August 2011

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 08 August 2011 at 1:38pm


My goal this month is 25 CS days and 28 NEO.


I apologize in advance for this long rambling and geeky post.


Well, I FINALLY have the first confirmed date and flight information for one of my girls this year - August 24th around noon time I will be at the airport picking up the girl from Ecuador. YIKES .... time to be "mom" again, where has the summer gone?

I had a mini-startsmart weekend, and while I am tired today I am glad I got these things done:

* Cleaned out, washed and re-filled both cat boxes
* Washed front hall floor
* Scrubbed laundry room floor
* Did laundry (A necessity when you realize you are all out of undies!)
* Ironed at least seven tablecloths, about a dozen shirts, various other linens, skirts, pants and at least one dress
* Picked 15 pounds of blueberries. Froze two cookie sheets worth, prepped the rest for jam or syrup next month.
* Went to the Farmer's Market. Got several bunches of basil (made pesto and dried some), Fennel (dried the fronds for later, saving stalks for seafood stock) and 8-10 pounds of tomatoes.
* Made and canned five quarts of tomato sauce
* Did a quick cleaning of the kitchen

So here is the thing about the tomatoes. There is this older man who runs a small farm about 20 miles away and he travels around to most of the farmer's markets in various cities. So last year he and I were talking about how too many people expect their produce to look picture perfect when in reality things split, grow odd shapes and don't look like the magazines say they should.

Out of that we came to a deal. I go see him every other week. He keeps a box in the refrigerated section of his produce truck to toss in less than ideal tomatoes. The ones that have a split, or are getting too soft on one side, or have brown spots, or someone put their thumb through pressing too hard. They are usually destined for his compost heap. Instead, he saves them for me - and inevitably also throws in three or four of the "nicer" ones after he has weighed the others. I get for them $1.50/lb - which is a steal considering most vendors sell the big tomatoes for $2 each. So I take them home and make sauce.

Sometimes I will go just as they are closing on Saturday in the town next door and make an offer for some of the sadder looking produce. I know they will not have another market for at least three days, these items won't last that long and they have to pick fresh anyway. So rather then have it dumped into compost - they can make a bit off what would not have sold otherwise.

I have snagged some good deals in the past this way on herbs, pickling cukes, chard and green beans.



dakota - I don't have a dehydrator, though I have considered it in the past. I dry things either in the oven or by hanging. This weekend it was fresh basil and fennel from the weekly Farmer's Market.

When storing dried items the thing to keep in mind is trying to keep moisture out of the finished items. Some people use a vacuum sealer for large quantities of dried fruits, placing them into small servicing. However I have used canning jars for years with no issues.

In my pantry are jars with dried herbs, tomatoes, peppers, roasted leeks, grains and other seasonings. You can buy them new in most grocery stores or at Walmart - especially at this time of year they are easier to locate. I use new and vintage/recycled ones. I often get them really cheap by the box at church and rummage sales.

Just be sure you clean them well before use, and for your purposes that they are completely dry. Also use NEW rubber rings or jar lids - not used ones.

Properly stored in a dark cabinet - not atop upper cabinets or in a window - most items should last a year or more. Herbs can loose some of their flavor after a while - I just use more.

And just to add one more geeky tip - now is the time of year you start to see fresh basil in the farmer's markets for very reasonable prices. If you like pesto here is a way to have it all year:

Make a big batch of pesto - there are recipes online - then pour the sauce into ice cube trays and freeze. Once they are completely hardened, pop them out into freezer bags, or layer them in a plastic container with waxed paper.

They will keep for up to two years, and when you want pesto for a quick pasta dinner, or to add to a soup, you just grab one or a few "cubes". The heat of the soup or pasta will melt them quickly, or you can microwave them for a minute or two.



Child Development - I feel as though I should preface this section with a disclaimer: No, I have not had biological children of my own, nor have a raised an infant or toddler full time. Having said that I do have a question for the group.

I understand the concept of keeping track of a child's development milestones - such as first words, steps, spatial awareness, gross and fine motor skills. However, and this is where I brace myself for the "feed back" - does anyone else think this often gets out of control?

One of my nieces is in the 98% range for height, but only the 40% range for weight. She is a long tall drink of water to be sure who eats like a horse and prefers grains, vegetables and fruit over meats. She is also in the top 3% of her class so I don't think it is hurting her mental skills at all. But someone in her pediatricians office made a comment that if she didn't put on more weight they might have to report it to Child Welfare to make sure she is not being neglected.

HUH?

A woman in my office took her 2 year old in for a check up. And because the little girl did not speak the maximum number of words the "guides" said she should - the mom now has the kid in speech therapy AND working with a child psychologist to offset the toddler's potential negative self image about her lack of verbal skills.

*Bangs my head on my desk until it is bloody*

This just makes me NUTS. Each kid develops at his own pace. YES you should be alert for potential serious learning challenges or symptoms of an underlying medical condition. But really folks - putting pressure on a TWO YEAR OLD because she has to speak more words because the book says so? What is this doing to a lot of our kids? What does it tell a child at a deep level that they are not "performing" as they should at age 2, 3 or 4? Some kids never crawl and go straight to walking, some don't speak more than 10 words at a time until they hit kindergarten, then you can't shut them up. Some have limited spatial ability (that's me with my astigmatism) and others have no sense of time. Isn't it more important that our kids learn how to deal with others, have manners, be respectful, learn how to trust and love and fail?

What ever happened to failing? And the idea that it's okay you didn't get a ribbon or trophy. Aren't we doing a disservice to them but thinking all they have to do is "show up" to win? Trust me, I don't get a paycheck just for "showing up". I think you learn more about yourself and how to try harder and stay self motivated if you DO fail at things. You learn that it's okay that you will never play tennis or golf because of your depth perception or lack there of (that's me - I can field but put anything between my hand and the object and I am swinging at nothin').


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azmom - 08 August 2011 at 4:22pm

What ever happened to failing? And the idea that it's okay you didn't get a ribbon or trophy. Aren't we doing a disservice to them but thinking all they have to do is "show up" to win? Trust me, I don't get a paycheck just for "showing up". I think you learn more about yourself and how to try harder and stay self motivated if you DO fail at things. You learn that it's okay that you will never play tennis or golf because of your depth perception or lack there of (that's me - I can field but put anything between my hand and the object and I am swinging at nothin').

AMEN!

Honey: Don't even get me started on this everyone wins business...As always, you have said more eloquently than I ever could. The greatest gift life has given me is the lessons I have learned from my failures!

In our house it is a given that life is NOT fair, you will make mistakes, and you will most certainly not always win! Of course we are also a bit competitive and believe the only reason you play the game is to win, having fun is simply a bonus Okay, Okay I do also teach them about personally victories.


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mittenkitten - 08 August 2011 at 7:45pm

Honey:[/b] I can't tell you how many times I have had to fill out all that info for DS#2. Speech delays and problems can be fixed so much easier when the children are young I do understand that. However counceling? Really, get real people. Many kids who have problems with speech can be speaking normally by Kindergarten.

I do agree that not everyone should be able to make a team or have to have everything. Seen it often and I think failing or not making things can either lead people in new directions that work better for then or motivate them to be even better. Sometimes you just have to shake your head at what the world has become.

Now can the stock markets quit plunging, I am starting to get seasick!


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startsmart - Aug 9, 2011, 11:13am

Paid for showing up: as much as I would hate to agree, people in my own field do just that. And yes, it drives everyone crazy but that's nepotism.

Personally, I'd rather see a dual method of grading: effort and results.

If you naturally excel in a subject and don't put in effort to do the work: D for effort, A for results and you get a C-

If you don't have aptitude for a subject but work really hard:
A for effort, C for results and you get a B-

If you naturally excel and work hard to push yourself to do more:
A for effort, A for results and you get A+ (or some new grading level)

If you don't have aptitude and you don't try to understand it:
D for effort, D for results and you fail.

As someone involved in hiring I would love to see THOSE grades. I want to know if someone has skills or not and if they work hard. Attitude and work ethic are really important when you don't understand something or to see how people work with challenges.

[Honeylioness]

Topic: Mental - Physical - Financial Clutter

mizbear - 09 August 2011 at 7:07pm


Do you find that your mental, physical and financial clutter are connected?

Which do you feel you have to clear first to work on the next or are they interconnected so much that you must work on them all at once?

I ask this because I am trying to streamline everything while I declutter and find all the leaks and leeches in my budget. I am a list-maker and sometimes look at the list and want to run off screaming.

I had my goals posted on the fridge, but I decided it wasn't everyone who got a scoop of ice cream's business how close I was to my savings goals, etc.

Suggestions??


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mizbear - I think with me it's a distraction- kind of like a kid with more toys... but it's also one more thing I look at and day- ugh, I have XYZ to do. DM and DB are not bothered by clutter, therefore I can not bounce this question off of them.


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midwesternjd - 09 August 2011 at 8:06pm


Oh, definitely. I have a touch of ADD so trying to tackle them all at once is overwhelming... I usually try to concentrate on what I have the most immediate control over (usually physical clutter) and then make lists for the rest.

A few things that have helped are really breaking down the list tasks step by step - instead of "clean out closet", "remove clothes, sort clothes into keep/trash/mend/Goodwill piles, organize by style," etc. It makes you feel much more accomplished when you cross off 3 things instead of 1 ;D I also try to set at least one realistic goal I can accomplish that day, even if it's just a small one (like having a NSD).

Can you keep your list of goals in your wallet, underwear drawer, or somewhere else you look at fairly frequently but isn't public?


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yogiii - 10 August 2011 at 5:54am


Yes - seeing something that is messy or disorganized stresses me out (if it's in my house). We've been undertaking some pretty big tasks this summer, like cleaning/organizing the basement and garage. I've also found that making a list with very specific tasks helps and crossing them off feels good. I'll admit, sometimes part of cleaning the garage involves "throw that box upstairs" but we're working from the bottom up . I hope to clean the upstairs this winter. On the plus side, after about 2 months of work the garage and basement are done and look fabulous. It's a good feeling.


