throw anything away without checking with me first. He learned THAT lesson the hard way.

I was going to send you some tips that worked when I was your son’s age – but I see you already are back from the Doc’s already. I hope the Boy feels better soon.

Sharing – I am hearing rumors that the Marketing Department has a box of give-away logo’ed optic mice they might be willing to unload. Must do ReConn.

Reneejune – thank you for sharing that newspaper story. Especially now we need more reminders that most people are basically good and decent and will do the right thing.

Startsmart – having been through two vehicle accidents myself I can sympathize with your pain and frustration. I am not sure if you have looked into this, but when you get some of the settlement money perhaps your chiropractor can recommend an acupuncturist. Now, I am the LAST person on earth who normally advocates getting anywhere NEAR a needle I don’t plan on quilting with – but myself and another family member both had remarkably good results with pain management after seeing one for a while. Just a suggestion.

As to your sending things to the folks overseas … YEAH for YOU!!!!!!! As someone who has been sending care kits to Hawk’s unit when I can there are some things that troops outside of the Green Zone need and request more than those on base: Immodium AD, Baby wet wipes (as there is no access to extra water they use these for personal hygiene), tampons (yes, for guys also – they use them to clean out their rifles), seasonings (hot sauce, garlic salt, pepper, ginger – anything to give flavor to the rather bland MREs), moleskin or Dr Scholl’s products and Neosporin.

*****************************

Sharing

Honey, LOL about the "not getting close to a needle I wouldn't quilt with!"

[Honeylioness]

09 February 2009


I have managed so far to not chime in with my two cent’s worth about this whole “stimulus” mess – but I may have reached my snapping point this weekend after hearing more than one comment that made me want to ask the person speaking “And just where are you getting your drugs these days?”

I too am of the opinion that for many people who have yet to remove their heads from either the sand or their rear eliminatory orifice that subjecting them to more “reality” and real hardship would not be such a bad thing. On the other hand there are true and urgent needs that should be addressed. Extended unemployment benefits, food and medical aid and practical recourse for homeowners who are in trouble not because they were greedy or delusional enough to think they could afford, or they deserved, 3x-4x more home than they could afford. For those who are behind in their mortgage due to lack of work, excessive medical bills etc – Why CAN’T the banks interrupt their scotch-swilling, Lear jet hopping Casino weekends and present a workable plan to ensure they are not suddenly left holding thousands and thousands of abandoned properties instead of waiting for the federal government to do it? I think it shows a lack of personal, or corporate, responsibility in admitting they let their hubris and greed get them into this mess in the first place. And if they sit and do nothing they can then whine and pout and point fingers at the Feds for being the big bad meany “big brother”.

I have been rather disgusted in listening to some of the shows this weekend that almost NO-ONE has mentioned the elephant in the living room. And that is just WHERE is all this money going to come from? The “experts” seem eager enough to get on television to spout off about what MUST be done, and it must be done NOW, and throw around figures in the BILLIONS. But just where are we getting this money? Why will no one be honest and point out that if the Treasury just runs the presses faster and prints off all this cash we have done nothing more than further de-value our currency and pushed inflation higher. And how does THAT help anyone? And don’t even get me started on the “pork” this thing has. How DARE they? If they think that squeezing in some money for their own pet project is okay – well then I guess it is not really a crisis after all to pass this turkey.

I also am very uncomfortable with how this is being pushed at us and Congress. Okay, so Obama said he wanted this signed and done by President’s Day, February 16th. What will happen if that date passes? Will the earth stop spinning? We did not get into this mess in a few months people – does anyone else think it is unrealistic that we can get out of it with just the wave of a magic pen? It’s like the woman who eats nothing but junk food and gains 50 pounds deciding a month before her wedding she is going to drop 40 pounds before the big day. Give me a break.

ARE there any adults in the government who are willing to publicly say “Hold on there bucko. Let’s take another month and really look at all the options and scenarios instead of doing yet another knee-jerk reaction spending package that will A) most likely not do what you think it will, or B) will only be a few month stop gap measure.”

I also don’t really understand the reasoning behind some who say that the car companies “cannot be allowed” to go into a structured re-settlement bankruptcy. Why not? Afraid they might actually have to learn something and realize they are not getting their 1.2 M bonus this year for sitting on their backsides and doing nothing? If you run your company into a ditch because you do not want to try something new or choose to ignore what the customer wants – then why shouldn’t you have to pay the consequence?

Which brings up the folks on Wall Street and the Investment Banks – talk about the inmates running the asylum!!! I don’t for one moment buy the argument I heard this weekend that we “HAVE” to give them their bonuses because after all they chose this line of work to make a lot of money and if they don’t then they will leave those companies etc, etc, etc. So what?? Out here in Reality Land we either are never eligible for so much as a bonus donut, OR, and this will be truly shocking I know – you have to actually MEET your company/division/ department goals before you are eligible for a bonus.

I don’t want another “stimulus check” since like most people I know I would not use it to go buy a new TV, “toy” or cell phone. It would go directly into one of my savings accounts. Or for a lot of people they would pay their rent, light bill or blow it on something non-essential like food.

Yes I understand that many families really are in danger of losing it all. But I agree with the comment SES made that if this package gets rammed down our throats and the “worse” seems to be over that too many people will have learned nothing and just return to their hedonist, spend thrift ways. And like a spoiled kid who blows through their monthly allowance in five days corporate America will be back in less then a year with their hand out again hoping “Uncle” has found a money tree and has more free cash to dole out.

The Depression of the 1930's was not solved overnight with a magic wand waved over the country by Roosevelt. It was slow and painful and involved everyone - not just those hanging on at the end of the social spectrum.

