Post by Honeylioness on Jan 28, 2009 11:27:52 GMT -5
28 January 2009
Stuck, the verb form of Stick.
Origin: bef. 900; ME stiken, OE stician to pierce, thrust; akin to G stechen to sting, L -stīg- in instīgāre (see Instigate), Gk stÃzein (see Stigma )
I like words, and some I even love. Weird I know. I have always been fascinated with language and how people use it. Words and their meanings and nuances, how one spelling can mean so many different things depending on context or tone of voice. When I was a kid I use to read the dictionary, and thesaurus, the way other kids probably read comic books.
Once in High School when I was home for six weeks with Mononucleosis I even starting reading the set of encyclopedias we had. I got up to O-P before I went back to school, and over the next few months finished to Z. Even then I was a compulsive type of personality.
But I digress.
Why "Stuck"? Why is this the word of the day? Philosophers say that the most complete answer to the question of Why is Because. But that would be disingenuous and a cop out.
Because that is how I feel is the proper answer today.
And not just in one thing, or one place - but it feels like a pervasive malaise that is seeping into several different places of my life. Work, home, chores, creativity, paperwork, etc...etc....etc....
I cannot remember the last time I did any sewing. I have several projects in the works that I keep saying "Yeah, I really need to finish that" ... and yet I find myself with the time, feeling completely unmotivated to start working on any of them. Because I am tired, or they won't turn out like I see them in my mind, or because so-and-so is a better quilter than I am and I would not want her/him to see this, or I just feel as though I do not have the skills to pull off my idea(s), etc....etc....etc.....
See a pattern?
Yes, I have some valid reasons why I get interrupted. Falling at the beginning of the month and not being able to do anything with my left hand for weeks did not allow me to do things I normally would not even think twice about.
But what about before that?
It almost feels too easy to blame my depression, or the weather, or the season, or my boss(es) for this lack of motivation. I know my depression can deepen in cycles. But this feels like ...more. A part is the dysfunctional dynamics between Redhawk and myself, and his being gone for so long. Which I think has not created this issue, merely highlighted them for me. Do I even feel as though we HAVE a relationship or is it time to cut bait?
This week's NS/CS Challenge of the Week also dredged up some emotional nutse.
Do I even HAVE a social network anymore? My family is scattered all over the country. I have not had a church home in about two years, I rarely get to see the woman I consider my best friend even though she lives only 20 miles away, I really do not have any other friends who live nearby - those I do consider friends are in Virginia, Alabama or merely electronic.
I remember someone telling me once that if you feel as though no part of your life is really working and fulfilling, then it all will seem the same way.
So how do I change that? How do I get "un-stuck"
?
It's not as easy as telling someone to just DO it. Do WHAT? and when? and with whom?
I need to pick one thing, one SMALL thing that in the next week I can either do - or do differently. My tendency in the past has been to try and tackle everything all at once, which leads me to feeling overwhelmed, which in turn makes sure I fail.
So one thing. Something achievable, specific and doable in say an hour. I'll let you know how that goes.
Stuck, the verb form of Stick.
Origin: bef. 900; ME stiken, OE stician to pierce, thrust; akin to G stechen to sting, L -stīg- in instīgāre (see Instigate), Gk stÃzein (see Stigma )
- To bring to a standstill; render unable to proceed or go back (usually used in the passive): The car was stuck in the mud.
- Chiefly British Informal. to tolerate; endure: He couldn't stick the job more than three days.
- To confuse or puzzle; bewilder; perplex; nonplus: He was stuck by the very first problem on the test.
- Informal. to impose something disagreeable upon (a person or persons), as a large bill or a difficult task: The committee persistently stuck him with fund collection.
- To hold, cleave, or cling: The young rider stuck to the back of his terrified horse.
- To become fastened, hindered, checked, or stationary by some obstruction: Her zipper stuck halfway up.
- To be at a standstill, as from difficulties: I'm stuck on this problem.
- To be embarrassed or puzzled; hesitate or scruple
- A stoppage or standstill.
- Something causing delay or difficulty.
- Stick by or to, to maintain one's attachment or loyalty to; remain faithful to: They vowed to stick by one another no matter what happened.
I like words, and some I even love. Weird I know. I have always been fascinated with language and how people use it. Words and their meanings and nuances, how one spelling can mean so many different things depending on context or tone of voice. When I was a kid I use to read the dictionary, and thesaurus, the way other kids probably read comic books.
Once in High School when I was home for six weeks with Mononucleosis I even starting reading the set of encyclopedias we had. I got up to O-P before I went back to school, and over the next few months finished to Z. Even then I was a compulsive type of personality.
But I digress.
Why "Stuck"? Why is this the word of the day? Philosophers say that the most complete answer to the question of Why is Because. But that would be disingenuous and a cop out.
Because that is how I feel is the proper answer today.
And not just in one thing, or one place - but it feels like a pervasive malaise that is seeping into several different places of my life. Work, home, chores, creativity, paperwork, etc...etc....etc....
I cannot remember the last time I did any sewing. I have several projects in the works that I keep saying "Yeah, I really need to finish that" ... and yet I find myself with the time, feeling completely unmotivated to start working on any of them. Because I am tired, or they won't turn out like I see them in my mind, or because so-and-so is a better quilter than I am and I would not want her/him to see this, or I just feel as though I do not have the skills to pull off my idea(s), etc....etc....etc.....
See a pattern?
Yes, I have some valid reasons why I get interrupted. Falling at the beginning of the month and not being able to do anything with my left hand for weeks did not allow me to do things I normally would not even think twice about.
But what about before that?
It almost feels too easy to blame my depression, or the weather, or the season, or my boss(es) for this lack of motivation. I know my depression can deepen in cycles. But this feels like ...more. A part is the dysfunctional dynamics between Redhawk and myself, and his being gone for so long. Which I think has not created this issue, merely highlighted them for me. Do I even feel as though we HAVE a relationship or is it time to cut bait?
This week's NS/CS Challenge of the Week also dredged up some emotional nutse.
COTW: With all the stress everyone is going through let's make sure our social networks are being taken care of. Not only for networking for jobs if needed but just the good feelings that come from good friendships. Reach out to a friend you haven't talked to in a while or befriend someone that needs it.
Do I even HAVE a social network anymore? My family is scattered all over the country. I have not had a church home in about two years, I rarely get to see the woman I consider my best friend even though she lives only 20 miles away, I really do not have any other friends who live nearby - those I do consider friends are in Virginia, Alabama or merely electronic.
I remember someone telling me once that if you feel as though no part of your life is really working and fulfilling, then it all will seem the same way.
So how do I change that? How do I get "un-stuck"
? It's not as easy as telling someone to just DO it. Do WHAT? and when? and with whom?
I need to pick one thing, one SMALL thing that in the next week I can either do - or do differently. My tendency in the past has been to try and tackle everything all at once, which leads me to feeling overwhelmed, which in turn makes sure I fail.
So one thing. Something achievable, specific and doable in say an hour. I'll let you know how that goes.