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Wisconsin Beth - 10 August 2011 at 8:22am

I'm with yogii, the clutter stresses me out. I literally walk into the house and feel myself tensing up. I know clutter can be a stressor for people. And the worse the mess gets, the worse my stress gets. And right now, running the house is pretty much falling onto me and I can't do it all. [image] DH doesnt' really notice the mess although it does stress him out too. He's so very focused on the current diet/detoxing and researching stuff for it. I don't think he realizes just how much stuff I do around the house/with the kids. I leave for training in about 5 weeks and it's all going to fall on him for 5 days.

Anyway, if I start writing about my home life, there's going to be a novel here. So I'll stop now.


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cheapcat - 10 August 2011 at 8:43am


Physical clutter seems to make the mental & financial clutter worse. If the house is relatively clean and neat it's easier to sit down & straighten out the financial issues. I try to take care of mail or problems that come in the mail as soon as possible.

For example, on Monday we received the new oil company budget payment and it was $120 a month for the year when it was only $78 a month last year, plus we still had a credit of $320! I called right away Tuesday, they took the credit balance from last year into account and the new budget payment is $75, woo hoo! They give a $.10 credit per gallon if the budget payment is received by the 15th of the month, so I wanted to get it corrected asap.

It's much easier to deal with financial stuff when it comes in & filing the paperwork right away instead of letting a pile of mail or whatever build up. When DH says to do it later, I tell him we won't want to do it then either.


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sbcalimom - 10 August 2011 at 9:45am

I have a similar issue as Beth that DH doesn't even notice the clutter/disaster area that our apartment often becomes. We have too much stuff and too many people in our little 2bd apartment so it is a recipe for disaster. Right now I'm on maternity leave and still recovering so I really have let things go more than normal but I still try to tackle one project a day. It can be really stressful think about all the things I need to do so I just focus on one task at a time.

As far as financial clutter, I have a set process I go through for basic budgeting. I have our annual budget goals and then each month I project what I'll pay with each check that is coming in. I typically only do about 1 month out so I can account for the irregular stuff or extra amounts that I know are coming up. I also keep my list on my computer since I'm on it every day. I look at it at least 3-4x a week so even though there isn't a physical copy, it is pretty visible.


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mizbear - 10 August at 9:59am

I was beginning to think maybe it was just me.

I will admit I am a little anal, I have OCD, but I like to have everything in it's place so I can just come in from laundry, the store, wherever and put stuff where it goes. I feel like I spend more when there is clutter (for instance, I get more stressed and instead of being a treat, that SB becomes a necessity).

DM doesn't mind clutter or messes for that matter... she wonders why I have told her she can't move in...

There is not enough medication in the world...

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cheapcat - Aug 10, 2011, 6:52pm

It's definitely not just you! It's easier to have a place for everything and to know where to look for things. I used to lose my keys all the time because I would just put them down anyplace. Now they're always clipped to a ring on whatever bag I'm using & the bag is always put down on the same chair. I hated running around looking for my keys when it was time to go. I do not miss that stress.

Our pets help keep the house clutter free as the dogs will destroy anything left within their reach, from paper to shoes to clothes. One of the cats will chew paper, half a newspaper page once disappeared overnight. We can't leave anything out, except for dog bones & toys - the few that last more than 15 minutes.

I know what you mean about the DM & GM, my parents are both borderline hoarders. I tell them that they better live to be 100 because I don't want to deal with all their stuff anytime soon. The inside of the house is jammed wall to wall with yardsale finds, 2nd hand furniture & antiques. It's nice stuff, but way too much of it. We were freaking out when my Mom was sick earlier in the year because there is no way a walker or wheelchair could get through most of the house. Luckily she did much better than expected, but we're screwed in a few years.

The cellar, garage, barn & sheds are jammed full of tools, tractor parts and a lot of rusty crap that Dad thinks is useful. He has so much stuff that he often can't find what he wants when he actually needs it. It is a huge PITA to have to move a pile of heavy, rusty parts out of the way when he needs to fix something. Sometimes the thing he's looking for isn't even in as good a condition as he remembers, like when he wanted to put a "new" spring on the screen door and the whole pile of them was rusted into a solid, unusable lump. He was blaming me for throwing them out because it took him so long to find them.

It's annoying that the garage is so full of crap that the new tractor & the other working tractors are outside under tarps while piles of junk he never uses are safe under the roof. Wooden garden carts, picnic benches & outdoor furniture fall apart & rot because they're left outside all winter. Dad thinks he's saving stuff he'll need later, which hasn't been touched in literally 20 years, but then has to buy replacements of things he uses regularly because they're left out & ruined.

Sorry, didn't mean to turn that into a therapy session!


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mizbear - Aug 10, 2011, 10:07pm

cheapcat- That's okay! I always think that I am the only person who has a family like that.

I was able to start getting rid of a lot of my personal clutter when I realized that there is no one in my life anymore who can destroy everything I have and therefore there is no need to keep everything- although there are things I wish I had- school awards, my first crush's obit, etc. My father actually kicked my Barbie camper to shreds- so I kept the interior pieces and built a Barbie apt out of duct tape, Super Glue and wine boxes.

After my grandfather died and my DM and DGM both started getting sick, my aunt and uncles started chiming in on the clutter at DGMs- they were willing to help, but not if it meant that they were going to have to keep coming back in and re-doing the declutter. Of course then DB moved back with all his clutter, kicked DM out of her bedroom and the reno got started...

I don't ask for DBs help bringing stuff to my apartment anymore- he brings it up 30 boxes at a time and plants them in my living room.

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Pink Cashmere - Aug 10, 2011, 11:38pm [/b[

Aug 9, 2011, 7:07pm, mizbear wrote: Do you find that your mental, physical and financial clutter are connected? Which do you feel you have to clear first to work on the next or are they interconnected so much that you must work on them all at once?

I think they definitely can be related. If you're mentally overwhelmed, it can be difficult to keep other areas under control. If you're overwhelmed by your physical surroundings, it can have a negative impact on you mentally/emotionally. If you're overwhelmed by your financial situation, it can affect you mentally and you may be less likely to stay on top of things around your home.

When I was at my low point, I couldn't address any one area without addressing another. I went round and round in circles, not knowing where to start. I had to deal with mountains of mail before I could deal with the money situation. I had to deal with the money situation before I could figure out how to address some critical problems with my house that were stressing me out. I had to get in a better place mentally before I could try to get my house back in some kind of order; I'd let things go because I didn't want to deal with it, but the chaos created stress too.

When all that stress started to affect my physical health, I started taking little steps, just enough to get me to the next step. As things started to come together, I gained momentum. Three years later, I'm in a much better place mentally and financially. My home is still a work in progress, but I no longer worry about it burning down, caving in, or harboring mold, it's a lot cleaner, has a lot less junk in it, and everything works except for the dishwasher I still haven't replaced, so it's better too.

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Wisconsin Beth - Aug 11, 2011, 7:34am

God. Pink. Add in 2 toddlers and a DH with health/diet issues and you've got me.

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midwesternjd - Aug 11, 2011, 7:44am

It is good to feel like I'm not alone

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mizbear - Aug 11, 2011, 9:53am

I am in the process of writing a long term decluttering plan right now.

It will cover all of the areas- including destressing.

I will put it up this weekend for everyoe to take a gander at. It's pretty extensive right now sonce we are still working at DGMs house.


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Pink Cashmere - Aug 11, 2011, 10:35am

Beth, instead of 2 toddlers, I had 2 teenagers at the time. One of whom was intent on giving me hell.

Contant, long term stress can literally make you sick. I hope you get some things worked out soon.


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Wisconsin Beth - Aug 11, 2011, 10:54am

We're working on some of it. DH is about to start a make-or-break diet change. We'll know somewhere between Halloween and Christmas if it's working or not.


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stanthedevil - Aug 11, 2011, 11:52am

Over the last couple of months, I've come to the realization that all three are strongly interconnected and interwoven and where one goes, the others soon follow.

A little over a year ago, I hit as close to the bottom as I ever hope in all three areas. My mom passed away unexpectedly (She had been battling cancer for almost 10 years, but four days before she died, she was out to lunch with her sisters and in relatively good health.) I had been restructured out of a full time job and taken a part time dream job but was using credit cards to cover the gaps. Physically, I was falling apart at the seams. I was putting on weight like it was my job and as a consequence of poor health habits and mental and financial stress, I was constantly tired and run down. And, because I was tired all the time, my apartment descended into cluttered chaos. I've never been claustrophobic, but suddenly I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

But now, the part time dream job turned into a full time dream job (with benefits!) and my financial picture is much rosier (though the mountain of debt feels awfully heavy some days). This summer I've sorted, organized, tossed out, and decluttered most of my apartment. I also have been eating better and losing weight. I have energy to cook and my kitchen is so neat and organized that cooking is fun again.

I'm glad I realized that health as a big picture involves maintaining healthy habits in all areas of my life -- physical, mental, and financial.



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Wisconsin Beth - Aug 11, 2011, 1:09pm

Good for you stan. and you're welcome to the WIR Losers for support in losing weight.

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mizbear - Aug 11, 2011, 6:04pm

Yes- Join us, we are losing weight and decluttering!

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Wisconsin Beth - Aug 15, 2011, 2:05pm

I posted some of this on the decluttering thread but thought I add it here too. On Thursday night, I broke down and started crying to DH about the mess the house is, money worries, parenting, etc. I was trying to recap this thread and in particular Pink's post #10 while crying (that didn't work so well) but DH basically said he's on board with a 15-30 minute nightly clean.

And I'm resisting the urge to vent about why did it have to get to this point anyway.