And what too many people seem to have forgotten is that in the end it was not really any of the government programs or Senate resolutions that finally pushed this country into a period of incredible prosperity - it was WWII and the associated industries that ramped up, or were created, because of it.

Okay - off my soap box for the moment. We now return you to your regularly scheduled reading.

=======================

MuttleynFelix

Honey - Amen Sister. I am so fed up with this we have to do it NOW. How about we worry about getting it right instead of right now? I feel that was the biggest failure of the bailouts this past fall. Everything had to be done right then or the world was going to end. How about we think things through and do them right?

SES_Books

Honey, Muttley--some voices of reason!!! Honey you are so eloquent. Do you think we could elect you to serve as "The Conscience of Congress"? Right now the "heads" are talking of more leverage. Isn't that what got us here in the first place? I'm starting to think EVERYONE is going to have to DEleverage. Sure some are going to be wiped out in the process, but many of those products were just a shady form of gambling, IMHO, why should "We The People" be the safety net for those who chose to take the risk? I want clarity and I want it in terms a fifth grader could understand. I have no problem being the safety net for those at risk; children, elderly, unemployed, those medically blindsided, and people with "real mortgage problems" (not all of the over the moon unrealistic mortgages). I also want the CC companies not allowed to think they are the victims and pass on all the misery to their customers. They are the ones who "chose" the customers they now have. Honey maybe you can get Sharing to be your Admin Asst when you take on Congress , she had some pretty good ideas in post #862. I'll be glad to proofread anything for you--my comprehension is pretty close to a fifth graders.

Sharing

Honey, That was a very good soapbox. I agree with you, Muttley, sapphire, etc. I'd rather get it right and take the time to fine tune the fine points

reeneejune

Economic Stimulus- I just have one thing to add to Honey's rant. It's my understanding that the basis for repayment of these huge loans the government is taking out assumes a growth in the US economy of something like 4% a year. Funny thing, when I applied for a car loan, they looked at my CURRENT income and the likelyhood of that income continuing. They wouldn't base a loan on the possibility that I MIGHT get a raise and continue to get raises for the next few years. Why can the government get loans based on what MIGHT happen? Why are they not accountable to their CURRENT income just like everyone else?

Sharing

reneejune, Very good point you made under "economic stimulus." You're so right. We're unlikely to see our personal worth, wages, etc. increase four percent. We can't risk poor models upon which to base our estimates of growth and stimulus spending.

MuttleyNFelix

SES - We need more engineers in congress and fewer lawyers in my opinion. But a lot of engineers hate BS and dislike being out in public so they won't run for office (like myself, I would piss everyone off in heart beat). I love working for my current boss because he tells potential clients all possibilities and will tell them if something won't work. We've lost some work because of that, but in the end we have happy clients because they know up front the possible problems.

nitza

Re: stimulus: I just don't want to think about it. or read about it. Or talk about it. Maybe hit some congressmen about it. Maybe have Sharing or someone else who is not IN congress write it. I wholly believe that whether they do it RIGHT NOW or a month from now or a year from now it will not be rationally thought-out, pork-free, accountable spending which will create a wealth of infrastructure/green-related jobs and stimulate the economy. I think it will be full of stupidity, blocked by party-biased arguing, without accountability as is nearly all of government spending, and largely ineffective. We are not going to get an effective stimulus by pleasing everyone. In fact, the most effective 'stimulus' would not be PLEASANT at all. But it's what we need I want something to happen because I am just sick of hearing about it. Honestly I think the economy would get a boost if all the naysayers on the TV would just STFU for awhile. A lot of spending (among those who have the money to do it) is controlled by emotion, and not necessarily reality. Even if things do GET better, if people are still all FEELING paranoid and pessimistic they will not spend. That's my thoughts on it anyway.

Also, sorry if I sounded like a major grouch in my earlier post about the stimulus. I am just so sick of all the talking. It's like no matter what a bill is about, or what situation occurs, there's all this... *flaps fingers together* and sniping and I get really sick of it. The media is like a bunch of whining teenagers (and they portray everyone in the government that way too - although I am sure there are some people who are not!). Makes me wish I could move to Nitzatopia, where practical people reign supreme and whiny entitled idiots get smacked around and are forced to pick up trash on the street for a living (or some other dirty chore that no one wants to do) until they get over themselves. Of cousre no one ELSE would like to live in Nitzatopia, because I would be smacking them or telling them what to do But I can tell you what we would NOT be having, and that is scotch-fueled, private-jet Vegas junkets for people running failing businesses. Or I suppose they might have one... but then when they had wasted their money on that they'd be out of a job I am just so absolutely bone-tired SICK of these people who have jobs (and bonuses.... imagine, BONUSES!!!!!) and yet are failing - especially when there are so many hard-working, dedicated, intelligent people who want jobs so badly. Not to say my BFF should get the gig running AIG or something, but for heaven's sake, how much worse could she do?!?!

3catslady

Is there some magic wand that we can use to send this group of ladies to the House and Senate and get the stimulus right? And, while we are at it, could some of us switch places with the CEO's that got bonuses so we would know what it feels like?

Sheila in Cali

3catslady: I have long been convinced that the collective power of the ladies here could solve about 98% of the worlds problems. Leaving 2% so the rest of the government feels useful. Awesome news about the warranty on the starter!!

