honeylioness - Nov 24, 2012, 12:17am Howdy everyone - not much happening here today. I have been battling this cold and sinus thing for almost a week now and spent a very slug-like day today. However I did get writing done.
As I mentioned before (I am pretty sure I have anyway) I am participating in the annual NaNoWrMo with the goal of writing 50,000 words during the month of November.
As of this evening I am at 45,980 words ... SO CLOSE
I am working on the rough draft of a book I am calling "I'll Call You ... or Not: A look back at men I have known and dated" Within this is a section I am calling -
MEN I AM GLAD I NEVER DATED
So, for your entertainment I am going to post an excerpt for your review. Hope everyone's weekend is wonderful.
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Greg – This was a man who lived five doors down from me at my condo/townhouse complex.
Here is the scene: It is Thanksgiving Day 2007. As it usually is during November in New England it was a cold and overcast day. As I was in the kitchen prior to my guests arriving I was aware of an odd hissing noise. At first I did not pay too much attention to it, but when it had gone on for almost 20 minutes my curiosity got the better of me. So I went out my back door which leads from my kitchen to a wraparound porch on the second level of the complex. This porch runs all around the interior perimeter of the complex.
The other thing you need to know is that the units were built in 1986/1987. And because of some management issues maintenance had not been a priority for a few years. Which is to say that the wood of the deck was very weathered and dry. Some of the flooring planks were not even exterior grade or weather treated.
As I went out onto the back porch I looked to my right from where the sound seemed to be coming from. And almost immediately I found the noise’s source. A large turkey fryer set atop a tripod with a propane tank powering the fire to heat the oil.
I quickly see several problems here: Open fire + dry wood = inferno. Plus he had filled the fryer almost all the way to the top.
Do you remember Eighth Grade math and the famous story of Archimedes? The story goes like this:
This exclamation is most famously attributed to the ancient Greek scholar Archimedes. He reportedly proclaimed "Eureka!" when he stepped into a bath and noticed that the water level rose—he suddenly understood that the volume of water displaced must be equal to the volume of the part of his body he had submerged. (This relation is not what is known as Archimedes' principle—that deals with the up thrust experienced by a body immersed in a fluid) He then realized that the volume of irregular objects could be measured with precision, a previously intractable problem. He is said to have been so eager to share his discovery that he leapt out of his bathtub and ran through the streets of Syracuse naked.
Well I can see that this idiot is about to recreate this event in hot oil with disastrous results. So I quickly went to the unit’s back door and banged on it. Oh yeah – no one was watching over the rig either.
When he came to the door I said to him “You cannot use this on the deck. It is a huge fire hazard and you have too much oil in there as well.” At this point his girlfriend came up behind him and poked him in the back with an oh-so- helpful “I told you so.”
This was one of those men who really cannot believe that anyone besides them knows anything and if you ever try to point out something he is doing incorrectly he is not receptive. Fortunately another neighbor had come over and backed me up. In fact he reached over and turned off the burner. They then proceeded to carry the rig down stairs and set it up in front of his garage, on the concrete driveway. That seemed to be a much better location. Except that the fryer is still too full and no matter how much we try to explain it to him he just did not “get” it that there was not enough room for his 10 pound turkey without it forcing hot oil out and over the edge of the large pot.
All I could do was have the phone will me because I was certain I would be making a call to the fire department. And as I suspected – there was an issue. Not only did this guy DROP the turkey into the hot oil – without any method of retrieving it. Didn’t think that one through did he. He also made a second fatal flaw – the turkey he dropped into boiling oil was FROZEN!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. Consider how much of a POP you get when frying bacon and one little drop of water gets into the pan than multiply that by about 500 times. There was a huge KA-POW, hot oil poured over the edge of the kettle and when it hit the open flame the entire rig was now engulfed.
I learned that I can dial pretty fast when need be. And as they are less than ¼ mile down the street from me they were there in less than five minutes to put it out. Thank goodness the propane tank did not explode or the flames get high enough to set the underside of the deck on fire.
You just have to know that he was not going to be able to live down this little adventure for the rest of his life.
scottishlassie - Nov 24, 2012, 12:58am I think I knew the end of that story before I even finished reading it.
I've heard so many incidents of people dropping frozen turkeys into those deep fat turkey friers.
But I have to give you kudos to your writing style. Your description of the incident was bang-on. [image]
I think you have a knack for being an author, and you managed to add a touch of humor to your style of writing which made that little story fun to read.
honeylioness - Nov 26, 2012, 4:03pm I really need to buckle down and update my spreadsheets so I can have a number to post at the end of the week.
Silver Bells - Thank you for the nice comment about the excerpt.
3cats - OH NO!!! I do hope you were able to get the heater replaced. Not something I consider an optional item, especially during the winter. Ohhh... seeing you replaced it. Sounds as though this new one is much stronger than the previous one. Take care of yourself.
rennee - Glad to hear your trip to see your brother went well. I know it is always a very long day for you when you make that trip.
Rocky - How did you like the exhibit? I did not realize it was touring the U.S.
Redwagon - Glad it was a quick fix this time. But I would guess you will be looking at beefing up your washer/dryer replacement fund.
So another weekend where it seems I lost my mind!!!
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My annual cookie baking day for gifts and parties. We made the following: Peanut Butter Blossoms (85), Zimtsterne - a German cinnamon cookies (58), Cut out Butter cookies frosted and decorated (101), Chocolate Chip (86) and Maple cookies with a maple glaze (93). That is a total of 423 cookies or just over 35 dozen!!!
www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a....97355911&type=1Complete set of photos on Photobucket:
s25.photobucket.com/albums/c72/ho....ay%2025Nov2012/And if you missed last week's baking adventure I had 15 girls ranging from 7 to 16 in the church kitchen where we made 24 pies from scratch for a local homeless advocacy group and their Thanksgiving dinner.
Pictures can be found in an abbreviated album on Facebook
www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a....97355911&type=3Or again in Photobucket:
s25.photobucket.com/albums/c72/ho....es%2018Nov2012/