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yogiii - Aug 15, 2011, 2:19pm

Beth - I've had some of those thoughts as well. Sometimes it seems lately that DH and I have to almost yell at each other to get it through that something is serious and bothers one of us. It's not like we're even sitting there and fighting about it, it's just that we need to act that way to invoke an appropriate reaction from the other person. I honestly think it is since having a kid. We're just so pre-occupied with different things that we feel we need to get upset in order to be heard. I think now that we've realized this we're both going to put in some extra effort to listen to each other more.


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mizbear - Aug 15, 2011, 7:58pm

That's how it's been with DM my whole life- clutter and messes don't seem to bother her- but it drives me nuts- and we essentially were raised by the same people because my grandparents always had me every time she and my father goofed up.

I am trying to clear my mental clutter this week. I am not getting much done with this boot on- so I am taking advantage.

The master list is still being revamped.


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Wisconsin Beth - Aug 16, 2011, 12:26pm

Aug 15, 2011, 2:19pm, yogiii wrote: Beth - I've had some of those thoughts as well. Sometimes it seems lately that DH and I have to almost yell at each other to get it through that something is serious and bothers one of us. It's not like we're even sitting there and fighting about it, it's just that we need to act that way to invoke an appropriate reaction from the other person. I honestly think it is since having a kid. We're just so pre-occupied with different things that we feel we need to get upset in order to be heard. I think now that we've realized this we're both going to put in some extra effort to listen to each other more.

Yeah, we thought we had decent communication skills. Nope, not once the kids came along.


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weezybear - Sept 1, 2011, 12:15pm

I have bipolar disease and when I go manic ( like flying like a kiteHigh) I end up cleaning the house top to bottom and getting rid of all the stuff thats been crammed in closets and under the beds. It happens quite often so I have a clean house about 5 times a year (Really clean).


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mizbear - Sept 1, 2011, 12:24pm

WEEZYBEAR!!!!!! (mizbear runs across the board, jumps and tackles weezybear in a huge hug)
I miss you! [image]

Yes, I can relate- I have bipolar bear syndrome at my place too. I am getting ready to do a big clean out right now. And I feel like I just did one...


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weezybear - 08 Sept 2011 at 10:29am

I've been manic since friday and everything is going out of the house. I started with christmas decrations. I have 7 large garbage bags o new decorations I have bought when I wouked at a department store (don't work there any more) and I started on the sewing stugg my Aunt gave me, I got 6 garbage bags from there. I went to the back closetan got 4 garbage bags from ther and another 6 bags from other places. I'm living in a house of garbage bags right now until I get them to the charities in the city.
I hope the mainia will slow down soon.


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mizbear - 08 Sept 2011 at 10:40am

One thing that irks me is when someone else walks into my clutter and judges it. DB has trash (empty food containers, dirty dishes, etc) in the bedroom-that-he-kicked-DM-out-of-to-make-his, but comes into my apartment and expects it to look like June Cleaver lives here. His kids have put a rip in my less than a year old leather couch- but that's not important. I havepapers pulled out to refile, purge and shred- but it doesn't matter. I was loading, unloading and emptying the dishwasher while cooking my dinner- he didn't care.

I think the next time he needs my computer I might remind him that I gave him one for free- since he's too cheap to pay his child support he should have plenty of money for dial up!

Sorry for ranting...My brain is cluttered at the moment.

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Wisconsin Beth - 08 Sept 2011 at 11:35am

It's ok Bear. Rant away to us as it beats clobbering your brother over the head with the dishes...

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - Aug 17, 2011, 12:51pm

kcgal [/b]- *Raises my hand* .... LOL, are you "SHOCKED" that I would tell you that Yes - I have put down my own wood floors?? Actually I have removed the carpeting from my entire townhouse one room and stairwell at a time. I re-finished the stair treads and put down laminate parquet flooring in all but one room. Actually three - I did tile in one bathroom and vinyl flooring in another bathroom and the kitchen.

Mine came in 12x12 inch "tiles" instead of long planks. They snapped together to lock and I did add some mastic to the subfloor to keep them in place. I did my dining room and hallway from carpet rip out to finished during a three day weekend several years ago.

And can I ask why you would need to stain NEW baseboards? Are there no boards there currently? ... just trying to visualize the problem.

How old is your house - perhaps there is already a wood floor under the carpeting - have you checked?

Inquiring, and geeky girl, minds want to know.


p.s. - Another option is to not carpet or do a new wooden flooring - but to paint. I did that in the girls' room. They discontinued the flooring I used in the rest of the condo and I did not have the money for carpet. So I ripped out the old icky carpeting, padding and tack strips. Then carefully went over the entire floor pulling staples and hammering down any raised nail heads.

I then used a low number sandpaper to roughly sand down any really noticeable knots or snags in the plywood subfloor. Swept it well then painted it. I used Exterior Grade Porch and Deck paint. It is longer wearing and made to stand up to shoes and such. I put the first coat on rather heavy to soak into the wood and fill up any ridges in the plywood - then left it dry overnight. The second coat went on more smoothly and I have a rather country looking room with a floor that will stand up to the wear and tear of two teenagers for several years until I decide on either a different type of flooring or re-consider carpeting.

During the winter I have a nice area rug we put down to warm the room.



startsmart - ICK, you poor thing. I had a similar problem with a fridge when I was looking at my condo.

(It had been unplugged, put downstairs and not cleaned out properly first - it REEKED of spoiled raw chicken and the bowl of ammonia someone had put inside the day before to mask the dead chicken smell. EPIC fail!! Fortunately the previous owner had it hauled away and dumped as part of the deal.)

Anyway, taking into account what someone else mentioned - that if there are open seams on the inside of the fridge then mold spores may have already colonized there .... let's start with the best case scenario. The mold was not coating every inch of the interior and was confined mostly to the contents and maybe a shelf of two.

If it were me I would do the following:

1) Since after being moved and probably placed on it's back or side you will need to wait a day (I prefer two) to let the coolant re-settle I would take the time while the item is down (or have someone tilt it for me) to clean the UNDERSIDE. That is where most of the motors are located and the cooling fan. Vacuum these off or use a can of condensed air to blow dust etc out of the motor casing and fan areas.

2) First tape a small zip lock bag over the light bulb socket inside. Tip the unit back upright, prop open the doors and using a spray bottle soak the inside with a mix of 2:1 bleach and water ... really spray until it drips off the shelves and runs to collect in the bottom. Don't forget the "ceiling" of the compartment as well.

Find a way to keep the door propped open a bit to let it air out and be sure the puppies don't get into the bleach.

3) After a day you can use a garden hose to rinse out the inside of the fridge. Don't try to get a power wash blast, just use it to thoroughly rinse off all the bleach... being sure to NOT spray through the bottom grill onto the motor. You can cover this area with plastic if you are concerned.

4) I would then sprinkle baking soda all over the interior or generously onto a moist sponge and use it like Comet to scrub the interior well ... consider using a tooth brush for small cracks and crevices. Rinse the interior again and let it sit open until dry.

5) Once the interior is dry spray it down again with a 2:1 mixture of white vinegar and water. Let the interior air dry. Repeat.


If this doesn't help, then I am afraid you will just need to arrange for a trash pick up for the refrigerator and go buy one.

****************************************************

[Honeylioness]

moneysquirrel - Aug 25, 2011, 7:16pm

Ladies on the East Coast: Please be safe with the coming of Irene. Some tips:

* 1. Get some cash. ATMs do not work when there is no electricity. Also some stores will be open on a cash only basis if they are open at all.
* 2. Fill up with gas now. Lines will get long and supplies will become low.
* 3. Stock up on water, ice and items that do not have to be on ice.
* 4. Pack in advance all important documents. Protect pictures especially those that cannot be replaced.
* 5. Have canned goods and a manual can opener.
* 6. While you have power -- cook a few basics --- boil eggs, bake snacks, etc.
* 7. If you have a few days before landfall use them to consume items in your fridge.
* 8. Pack a variety of clothes. (The usual recommandation is 3 days. I would pack a little more.)
* 9. If you have pets don't forget their food and other items.
* 10. Also phones will usually not work. Text messages usually do better during times like this.
* 11. Let someone on the thread know that you are safe once everything is over. We worry about our friends.
* 12. This is the most important. Leave town if you are in the direct path as soon as you can. Those traffic jams are stressful and you do not want to be on the road as this thing comes in.

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - 29 August 2011 at 11:34am


Storm Update - Myself and my household are fine. There are a few downed trees in my neighborhood but we only lost power for brief spurts after the rains ceased. Our biggest issue, being on the East side of the eye was the wind. Not to say that the 7" of rain didn't make for a rather nasty day.

I had a small section of roofing that I had been waiting for the roofer to come and deal with for the last two weeks - as it is causing issues in the ceiling of the room below .. but of course he wasn't able to see to it before the storm. So Saturday evening found me nailing down a tarp to try and block some of the rain from getting inside. Not the prettiest job I have ever done but it worked.

THAT was fun ... NOT!!!

On a funny note I did think it was quite the introduction to the United States for my two new exchange students who arrived last week (one from Finland, one from Ecuador) .... "Welcome to the US ... that shaking? Oh just a mild earthquake .. and don't worry about all that wind and rain - just a baby hurricane".

The odd thing is that while we only had the power sputter a few times, just four blocks away they have been without since Sunday morning and may not get it back until tomorrow.

startsmart - LOL, thanks for that visual about what type of men women are attracted to. I needed that chuckle. Glad to hear Wilson is doing better.

Sorry to hear about the main client. Is this the woman with the drama queen boyfriend?

3cats - Sorry to hear about the money hit for your car. Still, if you can drive it another 5-6 years then perhaps considering it an "investment" might help. As for the dogs - it sounds as though both would benefit from being better socialized - actually it sounds as though the smaller one has not been socialized at all.