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

3cats, Yes! Next election we'll divvy up the jobs running the country and get our families out on the campaign trail. I would vote for Muttley to make sure all fiscal promises are kept and provided for, SES_, IOUnomore, Red Ruby, moneysquirrel, nitza to make sure education is top notch, Sheila to develop the code of ethics, R2B2, sapphire to go over policy with a fine tooth comb and look for loopholes, GLDN to ensure that nutritional needs are met, Red_wagon to make sure policies are letter perfect, Dysgrl to promote national and state parks and recreation, azmom to make sure we are a fit nation, HappyCat, CPA, beej, to run our accounts and make sure we run a balanced budget, Freemidwife to promote graduate studies and research, calsfan to handle all tech (another SuperSized job for you, calsfan!), smartstart to head elder care and investigate elder abuse, firebird can oversee college and university administration, hmm...honeylioness for Veteran's Affairs and for that matter, head up the whole military, mittenkitten I will put in charge of social services for women and children, Ravin will oversee regional development in the Plains, Angel will ensure that teacher education is accessible and affordable. I will take on animal welfare. There is plenty of work, so I will put the rest of you in a position shortly!

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

Muttley, On second thoughts, you are needed as head of roads and bridges. bonbon, would you like the post of Eastern Seaboard Trade and Tourism?

mrslynch

toasty--i love your division of labor. one question...can i put the bad guys in jail?

CPAinTrouble

Honey: Bravo well said! I don’t really understand what the rush is to spend hundreds of billions of dollars is either. I didn’t hear that about we have to give them there bonuses cause they went in to this line of work to make a lot of money but if some one actually said that I have an idea for them, give us there bonuses and we will promise to spend half of it on stuff we don’t actually need I don’t need and the other half I will put towards my debt.

SES: I am with you I want this whole thing problem and solutions explained in a way any on can understand. I think they think there pulling a fast one buy trying to make it hard to comprehend.

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

MrsLynch, We will make you Chief Justice and you can have free rein to put away in the slammer any of Wall Street's finest your heart desires.

[Honeylioness]

10 February 2009



Question of the Week (QOTW): What is the best bargain you have ever gotten?

Challenge of the Week (COTW): Learn one new savings strategy and share it with us.

Vegas Challenge: Many of us are planning on getting together October 17-18, 2009 in Las Vegas. As the time gets closer more details will be forthcoming calsfan is helping with this as was someone else but their name elludes me or it may be ABF who hasn't been on our thread for a couple of months but helps with the Saver's thread. Some are planning on staying a little longer and some plan on bringing their SOs. This week take any $1.00 you get in change and put them in your Vegas fund.


QOTW: Oh man – which one to pick? I am stuck between two so I think I will share them both.

About 16 years ago I was “making do” with an old Formica table and black vinyl chairs in my Dining room. Might be nice for some – but for Ms. Traditional / Romantic Country style it was BLEHHHH. On a whim my mother and I stopped at a yard sale on the way home from church. I wound up buying a circa 1932 solid walnut dining table with self-storing leaf on double pedestal legs, three side chairs, arm chair and matching buffet all for $150 from a group of college students who had trashed the chair cushions and ruined the finish on the buffet and table tops. $100 later in supplies and several weekends of work I had refinished the pieces and re-covered the seats.

Then about 4 years ago my BF “pestered” me into attending an auction with her after work. I had been longing for years to once again have my own piano but it just seemed there was no way my budget would ever allow it (my old piano is still living with my parents on the other side of the country). At the auction was this lovely 1935 Lester baby grand with a mahogany casing. R was all excited, but I was more pragmatic and had no real intention of bidding on it.

They opened the bidding at $1K – no hits. Most of the people there were dealers and unless they had a client specifically looking for a piano most do not want to store one on the off chance they will find a buyer. So the auctioneer lowered the starting bid to $500 – no takers. He lowered it again – still nothing. Then in an exasperated voice he said “Fine, just to get this started do I hear $100?” Well – that I could not pass by, so up went the paddle. And two minutes later down went the gavel and I had bought a piano. The man looked at the crowd and said “Boys, that little girl just smoked you all good”.

Price = $100 + tax
Moving to my house = $0 (friends and my pick up)
Moving to second floor = $140 (professionals)
Tuning = $160
Total = Just under $500

Appraised value = $9,500

COTW: Like another I will have to think on this a day or so and get back to everyone.

Vegas Challenge: Cool, I will start this week saving my $1s as I already save all my change.

[Honeylioness]

13 February 2009 - Friday

Okay - time for some good news and a smacking of myself upside the head for doing something dumb.

The good news - When I was online verifying my paycheck had hit my checking account the balance in my savings account jumped off the screen at me. I GOT MY INCOME TAX REFUND!!!! That was fast as I only filed last Thursday.

Now for the dumb thing I did. Last weekend when my friends were delivering and setting up my new system I took them out for dinner as a "thank you". I knew this week was going to be tight money-wise due to the hospital bills from my fall coming in, excise tax and registration for the truck, and I thought there would be car repair also.

Anyway, knowing all this I had decided to charge the dinner on the CC I use about once a month just to keep it active, then pay it in full when the bill comes in a couple of weeks. But alas, I inadvertently handed the waitress my DEBIT card. The bottom line being that if I do not transfer any of the money in my savings account over to checking - I have $37.72 in the account until next Friday, and $23 in my wallet. And I must admit that scares me.

Yes I have paid the mortgage and no utility bills are due this week. But I was planning on going to the grocery store after work as I need cat food, milk, Skippy and a couple of other items. The "old me" would have transferred a couple hundred dollars without even batting an eyelash. But the "current me" is struggling with moving even $100.

Can I go home to bed now??

**************************

Sharing

Honey, guess that's kind of a "Yay, Hurray, Nay" sort of day! So happy about the quick refund. It's true. The idea of nearly no cash is pretty terrifying. How be we treat you to a virtual lunch today?

SES_Books

Honey I am so proud of you for struggling with yourself about transfers from savings for a week. It is too easy to transfer then no reason to count the pennies til next week. You have $60. That is really a great deal of money. You can still get catfood for a week(just tell the kiddos how lucky they are to not have just stale bread crusts), milk, Skippy (if you are brave) and a couple of inexpensive things for the next week. Then just think how proud of yourself you can be. You really can do this.

