November 2008

[Honeylioness]

19 November 2008

QOTW: Actually, I have stopped reading certain financial reports because, for me anyways, they either come across as too unattainable or too Chicken Little The Sky Is Falling. And I will confess I may be one of the only people on this board who has NOT read Dave Ramsey’s book. I have heard him on the radio, I have watched some shows on PBS, but for me I prefer exchanging thoughts and ideas and getting insights as to what has worked for other people from REAL people like all of you. Because while I admire Warren Buffet – I am not sure he has tips that will help me pay the gas bill.

As to what I do to save for the future – well, several months ago I upped my 401(k) contribution and took a good look at where my allocations were and where they might have bigger re-bound potential. Because as I told my friend “Hey, why not? Everything is on sale!” I am working on building up my EF – currently it has one month’s take home in it and I am hoping to increase it to two months by June of next year. I also have a secret stash of cash on hand for emergencies – currently just under $300. Not because I think we are going to experience sudden anarchy and all the banks will close. But because here in the N.E. we are way overdue for a major hurricane, and at least once a year we loose electricity for a couple of days. And if you need to go to the store for emergency food – well, cash is king since your ATM card won’t work and most stores won’t take a check since they cannot run it through the system to be sure you are not a deadbeat. My long term goal is to try and pay off the mortgage ahead of the 30yr loan date. I need to look long and hard at my budget for 2009 and see how/if I can consistently pay more principal each month and still be able to eat.

[Honeylioness]

sohappy2beme
Message #1
11/19/08 12:38 AM

For those of you who have been in debt and are either still in the race or now successfully finished and put it behind you, do you ever feel a little obsessive and on your guard about not giving into that temptation and falling back in? Basically, I realize I am neurotic on the subject of finances. I am curious if anyone else out there feels the same way.

*****************************

Honeylioness
Message #13
11/19/08 02:06 PM

I guess I feel compelled to skip in here and just add an analogy that came to me. Perhaps it will make sense to you and your DF - perhaps not.

I once also got myself into one heck of a financial mess. Five credit cards, most of them with past due balances and almost maxed out, and with an income that most definitely could not support the lifestyle I was trying to pretend I could legitimately have.

And then I worked my behind off and got rid of them all. Paid off everything and now have just the mortgage. And yes - I completely understand what you mean when you said you knew you could easily walk into a mall with a couple of credit cards and rack up the amount equal to a small city's budget without much effort just because you might "want" to. I have the same fear if you will. That because I did it once - I will do it again. Though I agree with Old Tex that those who are self aware are much less likely to actually do what they fear.

Anyways, I digress. Here is the analogy that came to me.

Let's say you are someone who lost 150 pounds through a disciplined, steady and healthy approach. You learned what a correct portion was, started moderate exercise until you got more limber, drank water, got support and over an 18-24 month period achieved a final weight for you that was appropriate and healthy for your body.

But .....

It is not something that will just maintain itself. It requires attention, conscious decisions about food and activity, and awareness of your eating triggers. Anyone who has fought a weight battle knows it is all too easy to let go and let one night of M&Ms and soda for dinner become two...then three...then four days where any progress made gets blown out of the water.

Being self-policing and vigilant about our money is very similar. And I think you are doing just fine. By allowing yourself some "fun" money for vacations or a "non-essential" you actually lessen the chances you will go completely off the deep end financially. Just as a dieter learns that truly savoring and enjoying a bowl of ice cream once in a while satisfies their cravings, helps them not feel deprived, and so strengthens their belief in the ability to press on and maintain.

Hope this made as much sense in print as it did in my head

[Honeylioness]

SnowAngel33 - 12/11/09 07:34 PM

I am so freaking mad and freaked and just want to cry! DH just informed me that not only is the army not going to put him up in officer housing for the time he is going to be in Georgia which means he has to pay $300 a month rent, but they are also going to pay us BAH based on him living in Georgia and not even take into consideration that his family is still living here. So that means his pay will go down by $400 a month! So that is $700 a month we will be out until he is deployed! I am so seriously stressed out about this. I don't know how I am going to pay off debt with such a huge decrease in pay. Oh and with the $400 a month decrease in pay that means we won't actually be making very much more off from his deployment so my whole debt payoff plan is all messed up!

I think I am about to have a major anxiety attack.



Sheila in Cali - 12/11/09 07:55 PM

Angel: Breathe. How long will he be in Georgia before his deployment? Did he have a nice come to Jesus talk with the people in the finance department? I enjoyed my days in the military but those people are notorious for messing up people's pay. Breathe again (repeat as necessary)



SnowAngel33 - 12/11/09 08:04 PM


Ok so I just can't stop crying. I have been under so much stress and trying so hard to save my marriage, get through school, deal with his deployment. Did I mention I will also have student loan payments that will kick in that will be about $300 a month?