You have been on my mind a lot lately, and yes, I have been worried about you. Send me a note off-board if you would like to talk ([e-mail]) ... I have been getting the feeling that you are feeling blue and perhaps isolated again.


Under the heading of "Getting Things Off My Chest" - Whether anyone noticed, or cared, yes - I have not been as active on the board as I have in the past. There are two primary reasons for this.

The first is that I am not doing well financially for a variety of reasons - and either because I have been feeling ashamed, or guilty or just as though I have nothing to offer that has any veracity when I am feeling this close to the edge - I elected to say nothing at all. Or at least very little.

Secondly, I have been bothered for several months about some trends and dynamics I have seen. I know that change is inevitable in life: Life situations, jobs and relationships can change in the blink of an eye - others evolve more gradually.

I will be the first person to admit that I don't really like change - especially when it effects me personally. However given time and the space to process I usually adjust in the end. But I have been feeling this is not so much about "change" itself, but things said, or not said, that at first puzzled me, but have now become for me a major issue.

I understand that certain days generate a lot of posts and information, and some may feel overwhelmed by the volume. But I cannot say that quantity alone can account for one of my concerns. I have felt for several months now that some posters are either inadvertently overlooked or just outright ignored. I have seen newcomers, recent members and even long time posters receive NO acknowledgment of their presence - never mind their situation or request for information. Yet others seem to receive waves of responses and suggestions.

On a personal level this offends my deeply ingrained sense of fairness. I also empathize with why none of these posters would ever say anything - it would probably strike them as being needy, attention hounding and perhaps borderline desperate. This is becoming such a "thing" for me that I have found myself not only avoiding the boards and the NS/CS threads specifically - but seriously considered whether I should even continue to try and participate at all anymore. But before I took such a step I knew I had to pull back, observe, mull over and come to a place where I could express my feelings in a more rational manner.

I am still a bit on the fence as to what ultimately I will choose as best for me ... I just thought it was important to let people know what has been going on as I have found in the past that more than one person is usually feeling the same way - but no one has wanted to be the one to stand up and say anything.



**************************************************



singlemomky - 29 Aug 2011 at 1:35pm

Honey -[/b] I gave you Karma just b/c you are you and for the eloquent way you express yourself!


mrslynch - 29 Aug 2011 at 1:45pm

honey[/b]--i agree with you on so many levels, particularly as someone who feels that her presence or absence does not make a difference. thank you for saying what i have been thinking!


azmom - 29 Aug 2011 at 2:11pm

Honey: [/b]I feel like I do barge in and get more than normal responses to my everyday questions (like cooking) and I appreciate every single one of those responses. I feel like I also try and give it back but have been super busy lately. It seems as if the original structure for the NS Thread has all but gone away. There used to be weekly updates, Questions of the Week and Challenges to allow us to stay on topic AND a get off topic at the same time. I've noticed it before we made the move from MSN and I even mentioned it a time or two. I think it is important for newbies to be acknowledged and given the same support that was given to me when I first joined. I know everybody is super busy but I think without that structure of bringing us all to a level playing field every week we get what we have now. Not sure if that makes sense but I think you are right in your observation and for feeling the way you do.


sheilaincali - 29 Aug 2011 at 2:23pm

Honey: as my 2nd post of the month I would like to say a resounding "AMEN!" Thank you for saying exactly what I have been feeling lately.


gin1984 - 29 Aug 2011 at 3:08pm

The funny part made me laugh, thanks.

I am saddened by " I have felt for several months now that some posters are either inadvertently overlooked or just outright ignored.". I'm on here on and off and don't really talk much so maybe I missed it, but the idea of us loosing our community upsets me. I come here because of that community. I would like to see what we can do to fix this, if we all agree, it is a problem and it is seems like many are agreeing it is a problem.

I do not have much time with school so I can't take on weekly challenges but maybe if a group of us could share them I could help. Maybe get 4 people who each do a challenge once a month?


midwesternjd - 29 Aug 2011 at 3:10pm

also, honey--i agree with you on so many levels, particularly as someone who feels that her presence or absence does not make a difference. thank you for saying what i have been thinking!

Same here, though I will admit I am new to this.

Karma to HL for saying it so well!


startsmart - 29 Aug 2011 at 3:30pm

honey-[/b] you are always welcome to share, I know the feeling of wanting to wait it out and observe before saying anything but I always appreciate your insight.

There used to be weekly updates, Questions of the Week and Challenges to allow us to stay on topic AND a get off topic at the same time

I agree we used to have more structure but all of that depends on volunteers. Sharing isn't around now, nitza and red2black and others I know I'm forgetting right now are not participating. Mittenkitten has done so much over the years, I remember her posting while in labor with her DD!

So if the group collectively wants more structure then the group as a whole needs to step up and support the process.


mizbear - 29 Aug 2011 at 3:32pm

I am sorry if I appear to be ignoring anyone or talking more to one person than another. I will admit I have been sort of wrapped up in my own things here and generally skim things and shoot a quick reply and update.

I would definitely like to see the challenges come back.

May I offer one up for the rest of the month??

How does being a good steward with your finances trickle over into other areas of your life? (Yes, it's a thinking challenge)


moneysquirrel - 29 Aug at 5:49pm

Honey[/b] -- Thanks for checking in. Also I, for one, would miss you if you left the board. I love your wit, your knowledge, and your wide range of interests. How are the girls adjusting this year? I know you have had new challenges this year's daughters especially with the activities of Mother Nature.



Mrslynch -- Thanks for checking in as well.

All -- I know that I don't post as often as some. Part of that is my personality. Those of you who have met me know that I am a fairly quiet person (until I get to know you better). Also when I started here I was only working part time teaching a handful of students. I have switched jobs a few years ago. I am now working full time with over 300 students. That translates into many emails from parents, students as well as the usual ones that are routine for any educational institution. Therefore, while I try to keep up with reading on a regular basis I do not post as often. That said I do miss the ones who are no longer here. I really do miss the give and take we used to have. We shared our ups and downs, we cheered each other on and justed listened when it was needed.


spruby - 29 Aug 2011 at 6:42pm

honey[/b] - thanks for saying that


mizbear - 29 Aug 2011 at 7:12pm

Honey[/b]- I second money - I would miss you very much.


reeneejune - 29 Aug 2011 at 7:16pm

Honey [/b]- Thank you for expressing yourself so well. I hope I haven't been one of the ones ignoring anyone or displaying attention hogging behavior. I read your post this morning and took some time to think about it today.

Suggestions:

I agree that we've lost much of the structure over the past few months in particular, but it's been a gradual change over time as well. I'd like to make a few suggestions to help ensure that we retain the kind of community here that drew so many of us in the first place.

- Rotating "captains" who take responsibility for tracking everyone each week, sending shout-outs to everyone that posts, and welcoming new members. These volunteers would commit to spending a few minutes each day to reading the posts and making sure that everyone is kept engaged in the discussion. They'd also be responsible for coming up with a question of the week and challenge of the week for that week. The more volunteers we have, the less of a burden it would be on each individual volunteer.

- Have a small group of people who would be willing to keep track of contact info for our regular members and touch base with anyone who hasn't posted in a while. This group might also assume responsibility for birthdays and other landmarks.

I'd be willing to volunteer for either group, and I'd also be willing to help organize the rotation if the group would like to try it. I think it's important for us to get back to tracking and posting updates on a more regular basis. We all know that the most important part of controlling spending is being aware.



kcgal - 29 Aug 2011 at 8:18pm

Honey-[/b]if you don't stay with this site I am never going to learn to cook. SES is a great cook but I didn't get that skill. I have to work at it. You have great tips.

I love hear what you are doing with the girls.

There are times in our life when we all have $$ challenges and that is not the time to think about moving on. It's the time for your friends to circle in.


mittenkitten - 29 Aug 2011 at 8:18pm

Honey:[/b] you would be missed so I hope you stay. I love your help with come backs and research. You always word everything so eloquently. I am much more in your face and appreciate your restraint.

I do think the weekly challenges and questions helped each other and to let the new members what is so helpful about this thread. I just can't commit to doing them. I think it also gives everyone something relevant to talk about including the new people when they don't necessarily know everyone here.


muttleynfelix - 29 Aug 2011 at 9:47pm

Can I just say that even if you don't think you are missed, you are. Mrsl, I miss hearing about your dd when you are gone. Honey, you are full of useful of information and I do miss you when you are gone. Sheila, I enjoy your posts. And for those lurking, I miss barb, glnd, bonbon, mrsb,and others.

I'm posting from my phone so I'm going to be gone.



dakota4600 - Reply #441 Today at 8:45am

Honey/MrsL[/b]- I agree there have been some changes, we have lost some of our more active and welcoming members in the last year. I like Renee's suggestion for a rotating group to make sure everyone gets acknowledged and to manage updates and challenges. It would take me out of my lurker comfort zone, but I'd be willing to do as long as it was a week at a time.


redwagon - 30 Aug 2011 at 9:21am

I'm glad to see others are okay as well, if a bit shaken up. I haven't had a chance to catch up totally, as I am a bit behind at work after being out yesterday, but I did see Honey's post. I do agree we could use a bit more focus on here, and I for one need to be better about checking in, reading up on everyone, and making sure to give back as much as I get. It's hard when I only get on maybe once a week (unless it's very slow at work). I also need to track my spending better, especially as we deal with cleaning up from this storm. So thank you Honey, for being so eloquent and stating what many here seem to feel. Perhaps we b*tch about our days too much, without giving or coming up with solutions.


3catslady - 30 Aug 2011 at 9:48am

I had a 1000 word reply to everything that was said yesterday and when I went to post it, my computer froze.

I just got called in to work 2 hours earlier so I will make this short.
Honey: Thanks for voicing what I have been feeling for the past 2-3 months. I have been is a tailspin for the last couple of months as some of you have mentioned. I have been wanting to turn back time to when my husband was alive and do things different. But I still want all of you in my life and I know that is not possible because some of you were not even a twinkle in your Mom's eye.