ETA: I'm sure your pantry is filled with better yummy foods than some supermarkets!!

[Honeylioness]

14 February 2009


Firebird - 02/14/09 12:56 AM

reneejune-- Thanks for the virtual drink, I decided to take you up on it. It's been such an awesome day, if by awesome I mean "insanely stressful, dramatic, and all around sh*tty," which I do.

I came home and found about 30 used syringes on my roommate's bed. I could see this because his door was open. There were also a ton of unused ones on the floor. Plus some bent spoons with residue on them, plus some foil and wax packets all over the place, plus glasses full of p*ss. All in all, it was a lovely scene. I'd say Christmas card material. My other roommate and I called the police and then listened to why they couldn't search the room even though we could all see the drugs lying around there, then how they couldn't arrest him despite the titanic amounts of "paraphernalia" lying around, then how they couldn't stay with me even though I was freaking out about being in the apartment alone.

There are times when it might be nice to live in a police state.

The little worm hasn't come home yet (and I hope for his own sake that he never does, because I am not the only one in this apartment who is apoplectic with rage), but at this point he has unquestionably found out that it was me who called the police so on top of everything else, I'm concerned for my own safety and will be until he's evicted, which won't be until Monday at the soonest.

Yes, this is the same douche who didn't pay his rent last month.

So, class, let's review. This month, Firebird has:

-Lost primary job, the one that allowed her quaint luxuries such as food
-Lost secondary job, the one that might have covered her rent during the unemployed interim.
-Had to cover rent for her irresponsible little prick of a roommate.
-Found out that aforementioned little prick of a roommate is an active heroin user, but for some reason cannot be arrested.

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that things were way too easy for me in New York, and this is the universe's way of straightening me out.

Well, universe, I'm even more determined to succeed now than I was before.

BRING IT ON.

**********************************

3catslady

Firebird; let 'em have it, barrels. They couldn't arrest him because?? All he would have had to do was walk in on them and they could have gotten him for possession, right? But since he wasn't there they can't do anything. Go to the station and file a PFA on him and find a friend and stay there for the night. Just get out. There are Prayers and Hugs coming your way and lots of good juju. Please stay safe for the night.

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

firebird, Okay. Are you on the lease? Is she on the lease? Someone has to go here. I'm guessing this is the DR who has not paid her rent. For starters, level with DOM and DOD with whom you have a good relationship. Get a solid opinion-or three- from the municipal renter's board, and journal what is happening and what she says/admits. You will need to operate on three fronts; your safety, local regulations and thirdly, protection of your property including your car. DO NOT TACKLE THIS ALONE.

Firebird.

All four of us are on the lease, but-- thank God-- we all had to sign a "crime free community" clause, which states that if we break it (which he obviously has) we can be immediately evicted. I've spoken with the apartment manager, and she says that once they get the police report-- which will hopefully make it clear that Cool Roommates and I had nothing to do with this-- they can get Stupid Roommate out. It won't be until Monday though.

This kid is so disgusting. Cool Roommate and I decided to go through his room a little more last night (highly illegal but we so could not care less at this point) and I almost threw up. Not only were there (open) cups of urine and rotting food, we found more syringes that the police missed, plus some of OUR stuff. He was stealing from us-- food, mostly. I feel so stupid. I just jumped into this. I didn't know anything about this guy.

As to why they can't arrest him-- I'm STILL not totally clear on that, but it has something to do with the amount of probable cause. Apparently unless he confesses, there's not enough evidence to generate a warrant for his arrest Clearly they need to find him with a needle actively shoved in his arm to do anything.

I don't care anymore. I just want him out.

Sisters-3

Firebird, I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Can you change the locks so he can't get back in?? Probably illegal too, but at this point I don't think I would care. Do not try to clean up or pick up the stuff. Call in some professionals to clean the room. More money I know, but not worth the risk of an accidental needle stick.

Red2Black2011

Firebird: Please stop challenging the universe to do its worse. Hugs and be safe. Take pictures to document what you saw in his room. Good luck and keep us informed.

Honeylioness
Message #1341
02/14/09 02:34 PM

Firebird - I am just appalled at hearing how the police could/would not take more action. But glad to see that the apartment management is taking this seriously and is willing to evict this nut job.

TAKE PICTURES - these nuts are the kinds of people who feel as though they are "owed" money/stuff/support from everyone around them. You should have documentation to support your position and show it was not apartment wide - just his room.

If you and the roommate(s) want to tackle some of the cleanup I have some advice for you.

• Notify the management company that you are uncomfortable with the living conditions and are going to clean up the worse of the mess. Give them the chance also to come and take their own photos for their records. By telling them you will be getting implicit permission to do so. After all, what is the manager going to say "No, please leave the filth and let it attract bugs and devalue our property?" I don't think so. You and the others should have the RIGHT to reside in a clean and safe environment.
  {8 * Glove up - get latex-like gloves, then after you put them on I would wear garden/work gloves on top of them. Not just because you do not want contact with any drugs, which can get into your system if you touch it and you have an open cut or even peeling cuticles. This type of drug use involves blood, and he has urine lying around - another pathogen issue. Don't open a bottle of water and drink from it while you are wearing gloves as you will just be introducing germs orally instead of through the skin.
  
