May 2012

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 03 May 2012 at 3:03pm


Final April Numbers

26 NEO
25 NSD/CSD


Decluttering - I can empathize with all those who have mentioned they are taking a look around their house and asking "Where did all this stuff come from and do we really need it all?" I have been feeling a bit stressed about this as well - I just have a hard time letting go of anything I have assigned an emotional value to.

Depression - This is something I don't share with many people either, I was diagnosed with depression at 19. In my case it is a chemical imbalance that seems to be genetic. There are quite a few members of my father's family who have this disorder - however most of them do not seek any sort of treatment and try to mask their symptoms with alcohol. And at least five have committed suicide. I will most likely be on this medication for the rest of my life to control the chemical issue.

Having any sort of classified "mental disease" still carries a large social stigma. People will tell strangers they have diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure or that they smoked a joint last weekend. But they will go to great lengths to hide the fact that they might need some help for anxiety, depression, etc.



So - on April 18th I went in to see my doctor for a couple of reasons. One of the main ones was this. I was finally in a mental place to actively stop smoking. Not just for the health reasons - but financial ones as well. There have been days when I could go through an entire pack a day. In the last four months this has averaged out to $230 each month.

So my doctor started me on Chantix which I started on Sunday the 22nd. Then I went away last weekend to Port Clinton, OH for my training sessions with YFU. On Monday I realized that from Friday noon until Sunday bedtime I had smoked 5 cigarettes. QUITE a cut back from the pack a day habit. And I found with several of those smokes that I really didn't want it all that much. In fact several times I only smoked a half then put it out.

I am still struggling with the urges but not nearly as badly as I thought I would. And already I can feel a difference in my breathing, especially when going up the stairs.

Anyone who is so inclined and wants to be one of my "monitors" feel free to ask me how I am doing, if I have smoked, how it's going etc.

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redwagon - May 3, 2012, 3:13pm

Honey - i'm so proud of you! I've heard great things about chantix and I'm so glad it seems to be working for you!! Way to go!!! You could post NSDs on here "No smoking days" hehe. We all support you 100%


constanz22 - May 3, 2012, 4:34pm

Congrats honey on the not smoking!


startsmart - 07 May 2012 at 4:52pm

honey- woo hooo on the not smoking! I'm wondering if you could do a "reset" on your garage/sewing space? Maybe scout out some organization stuff or move about the furniture? Thinking when you're ready it would be nice to air out the room, rearrange a bit and declare it a new "smoke free" zone. Just thinking ahead since I know you're going to get past the worst and be smoke free


mizbear - 07 May 2012 at 5:06pm

Honey- YAY! on the not smoking if I haven't told you yet!


moneysquirrel - 07 May 2012 at 8:35pm

Honey -- I am so glad that you are fighting the smoking habit. Changing up your routine will help on many fronts.


redwagon - 08 May 2012 at 10:15am

honey - yay for not smoking! Stay strong! And I have a few tiny lilac bushes but they probably won't flower for a few years yet. Can't wait! Hope we're still in the house when they do!

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 06 May 2012 at 12:30am


So last night I was garbed in all black and made one of my annual felonious forays into the community .... he he he .... like a crazed ninja I was.

(For those new to us I need a 12-step program. I am ADDICTED to lilacs .. their color, shape and especially aroma. I have several favorite places I "raid" every spring to get my fix.)





Right now my house smells HEAVENLY as I stumbled the other day onto a bonanza spot. It is at the base of a very busy overpass and I did have to cross four lanes of traffic to "harvest" from both sides - but so worth it in my mind. AND I have a batch of lilac sugar infusing as well.

Smoking - So as I am out being a Lilac Burglar last night I swung by 7-11 to pick up some orange juice. I cannot even explain how badly I was craving a smoke and I knew there were no more cigarettes in the house. But I managed to walk out without buying a pack to have around "just in case". When I got home I realized I had missed a dose of the Chantix which might have explained the urges.