Try 40+ years ago. There is so much that I see now that I could have changed. Since that is not possible, I have to go on from here. I hate change but I get used to it. I don't have to like it but it is there. I think my problem is that, lately, I have been so negative about everything and I don't know what to do to get over it.
I like reenee's idea of someone keeping track of everybody. I have the addresses of the "old" gang and I have the birthdays. So why haven't I sent out cards? I don't know. Why haven't I made more gifts and sent them out? I don't know. Why am I sitting, everyday, in my nightgown and not getting dressed until I have to go to work? I don't know. I don't go down to my GF's place as often as I used to. My DBro and SIL are having problems so I am not going out there. I am usually in the dumps in the winter time but it seems that this time it has lasted through the winter and summer and now it is almost winter again. Right now I am not having trouble sleeping. I am having trouble staying up. I can sleep anytime and for however long I feel like it. I know it is time for anti-depressant meds but I don't want to take them. And anyway, I don't have insurance yet and with the cut in adult basic care insurance in PA, I can't afford any. So I have to do this on my own, with the help of my friends. That means you ladies.

Sorry, I wanted to keep this short but ;D and now I have to get ready for work. I will talk to you ladies later after I am done work.


sheilaincali - 30 Aug 2011 at 9:52am

reenee: [/b]I really like your idea of basically have a weekly "captain" to lead the charge so to speak. I am not sure how it will work to send the numbers from one person to the next. Maybe we could have one person that will track our numbers and then other that will be weekly captains? I don't know- just a suggestion.

I am thrilled at the new people that have joined since the the move to PB- I think in my case because this whole board seem more "relaxed" than it did when it was on msn that I became more lax with myself too. I stopped really tracking and started kind of slacking off. There was no real accountability and that made me frustrated (with myself too). I didn't fall too far off the wagon but I did fall some.


reeneejune - 30 Aug 2011 at 11:21am

sheila [/b]- As for tracking numbers, that wouldn't be too hard at all. One person could create a Google documents spreadsheet, then invite the captains by email so that they can read and edit the spreadsheet as we go. It doesn't even require that the people editing have a gmail email address.

Let's try the weekly captains idea for September. I'll get it all set up and take the first watch Sept. 1-10 (since the first week is short, I'll go through the following Saturday). If you'd like to volunteer to be a week captain for September, PM me and I'll get it set up. I'll need your email address, and if you have a preference on what week, let me know that too. There are spots for 3 other volunteers for the month.


kcgal - 30 Aug 2011 at 12:02pm

So what all do you want the weekly captains to do? Just think of a topic? I think I was dropping in every now and then at the time. Just don't remember what all they do. I do agree more $$ structure would be nice.


mizbear - 30 Aug at 12:10pm

I can do the number tracking I think. I spend the time on the board and should be able to set up a chart in google docs. I have a gmail so I can send it to anyone or just copy and paste.

I don't think I'm ready to be a captain because I think I am a big part of the problem.


Honeylioness - 30 Aug 2011 at 1:08pm

Ladies,[/b]

First off I want to thank those of you who took the time to respond to my posting yesterday either on board or off line. I appreciate each comment and piece of feedback. And I see it has already generated some discussion among us.

I am also pleased to see that a volunteer has stepped up for the first round of spearheading some weekly topics and challenges - thanks reeneejune.

If you will all bear with me for another few moments I would like to expand a bit on my comments yesterday now that I have received responses and feel better able to articulate my ideas.

1) For anyone who may have felt singled out - I apologize. I was specifically vague in my earlier post just so no-one would feel that I was pointing a finger.

2) I never meant to suggest, imply or even infer that people should not share what is happening in their life - to the extent that they are comfortable and it is appropriate. For instance, I for one would not need to know in detail just what about your Significant Other's boudoir techniques you would like to change ... that would just be TMI (Too Much Information)!!

3) As I believe I have spoken of before, for many women dealing with their finances and issues of money is approached in a more holistic approach rather than a linear one. We tend to see the patterns that link our emotions and stress levels to our spending habits. Just as many women tend to over eat when unhappy or tense - so do many feel the need to shop even when they know logically that spending money is not going to fix the problem.

I like that bonds form where we can feel safe sharing out struggles as well as our successes. That we exchange information and ideas and high-fives for ways of saving our budgets even $5. In no way did I mean to suggest that you should not feel free to tell us what is going on. I just feel that we have lost some focus.

4) I view this group as a "global" thread. For me that means that we are able to look at the overall picture as well as specific instances where closer examination may assist another. I don't see this group as merely a collection of experts in any particular field. I know that it can be very unnerving to post to the wider community (especially as some of the YM'ers have been off their meds for years) ;D but I would encourage people to consider that for in depth long term serious matters they reach out to the broader community as well.

This is NOT to say that we won't be here to listen and be supportive as we are able - but for issues pertaining to say Child Support, Estates in probate or Legal matters - you may find more comprehensive resources outside of the NS/CS thread that can help you with the practicalities of the issue - while we can be your support system in other ways.





NOW, for a few of my more concrete ideas .... let me know what you think.



1) For the ease of whomever will be tracking and posting numbers each month I would like to recommend that we go back to the convention of listing our NS/CS tally at the TOP of our posts in BOLD. For example:

15/23 NS, 18/23 NEO, 0/15 MOANS


2) Weekly (or monthly depending on how things work out) a volunteer would collect/create/plagiarize ideas for Questions and/or Challenges we could consider or execute on. For me in particular I get lazy and start "forgetting" to continue with the simple things that help me stay on track - like meal plan or always take a list with me to the grocery store.


3) And because of course everything is, as it should be, based on ME and what I want ......

I will confess that lately I have struggled with feeling that some people's problems have nothing in common with my life so why should I bother to respond.

Realize that we are all in different places not only in our lives, with our children and our relationships, but also with our money. While some people may be seriously worried about how to pay the light bill this week - another person may have a similar level of anxiety planning a vacation out of their savings or stressing over how to allocate their 401(k) money.

Each issue is valid for that person and their situation. Just as my issues basically being a single parent give me a different skew on how I see things.


4) And finally - I would like to see us as group be a little more deliberate in our posts. By that I mean - take a moment to really read what you typed before you hit "send". Don't just reply to this person or that because you may feel they have the more "interesting" issue ... but be kind to everyone. Even when you have nothing constructive to say or practical resources to offer - a kind word acknowledging another's upset or struggle goes so much farther than you can even imagine.

Take the time to tell each other that we are glad they are okay, or how sorry we are that they are struggling with XYZ, or even that you can relate. Knowing that in some ways you are not floundering alone and there are people pulling for you can be the difference in another person finding a successful resolution - or failing.



Okay, that's it for now from Honey's Soap Box.


reeneejune - 30 Aug 2011 at 1:14pm

Here's what I have in my head for the weekly captains. I know it looks like a lot, but when you read it you'll realize that it's not that much, I just listed everything. (startsmart - you're rubbing off on me. quit it. LOL) If there's something you think should be on this list that I haven't included, please let me know and I'll add it.

Weekly Captain Duties:

-Check in with the previous weeks' captain on Saturday or Sunday to switch over.

-Review the spreadsheet to get an idea of who is posting for the month.

-Read all posts for the week. Respond to all posters with a “shout-out”. This can be done daily or less often, preference for at least 2 shout out posts a week. ("shout-out": This is just a sort of "hello! Glad you posted. Acknowledge what they talked about in their post" sort of message. It doesn't have to be any longer than a sentence or two.

-Post a Question of the Week and/or Challenge of the Week that is somehow financially related. An example could be “How do you keep track of where your monthly bills are and whether or not they've gotten paid? Challenge: Create a spot to put the bills and a method of tracking that will work for you.” Ideally, the question will get us talking about different ways to handle a common situation so that if someone doesn't have a good way of doing things, they'll get some great ideas on how to change that.

-Welcome new members. Make sure that their questions get answered and that they feel comfortable in our group. Add them to the spreadsheet once they've set goals.

-Enter updates from members in the spreadsheet for how many NSD/CSD they've gotten so far.

-Post a weekly update showing how each person is doing on their goals on Friday or Saturday.

-Hand off to next week's captain, letting them know which post you stopped at so that they can pick up where you left off.

mizbear - I think you'd do well as a weekly captain. If you really think you've been one of the 'bad' ones, this might give you a push towards 'better' posting behavior. I think you'd do a great job because you're already here, checking in a lot. The next step would just be to ensure you're responding to everyone. You can always give it a try, and if you don't like it, I won't force you to volunteer again. ;D


dakota4600 - 30 Aug 2011 at 1:22pm

Reenee[/b]- I'm happy to step up as a captain for a week. Because I work in accounting I would prefer to avoid the end/beginning (29th-8th) of the month week(s).



mizbear - 30 Aug 2011 at 2:04pm

renee[/b]- I will take the challenge to be a captain. Because my job right now is in caretaking still- I can easily take the beginning or end of the month when many of our ladies are tied down because of their work commitments.


reeneejune - 30 Aug 2011 at 2:07pm

dakota [/b]- You have PM. Thank you for volunteering.

3cats - In regards to my other original suggestion, where we have a small group that keeps track of birthdays, I had you in mind as one of those people. After all, you already have a list of everyone's birthday! Is that something you'd be interested/willing to do, perhaps with some help from others? Just like a reminder post "so-and-so's birthday is this week. Don't forget to send some virtual [image] and [image] and [image] ."

All - I've struggled a little this morning mentally with the take-charge attitude I've taken over the last day or so in regards to bringing more structure back to the thread. I think of this group like an online club, but unlike the clubs I've had experience with in the past, we don't have a democratic structure set up to handle proposals for changes. But lacking that procedure for proposal/discussion/debate/vote, I've tried to listen to what the majority is saying and go with it. In the past, suggestions have been made, but we haven't had a clear cut leader to step up and say, "Ok, the majority are in favor, so we're going to do x, y, and z. We need some volunteers to make that happen."