• Be just as careful de-gloving. Peel off the outer gloves, if wearing garden gloves, and either discard or wash with detergent and bleach. To safely remove latex gloves do it this way:
  o With your right hand pinch the palm of the glove on your left hand.
  o Holding this "pinch" high draw it toward the fingertips and peel the first glove off.
  o Once the left glove is off use your right hand which drew it off to crumple it into a ball into your right hand.
  o Turn your right hand over so the back of your hand is uppermost.
  o Slide the forefinger of your left hand under the right hand glove along the back of your right wrist. Don't do this from the palm side. The back side of the hand is less likely to have been contaminated. Using this sliding motion along the back of your left hand peel off the glove.
  o Drop both into the trash then wash your hands well with lots of soap and hot water.
  
• Sharps - if you can get access to a grabber - like those they use in the park to pick up trash - great. If not TAKE YOUR TIME. Don't try to sweep up and collect things in batches - to easy to get stuck. Put all used and unused needles into a puncture resistant container. An empty coffee can, glass jar or even a small cardboard box. Contact your local hospital and ask where you can bring these for safe disposal. Most hospitals will take accept these or know of places that will.
  
• Don't try to clean anything. By that I mean - if there is a jar of urine, carefully dump the contents into the toilet and toss the container. I would start with double bagged Hefty bags for trash.
  
• Does he have anything personal amongst your stuff. Example: is his toothbrush in a shared holder in the bathroom? If so I would move it into his room and wash the holder with bleach.
  
• Take pictures 1/4, halfway and at the end of the process. Among other things it will show you did not take any of his personal items, did not damage his furniture etc. Throw away ALL food and any/all plates, dishes, containers etc they are on. If you wind up throwing out items belonging to you or the others, take a photo of that item and mark it down on a running list. Keep a list and image of any other items you find that he stole from you. You may never get re-imbursed but you never know when you will need this justification as to what really happened.
  
• You are most likely correct that dope-boy knows you called the cops. After the room is cleaned out write a letter saying who cleaned it, why, document calling the cops and the manager - write it ALL out and each of you should keep a copy and give one to the manager. Then tape a copy to his bed or piece of furniture. Eviction usually requires a Sheriff or some other law enforcement officer. This way there is reliability that he will be delivered this information and cannot say you did not notify him.
  
• Once he is out ask the management company to either hire a professional cleaner - or reimburse you for hiring one - to sterilize his room. If it was MY property I would pull out the carpet, wash everything with bleach, pro actively treat for bugs, then repaint and re-carpet.
  
• Request that the management company replace the locks for security reasons. Heaven knows that those who use a lot of drugs are not the sharpest crayons in the box. You don't want him "forgetting" he no longer lives there and have him wander in some day. I would be surprised if the manager balks at this request.
  

Is there a friend or family member - best if it is male - who can come and sleep at your place the next couple of nights? Many people who rely on drugs like this moron are not very self-confident. If they were they would not NEED the drugs to just feel anything. Just the presence of a man will most likely defuse any confrontation if this guy shows up this weekend.

I would be very very surprised if dope-dude tried any kind of retaliation. Vengeance usually requires a plan and the ability to keep the same thought forefront for longer that three minutes at a time. Heroin is not an empowering, or energy inducing drug like cocaine. It shuts down your mind, dangerously lowers blood pressure even though it increases heart rate, and a user has limited use of fine muscle control. If he is actively using he may be irrational or belligerent - but if he is only a user and not a dealer - I cannot imagine he really wants MORE police attention by committing an act of aggression. People like this usually like to keep to the slime and shadows of their addiction.

I am not trying to scare you with my information about the potential bio-hazards and the steps to take. I just want you and your roommates to be safe and healthy.

Keep us informed, stay safe, and know I am sending prayers of peace and protection for your home.

******************

Firebird. - 02/14/09 03:28 PM

I'm going to take a crack at the "responding to individuals" thing again-- hey, I'm currently unemployed. I have PLENTY of time.

sisters3-- Thanks for your support. We are trying to get the locks changed today. At this point there is little doubt he'll be evicted so I don't see why management would deny us that. He somehow slithered in this morning without any of us knowing and took his laptop (and, I assume, his remaining stash if any). It had to have been this morning because last night I put a chair in front of the front door so we could tell if he came in during the night (would have been askew). At least he didn't try to screw with any of our stuff.

R2B2-- Yeah, I hear you. I still think this is karma of some kind though. You'd think the load on startsmart would be lifted a little since her bad luck appears to be descending on me but I guess it doesn't work that way

pt_in_ny-- Thanks a lot. It's nice to hear encouragement and support.

Thanks, calsfan. By the way, thank you also for your message after I lost my job. I remember that it meant a lot to me and then I kept forgetting to post a message thanking you. You are right-- something better will come along.

moneysquirrel-- Thanks

Honeylioness-- THANK YOU for all the amazing cleaning tips! We're actually going to tackle his room later today, so this was beautiful timing on your part. I will indeed do everything you suggested (we don't think we're going to find more drugs at this point since he was clearly in the apartment and no doubt removed everything else he had) and make sure my roommates do as well.

My other roommates are a couple, and the guy is totally chill, very tall, in good shape, and at least as angry as I am. Stupid Roommate would be insane to get into any kind of confrontation with him. I think at this point, he will never come back-- just disappear into the mist, and I could not be finer with that. However, he might also be doing cocaine (we thought both but we weren't totally sure) so there's a chance he might be even stupider and try something. That's why I want the locks changed today if possible.

Angel-- Just a side note, but I totally hear your frustration. I've been working out like a madwoman and it just doesn't seem to be affecting my body in the slightest. I brought my skinny jeans with me and tried to wear them this morning-- they still fit, but barely. I remember when they were roomy It's incredibly depressing.

Thanks again for the support, everyone. I still can't believe this is happening. It's wicked stressful.

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

firebird, You've got this whole episode well under control in record time. Thumbs up

Honeylioness, Your new title shall be Queen of Useful, Practical, Expert Advice. That was so darned good, I think I'll just start a honeylioness binder. Moving tips, hilarious poems, Disposal of Drug Dopes for Dummies...tell me you're actually Ann Landers, my DOM and my Aunt Mary, reincarnated into one wise, practical lady.