De-Cluttering - I think I have been inspired by those of you who have mentioned you have been feeling the same way as I have ... Where you look around and wonder just where all this "stuff" come from. And then start critically looking at things and asking why do I have this? or three of these? Am I ever going to use it again?

So today I cleaned out the closet and hutch in my living room and posted a bunch of things onto FreeCycle including books, duplicates of movies, a bowling ball and a carpet sweeper. Last week I gave away almost three dozen small sized flower pots that I had been holding on to for reasons I can't remember and I had not touched in several years. It feels good to be moving things OUT.

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muttleynfelix - 06 May 2012 at 7:09am

Honey - HUGS to you on the smoking. You did great not buying cigarettes. Thanks for the kudos on savings.


constanz22 - 06 May 2012 at 9:45am

Honey, I love lilacs too! I have a small bush in my yard and just cut a few for a vase this morning!


sbcalimom - 06 May 2012 at 3:50pm

Honey: Good job resisting the urge to buy more smokes AND identifying the likely cause.

Rocky Mtn Saver - 07 May 2012 at 8:08am

Honeylioness: Great job on not picking up a pack!! We have some (legitimately gotten ) lilacs in the house, and they do smell great. I love Spring flower season.

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 07 May 2012 at 12:56am


Thanks to those who gave me such positive feedback on the Board, via telephone and e-mail on this process of quitting smoking. One of the things I am trying during this time is changing my routine and locations. By that I mean - doing more of my computer work in a room other than my office - since currently I am still associating my office with smoking - as it is the only room I allowed myself to smoke in.


Costco - Not sure if I have ever mentioned this before but I love my Costco membership! [image]

Today I made a Costco "run" for the following:

* 1- 12 oz bottle of cinnamon
* 1 -12 oz bottle of granulated garlic
* 3 Gallons of milk
* 25 pound bag of sugar
* 4 pounds of butter
* 176 pounds of cat litter

And all of this for a grand total of $65.50 !! Have I mentioned how much I love my Costco membership?

For all those who like hard numbers (like me) here is the breakdown:

* Cinnamon - $4.24 vs. $17.49 per pound
* Garlic - $3.99 vs. $22.89 per pound
* Milk - $2.35 vs. $3.09 per gallon
* Sugar - $0.57 vs. $0.59 per pound
* Butter - $1.85 vs. $2.99 per pound
* Litter - $7.35 for 44 lb box vs. $8.49 for 20 lb box
OR $0.17 vs. $0.47 per pound


I just wanted to say that I really like having a place where I can share these sorts of nerdy details with people who will understand.

;D

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 21 May 2012 at 9:13pm


My Updates:

Smoking [/u]– So I have not had even one puff for seven days. And since May 1st I have only lit six cigarettes, and most of them I barely smoked half of them before deciding it tasted bad and I put it out. I have had a couple of evenings with some bad cravings – one night I ate an entire container of grape tomatoes, and several other evenings it was a half a bunch of grapes. I am trying to stay away from M&Ms and stick with fruit.

Unemployment – Last week I got a letter from the State that my State funded benefits had “run out”, but if I was still out of work as of December 2012 I can re-apply. Talk about a panic attack. I called the UI office and finally got a hold of a real person this afternoon. Seems that while the State funds are gone I am eligible for the Federal program. So I have been granted an additional 20 weeks. There is the possibility of two additional extensions – but that is dependent upon federal funding.

Dental – The same day I received the notice from the State I had a dentist appointment in the morning. And as gently as they tried to break the news to me – it was still unwelcome. First, it seems I need to have two teeth pulled – both back molars and one of them is a semi-erupted wisdom tooth. Second, my previous dentist did root canals on several teeth and told me there was enough left to accept a crown. However these two new dentists just looked at each other with a strange expression. Not only can I not get crowns on these teeth – the I will probably lose them also. Which really makes me angry because I shelled out a lot of money for each of these root canals – which now is completely wasted. One of the teeth has an exterior cavity which has been there since the root canal, and my new dentists said they would never have made me go through the root canal with the tooth in that condition. So once again I feel like my prior dentist was just out to do whatever made him the most money.


As always I very much appreciate you letting me vent.