I stepped up into that role this time around, because I feel like I've often "taken" a lot from the group. I've taken support, encouragement, ideas, advice, etc. But I feel like I haven't given as much as I've taken away. So this is my way of giving back to the group.

So please, if you're not in agreement with the direction this is being taken, please express it. Either here in the thread or by PM. Because we're a diverse group, and I'd be a little scared if we were unanimous.


azmom - 30 Aug 2011 at 2:36pm

I HEART Honey!

Renee:[/b] You are fabulous for taking the initiative on this. I will also be willing to take on a week, if we do not have enough volunteers.


azmom - 30 Aug 2011 at 2:43pm

HONEY ONE MORE THING: [/b]I made your Caramel Apple Pork Chops last night and MMMMMMMMMMM YUMMMMMMY! I will be posting the recipe on my blog next week (I work a week behind) and would like to give you credit. Would you like me to link your blog or some other way?

AND: I have every ingredient except the Pork Chops AND I made Coffee Cake this morning and had every ingredient on hand!!! This is a true step up in the kitchen for me AND THEY BOTH WERE SUPER YUMMY-even strangers I didn't pay thought so!


sheilaincali - 30 Aug 2011 at 2:44pm

reenee: I am in total agreement with the direction you are going. Let me know what I can do to help. Like Dakota- very end/beginning's of months are bad for me because I work in an accounting capacity as well.


startsmart - 30 Aug 2011 at 3:16pm

reenee- [/b]it takes courage to step up and lead so karma for you. Also I won't take on captainship in September since all of my time is going into the biz but let me know if you need someone in October or beyond.

Yay for some structure and livening up the thread! Can't wait for September to start. Oh, speaking of new threads, how about Starting Fresh September? For so many of us who have fallen off the wagon it's a great time to recommit to our goals.


reeneejune - 30 Aug 2011 at 3:31pm

azmom – thanks for the encouraging response. I was feeling a little far out on a limb, so it's nice to know I'm not generating (too much) ill-will. The roses make me happy just looking at the picture. I have to remind myself not to bury my nose in them!

Sheila – I'll add you to the list as well, and send out a PM soon. Thank you for the positive response as well.

Volunteers – It looks like we've got enough volunteers to fill September. Woot! I was thinking we'd wait a bit and see how it goes before I schedule any further out. I'll get things organized and out to everyone sometime this evening.

start - isn't the post office fun?! I'll put you on my list of potential future weekly captains.

September Thread Name - I'd like to second Startsmart's suggestion of Starting Fresh September. Because in a way, we're starting fresh as a group as well as personally.


mittenkitten - 30 Aug 2011 at 4:37pm

Reenee: I think you are great for stepping up. It was all I could do not to BUT I have done it and right now my family needs me more. Can I add a Weekly Captain responsibility? If there is something that should be posted on the controlled/no spend blog PM or e-mail me.

Honey: thanks for all your help.


gin1984 - 30 Aug 2011 at 6:23pm

I like that we can call each other out (thanks Honey), and try to get back to where we as a group want. I'm willing to help too, if needed. I like call out idea, I miss that.


spruby - 30 Aug 2011 at 6:46pm [/b]

Wow - it's been busy. Thanks Honey for kicking off the discussion, thank Renee for organizing and thanks everyone who volunteered for September. You can put me on the "future" weekly captains list - but September/October is going to be crazy for me with end of year work and our big trip. Once November hits I am game.


moneysquirrel - 30 Aug 2011 at 10:25pm

Renee -[/b]- As much as I would like to help I cannot because once I get the classes organized I will be swamped with tons of papers and projects to evaluate. I will try to comment as much as I can. I retained my habit of posting my numbers in bold so that will not be something new for me. It is routine. I have done it consistently because it is the only way I can keep track of my numbers. It is also why I try to post them every few days if not daily. As I said earlier, I like the challenge of the board.


moneysquirrel - 30 Aug 2011 at 10:55pm

Honey[/b] -- Thanks for refocusing us.

[Honeylioness]

reeneejune - Aug 24, 2011, 12:53am

I think I've found a new addiction: www.spoonflower.com

Seriously... a whole new world of fabric prints. and if I possessed any talent at all in drawing, I would totally be creating my own fabrics all night long. The prices are a little but I can see spending that much for a special piece. Like fabric to finish my poetry/cross stitch project.


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(for posting pictures I use www.imageshack.us, download the picture from my computer and then copy the "forum code" they provide--if you just do one picture it will show up right under the picture, if you do several pictures at once you have to click on the picture and then "embed picture" on the right of the photo, under an ad) You have to erase everything before the [ IMG] and after [ /IMG] (there will not be a space when you really want to post but if I leave the space out I can't show you...) Hope that helps!



When you hit "upload now" it should take you to a new page where you can see the picture and will say "upload successful". If you just did one picture the links should show up below the picture. Click on the code listed as the forum code then right-click and select "copy". Then paste that link onto your post, then erase the extra stuff, everything before and after [ IMG] nameofyourpicture.jpg or something will be here [ /IMG] (so you'll want to erase anything that says "url")

This is what my link looked like before...

[ URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/163/batmancake.jpg/ ] img163.imageshack.us/img163/7349/batmancake.jpg[ /IMG][ /URL]

Uploaded with [ URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[ /URL]

and after I erased the extra stuff

[ IMG]http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/7349/batmancake.jpg[ /IMG] (you won't have spaces between the "[" and the next letter or symbol)

ETA: you actually have to click on the code itself

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[Honeylioness]

spruby - 30 Aug 2011 at 6:46pm

Wow - it's been busy. Thanks Honey for kicking off the discussion, thank Renee for organizing and thanks everyone who volunteered for September. You can put me on the "future" weekly captains list - but September/October is going to be crazy for me with end of year work and our big trip. Once November hits I am game.

[personal background follows - feel free to skip]

I have to say I struggle with what to post here and what is/isn't appropriate. Before meeting DH, and during the first few years of marriage (8 in Nov!) I/we struggled with money. Every penny was accounted for and many pennies we didn't have as well. This was due to some reckless choices but in large part to forces outside our control that magnified the impact of the reckless choices.

Boy I wish I had a board like this - and the support system it provides - back then. We survived the dark days and worked hard. It finally got to the point we could play and we played a little to hard. Righted course . But our history has made us overly careful and we have both clung to job security at the expense of our happiness and for me at least - a little bit of my soul.

So a 18 months ago we got really serious about focusing our money and time on our "passions"/"love" and have been working a plan ever since. It gets tweaked constantly and it and we are far from done - but we work on it. So while I love the idea and support of this board - I also know I don't fit in neatly here - that it seems - to me at least - that I am in a very different place. One that may make some people uncomfortable - although that is not my intent.

About us: We will never have kids, I long ago buried my parents (I was adopted by older folks), cut off contact with leech like family members and have no desire to find my biological parents (one crazy family is enough per lifetime), we have pets, a few close friends, and DH's folks. Our biggest concern is our health (another struggle) and retirement. So my comments are always going to be focused on our great love - travel and creating a sustainable lifestyle so we can semi-retire/support ourselves doing what we love. I've done the "own my own" business where my time is both always and never my own and I know that it is hard for *me* to find balance in that.

I know some/many of my posts may sound/be self indulgent (including this one) - but just because I don't post now about struggling with money doesn't mean I never have. It just means I've been extremely fortunate in getting and keeping a well paying job (that I work super hard at) AND down-sizing our/my life so it is supportable on a job that is a fraction of what we/I currently make. Because I've never had a safety net and I don't like how it feels when you hit the ground without one.

So now you know [if you read this far] - the perspective I bring to the board.



mizbear - 30 Aug 2011 at 7:30pm

spruby- [/b]KARMA to you from me! You hit on something I have been struggling with for a while on the boards- here in particular where I feel I fit in the most, yet the least.

I am tired and fighting a headache, so I feel if I try to explain I will end up rambling...

Basically, I'm not a mom (something I long to be) and probably never will be (although my nieces and several friends say I would be a good one), my relationship track record stinks, I am difficult to keep on topic by nature, like many here- I didn't always have money problems and have a less than stellar family. My health leaves something to be desired- but most of the problems are not tangible. And I have no hobbies or talents that I can really share with anyone. I have my things I like to do, but I am not a good runner and well, how do I share my music with my friends...

I feel like a people watcher- sitting on the bench watching the people in the park go by...


midwesternjd - 30 Aug 2011 at 8:18pm

Spruby [/b]and Mizbear, I feel the same way. And thank you for your perspective - it is always nice to know others' stories, and I think it gives more context to things and is generally all-around good

Renee, I think it's great that you stepped up. I am sort of a newbie on WIR and didn't lurk on the old board, so I'm not sure about the weekly questions, etc. but I could take a week if you don't have many volunteers (or maybe do the monthly tracking and end-of-the-month report if others wanted to be the "ambassadors").


ses - 30 Aug 2011 at 9:25pm

Karma to Honey for jerking so many of us out of our complacency. Also to spruby for reminding us that each of us have arrived and stayed for many different reasons.

I will briefly outline my situation. My mother lived with me for the last six years of her life and this made me really examine my actions. I calculated my probable income upon retirement and started to live on that amount rather than spending whatever I wanted. Not that I was ever a real spendy person, just not really aware.

By becoming aware I was able to pay off my car and mortgage before retiring and be able to live comfortably, I retired about three years ago, just as the world economy was falling apart. I am so glad I had been "practicing" living on a reduced income for the previous couple of years. I am still living on that budget, although after three years, and some inflation, it is sometimes a little tighter. Thus, my part-time job is a Godsend for my savings and emergency fund. And a bit of a comfort with my retirement funds jumping around like they are now.