*****************************

startsmart - I remember having that much energy decades ago. But I also remember the thrill of getting your own home just the way you want it. I spent many late nights and weekends painting, wall papering and tearing out disgusting carpets to lay down now floors. Take care of yourself so you have enough energy left to enjoy your upcoming visit with Firebird.

skinny jeans - what are these "skinny jeans" you refer to? I actually don't know if I even own a pair of jeans anymore. I am a skirt lady. I have about 6-7 various denim skirts I wear on Casual Friday at work and during the weekends. I have actually had co-workers comment if I do show up at work in pants. Oh well, the variety of people and styles is what makes this world so interesting.

red_wagon and all the others having a Non-Traditional Valentine's Day - I am in that club. However I do have chocolate! My parent's sent me a package yesterday that included a dozen lovely chocolates from See's Candies - which we do not have here in N.E. But I almost wish I had skipped reading the part where you and Sharing mention cleaning out the fridge.....Le Sigh .... something I have been meaning to do for several weeks myself.

SES - yep, you are an evil evil woman for posting those two recipes. However you will note that it did not stop me from copying them for use myself!

SES - I also wanted to say "Thank You" for your encouraging words about my shortage of cash on hand this week. I did to to the store and got cereal, cat food, flavored seltzer (my current vice), some veggies, bread and a couple other things for just under $30 last night. Then when I came home and got the mail I found two surprises. A $15 refund check for an overpayment at my doctor's from 2007, and a reminder that I still had funds in last years FSA account. Somehow I had forgotten to submit the rest of my receipts - will do that tomorrow as they usually get the money back to me quickly.

HappyCat - Way to go!! While I understand the view of Mr. Cat I would tend to agree with you that the chance to be in a better financial position and career movement would count for a lot with me also. Once you have proven just how invaluable you are I bet in a year you could re-negotiate the office you work out of and maybe even TWO days at home.

Honeylioness, Your new title shall be Queen of Useful, Practical, Expert Advice. That was so darned good, I think I'll just start a honeylioness binder. Moving tips, hilarious poems, Disposal of Drug Dopes for Dummies...tell me you're actually Ann Landers, my DOM and my Aunt Mary, reincarnated into one wise, practical lady

Sharing - I am losing count of how many times you have made me blush! But I am sorry to tell you I don't think I can be your Aunt or Mom as I think I am younger that you.

Yet I do want to take a moment to thank you, and the others here, who do not treat me as "weird" or scarily eccentric when I offer suggestions and lists. I have had many people in the past who just give me that LOOK. The one that clearly states they are wondering what alternate reality I beamed in from. I have always been a practical, methodical, detail oriented person. Even as a kid - though I am not sure how much of that is an innate characteristic and how much a result of living with an alcoholic father which led me to try and make order out of a family life that often felt chaotic.

Frugal Note - so one of the things I did today was to take apart my clock radio. The other night the little sliding switch on the side that controls the alarm snapped into several pieces. I mean really - the thing is ONLY 12 years old! So I took it apart and after setting the other switch to stay on FM I loosened the circuit panels and moved the frequency switch to the control panel side then put it all back together again.

Okay, I will admit it. Hello - my name is Honeylioness and I am a geek

****************************************

Firebird. 02/16/09 12:13 AM

Update: Cool Roommate and I spent about 3 hours cleaning out Stupid Roommate's room yesterday. I'll spare you the details, but it was a disgusting job. I have a pretty stalwart stomach but even I almost lost my lunch a time or two.

We changed the locks this morning, so I'll sleep much better tonight. His sister was supposed to come over to pick up his stuff but I don't think she's coming over, and I really couldn't care less either way. He sent me the following text message earlier: "Why did cops talk to me about stuff in my room? What was that all about? They said you called them. They said there was no drugs in my room except Perafanilia and that's why I got evicted. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

Oh gee, Stupid Roommate, I don't know. Something about living next to a heroin addict didn't appeal to me. I'm a stick in the mud like that. LEARN TO SPELL.

Of course, I didn't say any of that. Didn't want to dignify it with a reply. Screw him.

red_wagon-- Aww, thanks! I don't know that I handled this any better than anyone else would have, but I'm flattered to be someone's role model. I'm your Flight Attendant Barbie

R2B2, startsmart, bonbon, reneejune-- Thanks, lovies. I have no doubt you'd both do some serious damage to this <insert rude slang term for special piece of male anatomy here>.

nitza-- Trust me, I barely slept till we changed the locks. My current worry is that the apartment complex won't evict him, because all the cops found was "Perafanilia." I don't know what we're going to do if that's the case. Especially since he seems to have disappeared. Either way, the cops clearly don't give a flying <censored> about arresting him, because laws are stupid and cops are lazy. The Flagstaff Police Department won no points with me over this incident.

Angel/skinny jeans-- My skinny jeans are just a pair of jeans I used to wear that made my butt look skinny They're in really good condition, too-- my current, nonskinny jeans have a hole right in the crotch. That's not pleasant. So I'd like to be able to wear my skinny jeans again.

SES_Books-- We took pictures! I'll send them to anyone who needs a glimpse into the upcoming hit TV show, "Life In The Fast Lane of Skid Row."

My_Gal-- The bathroom is sparkly clean now, and decontaminated from Stupid Roommate's presence. That was Priority #2 after clearing up his former bedroom. Seriously, guys, even if he wasn't a drug addict I'd've wanted him out of there. After cleaning his room, I... just... have all the respect in the world for people who clean filthy houses for a living.