Sheila he will be there about 3 months. He is lucky that he knows a Lt. that is moving there and offered to let him live with him for $300 or the rent would be even higher.


SnowAngel33 - 12/11/09 08:21 PM

beej they have already been in deferrment the last 3 years. This is my second round of school. I dropped out my Senior year my last attempt because I had a miscarriage and my DH was being transferred to Alabama and I seriously was not mentally able to stay behind.

I will just have to figure something out. We do have some money in savings, a broken garage door. Oh our mortgage just reset (don't get me started on my husband signing an ARM mortgage...I didn't have a job so I couldn't be on the loan but am on the title of the house he just told me the interest rate an not that it was a ARM..rate can never be higher than 7.25 per loan agreement)....fortunately for us the rate is lower for the next year and our payment will go down by $114 starting February.


beej67 - 12/11/09 08:46 PM

Well, that parts good (the mortgage going down). Darn about the SL's, would they maybe extend the deferment a while longer since your DH is being deployed? That may be considered special circumstance and give you some extra time to look for a teaching position for the fall. There's certainly no harm in asking.


Sheila in Cali - 12/11/09 11:25 PM

Angel: really s.ucks that the student loans are coming due at the same time as all of this too. At least you have a bit of a time frame- 3 months and he is getting to bunk with a Lt so you have a more affordable housing option than you otherwise might have. But look at the bright side- after the next semester you graduate right? By 6 months from now your situation may be entirely different (for the financial better).
You are stuck in a sink or swim situation. I think you have earned yourself a weekend to be frustrated and eat some ice cream straight out of the container. But come Monday I am sure you will have a revised plan in place and a can do attitude! (obviously I have never been a cheerleader but you get my drift). I did learn in softball that in life you have to "Be Aggressive, B E Aggressive, B.E.A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E"



SnowAngel33 - 12/12/09 09:46 AM

Sheila and Sharing I will revise a plan. I will figure it out. Things will be really tight for awhile. DH thinks that once he is deployed and not in the other state that they will put our BAH back up to the Detroit rate. So we might only have to take the pay cut for about 5-6 months. Once he is deployed he won't have to pay rent either...so it looks like we might only have to suffer for 6 months. I will make the needed cuts around here. I will do cheaper meals at home for the kids and I. Stop going to Starbucks, finally completely stop smoking (I don't smoke a lot but still it is bad and a waste of money even if a pack will last me almost 2 weeks). And yes he will get his pay tax free, danger pay, family seperation pay while deployed in Iraq. I will just really have to buckle down for the next 6 months and pay the minimums and not worry about paying things off until he actually deploys. I will figure it out.
















reenee - great job on paying off the car. And glad to hear you are okay after that scary 360 turn!

wvugurl - Congrats on passing that test!

3cats - As I usually include my return address in case our beloved USPS messes up delivery my SS is quite likely to know who the box is from.

beej - I guess it will be you and me then for NYE. The Girl wants to go into Boston for First Night. But at this point in my life my idea of purgatory is 50,000 people in the dead of winter and it is always the coldest/wettest/windiest night of the year. Then josting in the subway and train with too many people that have been drinking all day. Midnight is going to find me on my ocund in my jammies also.


Well, we did not get the cookies frosted today. But we did get to the eye glass place to fix The Girls classes ( one of the lenses popped out and we just could not get it back in), then a book for her friend, ran into several of her school mates (that was .... interesting), then off to the fabric store and finally home. We did get the tree up and decorated along with the other things I wanted to get done.

Then the bad money spend moment. She did not realize she had pushed the privacy button on the inside of the bathroom door and cosed it from the outside. After trying for about 30 minutes to get the realease to work I realized the fixture was stripped. So now there are two choices. Call a locksmith, or chop through the door. I decided that the locksmith would be the cheaper alternative to the cost of buying a new door.

*Sigh*

$85 and a new door handle later I was in NO mood to make dinner so we went out for one of our rare fast food runs. Then a friend of hers we had met at the Mall, Arnold, came over. Nice kid. As we were finishing hanging ornaments on the tree my doorbell rang and another teenage boy was there who said "Is Arnold here?" ... WHAT?? I my house now on some sort of teenage tour route?

Well it turns out this friend had received a text from Arnold's sister, but Arnold's phone was turned off. His house was on fire. So he rushed off to see just what was going on. The Girl was almost as upset as he was and felt it might have been her fault, since he was here and not at home. So we had to do some reassuring on that score.

Then I got into an odd straightening, sweeping frenzy which explains why at this silly hour I am finally getting ready to head off to bed.

Oh, the fire turned out to be minor but they had to have the electricity turned off and will spending the night with relatives, but everyone is okay.