I know my financial focus is different than most who will post here, but i still gain a lot of insight here, and I hope, give some insights

In the Money Talk Forum thread about food inflation there is a spread sheet where we all enter our own data. Would this be a possibility if anyone has the computer skills to set it up--I sure don't! Then we could each be responsible for our own updates.?.?.?



muttleynfelix - 30 Aug 2011 at 10:01pm

I think when you talk about where you are financially realize that it moves and it may move a lot. I've been hanging out on the no spend stuff for a long time and even though I don't track (or have ever tracked) my spending (ETA: I meant my days that I spend, I actually am religious about tracking actual spending and I have 10 years of data on my computer), I enjoy the accountability and commraderie. When I first joined we had CC debt that I didn't know about. THen DH had shoulder problems which lead to shoulder surgery, then neck surgery and last year elbow surgery (the real culprit). We paid off a lot of medical debt, bought a new riding lawn mower. Made some bad decisions, made some good ones. Paid off the truck and 2 years later traded it in on an SUV (and took out a small loan on that rather than empty our savings). We went through DH being laid off and deciding to be a one income family. Then we had DS. It has been a rollercoaster. Our financial position has changed a lot. No, other people are not going to be in your exact situation. Even on the racers threads you would be hard pressed to find more than a couple people across the regions in your exact situation.

Yes I have been knowingly terrible about money this summer. Yes I have tried to watch my grocery budget, but when DH had to take over shopping for me. The budget kind of went out the window. Although I certainly didn't help it. Financially, it was a big mistake to upgrade our cell phones to smart phones ($50 a month change). For travel sake, for instant access to weather information, and for entertainment, they have been worth the money. I don't regret spending money to send DS to music class this fall and I certainly don't regret the excess gas money and meals out for my trip to see my grandma or go to her funeral. Now we need to tighten the belt for September. August turned out nothing like I expected. I did not expect my work to go ape-shit crazy. I didn't expect my Grandma to die.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Which means I probably need to go to bed. Good night all.


moneysquirrel - 30 Aug 2011 at 10:25pm

Background -- I also was not able to have children of my own. I was fortunate to marry a man many years ago with a young son. Fast forward 35 years and I am widow after 30 years of marriage with a DSS that I am very close to and has given me a DGS that is the joy of my life. I grew up with having to save for anything I wanted. My family was not rich, under today's standards we would be classified as the working poor. I was fortunate that my parents were very good money managers and all of us kids learned a lot from observing them. In the times I grew up credit cards were not available on the wide scale they were to many of our younger posters.

I was also fortunate that I had family members who worked in stores that had their own credit departments. I also worked part-time in a credit department of a major department store. During those years, I learned a lot about credit scores, individuals who couldn't get the store credit cards, individuals who were not able to charge those last minute Christmas gifts and so on. Remember Visa and AE were not as widespread in those years. Local stores ran their own credit accounts. Again watching and learning through those jobs taught me a lot and made me determined not to put myself in danger.

I chose a career that does not pay a lot based on current standards. I still make a lot less than many of our younger posters even with all of my experience. Education in my area is not a high paying job even today.

Change in life occurs whether we want it too or not. My DOD died suddenly in 2004. Then in 2005 Katrina hit (6 years anniversary was yesterday). My school flooded and did not reopen. I was without a job plus shortly after we were able to return home in October (6 weeks after the storm) my DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer and we begin doing only the necessary repairs. In 2006 my DH died. I also took a part time job and decided that I was going to get the rest of the repairs/renovations done while I was still working. I discovered the boards in late 2007, joined early in 2008. I only read the NS/CS thread. I liked the challenge of watching and limiting my spending since I had no idea how expensive the renovations would be. I didn't post a lot in the beginning. Usually I posted once a week and just my numbers. Slowly I begin to post a little more but not as much as most of the others but I was comfortable with what I was doing. In 2009 I had to switch jobs and schools. It was a rough year professionally for me. New schools always are. In 2010 my teaching schedule changed to something similar to what I have now. I saved to meet the ladies in KC and this year in the Black Hills. I have built into my budget travel as that is important to me. I just finished with the contractor this past summer but there are at least 3 major items that I know I need to purchase. I am currently saving for those --old habits die hard.

So I still watch what I earn because I don't know how many more years I have before I retire. My car is almost 7 years old and I need to begin the process of saving for a new one. I am also saving more for my retirement.

This board and you ladies are important to me. You were there in the beginning when I needed you. Those first months and years were very lonely at night. I came to lurk and then join this community of strangers who became friends.

I marvel at your successes and your talents. We are not all in the same place but we are not clones of each other. As individuals we all have our own issues to resolve. We have our own challenges and successes. Together we are strong. We are our support system. We come here to share, to laugh, and at times to vent. We know that every part of our life and experience has an effect on how we approach our finances.

As we go forth on this journey we have to realize that change will happen to us. To cite an old Clint Eastwood movie we will see " The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly". This community will help us to soar to be the best that is in us.


sheilaincali - 31 Aug 2011 at 8:21am

Thank you all for sharing your backgrounds with us I love the fact that we come to this from so many different perspectives. I think that is one of our greatest strengths.

My story: DH and I have been married for 15 years, we have one 13 year old DS "The Boy". I joined these threads 4 years ago in September. It's been a crazy four years. When I joined we lived in Southern California and were living the good life $$ wise. The next four years saw 3 job losses (2 for DH and one for me), my husband's affair and subsequent stalking by the ex-mistress, a move back to Minnesota and new jobs for us. We lost our CA house to foreclosure (something I never really vocalized here). The first two years back in MN our income was half of what it was in CA. We are slowly gaining ground and climbing back out of what felt like a bottomless black hole.

We NEVER would have survived without the ladies here. We haven't used a credit card in 3 years. I learned to drastically downsize my life and learned how to define wants and needs. We are happier and healthier now then we ever were when we were making twice as much money.

Now a days I don't track my spending as much as I should be we carry the lessons with us every day. It is not at all uncommon for DH to ask me "what's the most frugal way to achieve that?" DS is learning how to manage money and save for what he wants rather than expect us to buy it for him.

During my darkest days of job losses and crazy mistresses you all kept me sane. Thank you for that.



redwagon - 31 Aug 2011 at 8:47am

Renee [/b]- thanks for stepping up! I myself am not on here with the regularity required for such a position, but I will support our weekly leaders in any way I can! And that's great about the scholarship possibility!

sheila - still no power, on to day 4. I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach the backyard neighbor. We don't know them at all. A letter in the mailbox? If we knock they may not be home. I just want to recommend that they be in touch with their homeowners insurance and let them know we are working on getting everything removed and the ground settled again so everyone can fix their fences.

muttley - you are such a good example of how one's financial situation and life circumstances can change so much and so often, yet we all still belong here! Also, I sometimes regret upgrading to smart phones, but after this week I have to say they are the best purchase we ever made. Without them we would be utterly without a way to contact the world, call insurance, reassure family we are okay, email work, and so on. A true sanity saver.

background - I am an example of a rapidly changing situation, I think, as well. When I started out on here. blue and I each had our own apartments, I had a decent job paying enough for my apartment and life's staples, but I was trying to live a more exciting life than I could afford. Now four years later, I'm married (and blue makes almost double what I do, which helps a lot), have a house/mortgage, two car loans, and took on a LOT of SL debt via blue. However, since we do make enough to pay for all that, and put some aside in savings or for fun stuff, I'm feeling pretty good about our financial situation. We are planning to start our family as soon as I'm weaned off my meds, and hope to be able to afford annual vacations of some sort, whether cheaper camping or a European jaunt. that said, I do want to focus more and get back into carefully planning larger purchases, and paying off our CCs once and for all. Luckily with freelancing and blue's signing bonus for getting his old coworker hired at his new compnay, that should help a lot there. At heart I am still a spender, but luckily blue is a saver, and I hope in the end we balance each other out. You ladies have always been my conscience of sorts, keeping me honest and keeping me from buying all the stuff I might want, or helping me to delay gratification. And you're also there when the emotional side of things rears its head and you help keep me grounded when i might be upset and want to go buy out H&M. So thank you.


dakota4600 - 31 Aug 2011 at 8:56am

I've been here awhile and it is kind of nice to hear everyone's story again or for the first time.

I've been married for 5 years and am very lucky to have a spouse with similar financial views. We have 1 DS (mini-D) who is almost 3.5 and in preschool now. I ended up here about 2.5 years ago. Mini-D was about to turn 1 and I was feeling that our finances were out of control. It seemed like every time we turned around he needed new clothes or diapers or something. So for lent I decided not to spend on anything, but diapers, gas and groceries. I was a lurker on the boards and had noticed the NS thread and decided to jump in. I got a warm welcome from the ladies here and you quickly became the angels on my shoulder when I went shopping. In the first few months I got a handle on the budget and realized that eating out was our downfall. So I sat down with DH and together we set some limits. Monday-Thursday we eat dinner at home. Friday is typically our out to dinner night. Saturday it depends on what we are doing, but if we eat out it is only 1 meal. Every other Sunday we go out for lunch with the IL's after church. (Still annoys me that they invite us and never pay, but I'll get over it.)

From out wise women here I've learned some kitchen tricks and have gotten good at batch cooking. It really doesn't take much more time to double or triple the recipe and freeze some for later. I've found I actually enjoy some baking. Now my family eats much healthier as we have eliminated packaged/processed foods, plus my grocery bill is smaller too. I do work full time and have no problem getting a homemade meal on the table most nights. I find that if I devote a half day to cooking once every 2-3 months I can keep our staples ready to go for quick meals. As long as I have some kind of plan of what we are going to eat that week it goes pretty smoothly.

My next challenge is to make more homemade cleaners. Thanks to Honey, I have a ton of suggestions that I will quietly incorporate. If I make a big deal out of it DH tends to resist, but if I just start doing it, he tends to go with the flow.