3catslady-- OMG. I am so unbelievably touched! I can't believe you prayed yourself to sleep over me! I don't know that anyone's ever done that for me before. Anyway, I'm fine, but I am really stressing over the fact that he's not yet been evicted, so if you want to keep praying, there's a specific for you I wish I could really hug you now. What a sweetheart you are.

HappyCat-- I think you hit the nail on the head in five letters or less

Freemidwife-- Good point. Honestly, we thought he was just irresponsible but this makes much more sense.

MuttleynFelix-- It's much funnier now that he's out of the apartment, and it will be funnier still after he is evicted. If he were arrested, I would simply not be able to stop laughing.

sapphire-- Thanks!

***********************

16 February 2009


As each of us go through life we acquire knowledge and skills that we may not realize are all that unique. Then another person makes a comment or observation and suddendly we see things in a different light. Well, that happened to me today.

Last night I was talking to a friend and telling her about Firebird's roommate situation and my suggestions on this board. When I was done she was laughing and said "Hun, they are going to think you hang around drug users and have done this before". I told her she was nuts, then today I got two e-mails from ladies wondering just HOW I knew so much about dealing with contaminated sites, and I thought "Rut row - maybe I should explain" I must warn you though - the reasons are rather mundane and boring.

Before taking my current job with Bard I worked for seven years at Wyeth Pharmaceuticals. During my first year I had the opportunity to get certified as an Emergency Medical Responder (EMR). Pharma companies use and store a lot of dangerous chemicals and biological agents - including human blood. Part of my training was learning how to deal with accidents and clean up in the Bio Labs, that is where I learned that even split cuticles are enough of an injury to let a pathogen enter the system. And many chemicals while inert on their own can cause real problems if they get into the body.

Additionally, for the last two years I have volunteered with a group called the Lowell Canalwater Cleaners. It's a long story as to why the owner's don't deal with this, but suffice to say a need was seen and a group got together to deal with it. You can find more information here: www.canalwaters.org/

Unfortunately due to the years the canals actively serviced the textile mills they were a dumping ground for many chemicals used in the mills. Bleaches, caustic solutions, dyes, acids and some that contained heavy metals were dumped into the waterways and leeched into the stones making up the walls of the canals. These chemicals are still seeping back into the water, the same waters the LCC hauls trash out of every year. And we need to protect ourselves. We also find a lot of syringes and decaying organic material that can make you very sick. I was a bit appalled the first week I volunteered at the rather lax way volunteers were protecting themselves. So we now go through a 10 minute orientation before each clean up on how to best protect yourself and what to do if you get stuck or get any water in your face.

So there it is. Nothing very exciting like - I used to work a CSI team. Nevertheless I am glad I was able to share some of my tips with Firebird. I know that some people would have told her to leave it alone and wait until she could hire some professionals - but having gotten to know her over the last year I knew she is a real take charge woman and would not be content to just let sit there. So I gave her the info she needed to be safe.


Sharing

honeylioness, Another example of the shared knowledge and collective experience that makes this board and our thread so central in our lives. That is so interesting. What wonderful work to do, restoring the canals of Lowell. It's almost time for the annual spring clean of our roads and highways by volunteer groups. How good to recall that in the midst of Wall Street's silliness, Main Street continues to roll up sleeves and get going. I can't imagine a day without checking in here and marvelling at the everyday courage and common sense. We are Rosie the Riveter, only we are working our twenty-first century war effort against the enemy within our borders, the burden of toxic debt.

[Honeylioness]

15 February 2009

Ombud - Way to go on your mini-epiphany. Budgeting and being frugal is a learned behavior. Some of us learned by watching out Depression-era Granparents (as I did), others come to the realization at differnt points in their life - most after they have to due to a life changing event.

SES - Ditto what Freemidwife said. My parent company is primarily medical devices, and my division's focus is the workings of the heart muscle. The advances made even in just the last five years is mind boggling. As long as your niece does what her doctor's tell her she should have no real pregnancy issues. One caveat though is that patients' with heart issues are usually directed to a C-section for the birth.

Sharing - Good thoughts for you and your son. Keep us posted. Boys really ARE more work aren't they - at least that is what I used to tell my mother.

red_wagon - boy am I glad I did not see your comment about merely sniffing out the offending item in your fridge until now!


I am sitting on my couch and very tired at the moment - but it is a good tired. After yesterday reading all that some of the other Ladies were getting accomplished I was motivated to get my rear in gear. I wound up having a frenzy day of cleaning: disassembled the stove and scrubbed it, scrubbed the exhaust hood, emptied the entire fridge including all shelves and drawers cleaning them all and the even the front grill, went through all containers and tossed things that were on the brink of evolving into new life forms (sorry Darwin).

Swept half the condo parking lot, this had selfish motives since my back door seems to be the vortex where all trash gets blown in front of. It was in the 50s so I cleared out my side garden of all remaining stalks and spent annuals - which I did not get to before they were buried in snow months ago. Then deciding that was not enough for one day I cleaned the cat litter boxes and finally dealt with the laundry room. Took off the dryer panel over the motor and lint trap, removed the casings and cleaned them out of lint and dust then washed down the washer and the dryer.

Phew - no wonder I am beat.


Mac & Cheese variation. I saw this on a restaurant show today and may have to try this soon:

Mac and Cheese Crescents

Serving Size: 8 portions

1 package macaroni and cheese
8 ounces Velveeta (or whatever other melting cheese you prefer)
8 ounces ham cubes
1 package crescent rolls

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Prepare your favorite macaroni and cheese, fold in the cubed ham. Extra cheese and allow to cool slightly.

Separate dough into 8 triangles on an ungreased cookie tray

Place two tablespoons of mixture at widest part of triangle and roll up. Place point side down

Bake for 10-14 minutes or until a light golden brown.

***********************************************

My_Gal

Honey - you're exhausting me! Scrubbed the entire stove!!! I thought I was doing well to have finally cleaned out my room and unpacked 3 boxes. Which I oddly decided to do around 7pm. Why I don't know but when a cleaning urge strikes, I go with it since they're not to frequent around here. As someone once put it, my clutter and I are in a very committed relationship.

SES_Books

Freemidwife/Honey--you have just become my go to experts for when my sister starts to stress out. I'm sure my niece has the next year and a half all planned out and written in her planner. She has to be the most organized, calm, unflappable person i have ever met.

Honey -if you got all that done in a day-want to come visit me for about a week?

[Honeylioness]

16 February 2009


Okay - I am home today for President's Day and once again my mind has moved into some weird territory. Ever since I made the comment to Angel about Helen Reddy, that song has been running through my brain. So in true Honey fashion I have modified it in homage to this group. Enjoy.


We are Women, hear us roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And we know too much to go and overspend
'Cause we've heard it all before
Creditor's knocking on the door
No one's ever gonna hound us so again


CHORUS
Oh yes, we are wise
But it's wisdom born of debt
Yes, we've paid the price
But look at what we get
If we have to, we can save everything
We are strong (strong)
We are now disciplined (disciplined)
We are Saving


You can bend but never break us
'cause it only serves to make us
More determined to give our funds a second look
And we come back even stronger
No, we are novices no longer
'Cause we've held on to the funds in our checkbook


CHORUS
Oh yes, we are strong
And we're learning all the time
Things in the past we have done wrong
But now we squeeze those dimes
If we have to, we can save everything
We are strong (strong)
We are now disciplined (disciplined)
We are Saving


We are women watch us grow
From 401(k)s to portfolios
As we spread our lovin' wisdom 'cross the land
But we're sill determined to learn
The ways to invest and save and earn
Until we help our sisters understand


CHORUS
Oh yes, we're in the black
And don't need no stimulus
Yes, we've led the pack
And now they look to us
If we have to, we can save everything
We are strong (strong)
We are now disciplined (disciplined)
We are Saving

********************************

Red2Black2011 - 02/17/09 11:15 AM

MK: Thanks so much for everything you do for us. OMG this has been my best month yet and I'm tied with Calsfan and Honeylioness. What awesome company to be in.

Honeylioness: Your words brings to mind the lyrics of "I'm a WOMAN" by Peggy Lee

I can wash out 44 pairs of socks and have 'em hangin out on the line
I can starch & iron 2 dozens shirts 'fore you can count from 1 to 9
I can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the drippins can
Throw it in the skillet, go out & do my shopping, be back before it melts in the pan
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

I can rub & scrub this old house til it's shinin' like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car, & powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 a.m. and then
Lay down at 5, jump up at 6, and start all over again
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

If you come to me sickly you know I'm gonna make you well
If you come to me all hexed up you know I'm gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry you know I'm gonna fill you full of grits
If it's lovin you're likin, I'll kiss you and give you the shiverin' fits
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again

I can stretch! a green black dollar bill from here to kindom come!
I can play the numbers pay the bills and still end up with some!
I got a twenty-dollar gold piece says there ain't nothing I can't do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, and that's all

[Honeylioness]

16 February 2009

15/25 NEO
15/20 NS/CS


Mrs.Lynch - Way to go on the Play. Another woman we will be proud to say "We Knew Her When"

startsmart - We of course all KNEW you would get the promotion.

JennysMom - Most days I feel like a Military Widow - not in that my husband died, but like a "Football Widow". The difference being that instead of losing my mate each weekend to the television, but in the sense that just when it seems he and I are getting ready to move onto the next phase of our relationship he gets called overseas. I have not heard from him in a couple of weeks, and while a small part of me hoped he would remember or have the motivation to use his internet connection to send me flowers - alas it did not happen. Most of the time, especially in the last 6-7 months, I feel as though I am no longer part of an "US" and wonder if it is just time to cut the fantasy and move on. Then deal with any fallout, fight, or formal breakup until, or if, he ever comes back.

As those of you reading may be able to tell, I am really struggling with the situation between Redhawk and myself. I have tried to not voice it too often but it does weigh heavily on my mind a lot of the time. This living in limbo and feeling as though my life is slipping away is getting harder and harder. The worst part is the feeling that I have passed my opportunity to have a child.

And on that note - I think it's time for a glass of wine.

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Red2Black2011

Honey: Re the lyrics, YOU are Rock!!!! Re Redhawk When the time is right you'll make the best decision for you. And you know we're here for you.

Sharing the Simple Lifestyle

Honey, have the wine. There isn't an answer right away. I feel this way because you are someone who knows and senses a great deal. If you do not have an answer, there isn't one right now. Limbo is the hardest plane on which to live. While you are stationed in this lonely outpost, you are already taking steps which will benefit you whichever way limbo is resolved. You're reaching out, growing your support system, adding skills and experience, living in now moments. Your creative self is a resource which in you is highly developed. Mull over your options, draw up your pros and cons list. You've got courage and strength so your current task is to add to both, to get ready for next steps.

Sheila in Cali

Honey: Hugs to you. It takes a while to figure it out but I think you will come to a decision on what you want out of life. We will always be here to support you and cheer you on.


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Honeylioness

The days are longer, the sun is brighter and we're all thinking, "Oops, those winter curves are soon to be revealed in all their non-glory when we dig the capris, shorts and bathing suits out from hiding!"

Sharing - I had to laugh reading your comment above. Especially since I finally picked up my mail today and there was a fabric catalog with a print that I may just have to get some of. It seemed so appropriate to share in light of your comment.

Fruit Ladies