I can't say that I never use credit cards. We actually use one for every transaction we can, but it gets paid off in full every month. It has a pretty good rewards program. This year we were able to get a rental car for week with points and $300 in GC to Lowe's and HD for projects around the house.

We are lucky that we make pretty good money and aren't struggling to pay the bills, but the quickest way to get in that position is to not be mindful of your spending. So this group keeps me grounded. And is the main reason I didn't go on-line last week to upgrade to an i-phone the day I was eligible. I'm still going to do it, but I am waiting until the next version of the iphone comes out then I'll get the older version a little cheaper.



singlemomky - 31 Aug 2011 at 9:14am

Thank you to everyone who has stepped up - I agree that the new (old) direction we are heading is a good thing. I find that I am much more lax these days too and some structure would do me well.

Background: I am a single mom of a 7 year old - Lil' Smokey. I have a mortgage & monthly bills but thankfully no car payment. I have been a single mom since day 1 of his life and I cannot imagine not having him. One of the downsides to the single parenting life is that it is by his father's choosing. Lil' Smokey has not seen or talked to his dad in almost 3 years. Financially, I get regular child support but at the time that we mediated the issue, I really just wanted "a little something" to be able to say that his dad acknowledged him. Now that I am wiser, I realize that I am probably going to have to petition for an increase in support b/c I agreed to about 1/2 of what the state would have forced him to pay. On one hand I am making it w/o the money from his dad but on the other hand, the extra would be really nice to put aside for DS.

I first began lurking about 3 years ago when I was home on medical leave after breaking my leg and requiring surgery which had me off work for 8 weeks and unable to be completely weight bearing for 16 weeks. I was fortunate that I have a really great work environment (and an amazing family support system) but it made me realize that anything can happen and life can change in the blink of an eye.

I started out trying to figure out where all my leaks were and realized that I ate out way too much - a couple dollars here & a couple dollars there really added up over the course of the month. I have fallen off the wagon so to speak in that regard and really need to focus on curtailing that habit. As the first step, I need to focus on bringing my lunch to work every day.

I do have some small credit card debt that I really need to focus on paying off this fall and hopefully having some more structure will aid in my finally buckling down.


startsmart - 31 Aug 2011 at 10:51am

My background for those who are interested

I joined the msn boards in 2008 when I was unemployed and working boring temp jobs. I'd quit my full time job and was looking for something new and found that saving money was much harder without income lol. I joined in February because it was the shortest month. Then, I think in April, I helped with tracking when MK had her DD and volunteering really brought me closer to the group.

Also in 2008 I bought my first house which the broker flooded the weekend before I moved in. These lovely ladies I didn't even know sent a huge care package via Keeker to my door step. It was their caring that helped me through and the reason my broker is alive today and I'm not in jail.

Now it's 2011 and I'm 26, still single and lovin' it, have 3 lively dogs named after dead presidents (Jackson, Wilson and Nixon) and have evolved so much as a person.

Financially I became hyper aware of where my money was going. What I was spending money on, how my investments were doing. I paid off my car loan early, set aside money for house repairs and am still working on making regular retirement contributions. I'm still in the black financially but I want to pay off my student loans and an education loan, complete payments on my grandpa's 1970 Cadillac and open a separate credit card for my business expenses.

Instead of watching every penny sit in my bank account indefinitely spending more. I hope still consciously but sometimes I slip up. I'm buying for unprepared food, making my own beans, rice and lentils and eating way more fresh fruit and veggies. A lot of my habits have changed over the past 3 1/2 years but this board keeps me grounded. Whether I was struggling through underemployment and living at the poverty level or going to Europe on vacation, the wise wonderful women here have guided me, given great advice and encouraged me through it all.


mrslynch - 31 Aug 2011 at 11:15am

Thanks to all who have shared their backgrounds. I'm way too emotional to go into my entire story but here's the basics: I joined in 2008 when my husband and I were in the midst of paying off a great deal of debt. I needed somewhere to be accountable to my debt payoff and my frivolous spending. I have a 4 1/2 year old dd, 2 dogs and 1 cat who, on some days, are the reason I keep going. The friendships I've made here and support I get from you ladies have enabled me to start writing, something I've always wanted to do (even if I don't get paid to do it. Yet. We'll see how that goes). But what I love most about this group is that no matter how far any one of us falls, financially or otherwise, we're all there to help pick her up. I have evolved so much as a person by being part of this group. New or old, you ladies are all amazing and special to me.


kcgal - 31 Aug 2011 at 7:20pm

I have been around since the girls met up in KC. I am SES little sister. She had been talking about you all since the Vegas meet up. I thought it was extremely weird to go meet Internet friends. People really do that and walk away safely? So I really wanted to meet you all. I thought my sister had lost all sanity to hang with Internet friends. Someone had to look after her?!

Imagine my surprise to find out you are perfectly normal people. LOL. Like my sister I am by nature frugal, it was the way I was raised. I have a DH, 2 grown children, 1 adorable GD and 4 grand cats. One g.cat visits regularly especially if DGD is her. Uncle C's cat is best of friends with uncle C's niece. I think it is because they are both in their terrible two's. After the met up I started lurking a lot. I found out that I could do a better job of saving following some basic concepts brought up on this site. By being aware of what I spend I am able to do 1 major home improvement project a year. I NEVER take a vacation that is paid for before I walk out the door. I don't like to face it after wards.

I was a school teacher. My worst year ever I had walking pneumonia and missed an entire week of school and went back even though I wasn't well. Had too. The day before Good Friday I got a phone call from the daughter (21) of my BFF from HS. She had died of a brain aneurysm, the next day I got a call from SES that mom had passed away. I took another week off from work to deal with everything, still sick. It wasn't well received even though I had 30+ sick days that I was gone for another week! I came back to work a week later, still sick. Less than a month later my daughter new FIL was sick one day and then dead the next. I was so sick I wasn't able to give my daughter the emotional support she needed. I had nothing to give.

I was laying on the couch one day after school feeling so horrible it finally occurred to me if I didn't make some changes I would be the next one to die. I quit my job those outdoor recesses were killing me. I'm allergic to everything. Plus the 60 hour weeks were not any help wen it came to my health. A year later the allergy/asthma doctor gave me a clean bill of health and I plan to keep it! My big plan was to get well and then be a teacher's aid, no more 60 hour weeks for me. However, the recession came and no one is hiring aids. So instead I do all the home repairs I can. Use coupon to save money and carefully watch how I spend my money. My new work uniform is jeans and a t shirt. Love the uniform.

The NS/CS has made me very aware of my spending habits and cut my grocery bill by $200.00. Between the amount of gas I was spending and the extra money I was spending oop we hardly missed my income. I have chose to simplify my life.


sbcalimom - 01 Sept 2011 at 11:24am

My background:

DD2 is somewhat asleep so I'm going to give this a try . I don't remember when I started reading or joined but I know it's been at least since 2007/8. I got myself into a lot of cc debt back in college largely because I had NO idea what CCs really were and no idea how to manage my money. I grew up with a very irresponsible mom who would always say "just charge it" and then when she couldn't pay the bills anymore, she'd just stop. I didn't really get the whole concept that you eventually have to pay the $ back or pay interest forever so I racked up close to $25K. After graduation, I started a full-time mgmt position at Victoria's Secret and grew to absolutely hate it but the debt meant I couldn't leave without another somewhat high paying position secured. That was my wake up call and I started to buckle down to pay stuff off. I got some help from DH's parents who have always been very generous and combined with using all other windfalls, tightening the belt, I was able to get it all paid off by our wedding in 2006. Since then, I'm happy to report we have never carried a balance on our CCs for more than 1 month.

DH started his PhD program in 2007 and we moved up to NorCal for that. He got a great funding package his first year and I just transferred to the local office to keep working, often more than 40 hours a week. By living like totally broke students even though we had a pretty good income, we were able to amass some substantial savings. We know have over $45K saved outside of retirement. We did this while also paying off two cars since then. I now work a lot less because we have two sbcalibabies (DD1 is 2.5 and DD2 is 9 weeks old) that I primarily take care of. I've realized recently that my new downfall is things for the girls. They are my main money leak and Target is evil! For my spending fast to work through the end of October, I will have to avoid Target as much as possible and stop buying things for the girls. The good news is that their necessities are covered so that should make it easier since I can just STOP going to buy things rather than hope I can control my impulses once I'm there. Sorry this ended up so long, but that's me !


mittenkitten - Sept 2, 2011, 5:35pm

Now about myself: I am a 38 soon to be 39 YO woman with a DF (dear fiance my issues with committment NOT his) DSS (14 YO), DS#1 8 YO, DS#2 5 YO with autism and is nonverbal and 3 YO DD. The one everyone remembers me posting as I was in labor LOL.

I found these boards in Aug/Sept 2007 pretty close to when they began. I had been forced to give up my job as DS#2 just could not leave me. My grocery budget was a little out of control. I was just finding out I was pregnant with DD who was a surprise. We had/have no debt other then a mortgage for our home and one for a rental. I really needed to touch base with other adults seen as I was pretty isolated at home.

So between this thread and the grocery thread I was able to get that part under control and find my weaknesses (I now have a strict plan for SAM's Club) and I was able to wean myself off the going to Caribou or Starbucks thing I had. I remember hearing the ladies over my shoulder "you really don't need that for cost OR calories"

In early 2008 the gal running this thread needed a break so I stepped up. I did later have to scale back as the demands of my children grew. I however do still value all my friends here.


Honeylioness - 09 Sept 2011 at 10:10pm


So, while I compile a separate post about my current financial stress - I thought I would give my history with the group.

I first posted in July 2008 after "lurking" for a couple of months. This following a link in an article I had read about something called "The Women In Red". I had also been monitoring some of the other threads - but there was so much shorthand that I just could not keep up with their discussions. So I finally got up the nerve to put my two cents in with this group and well - it has been a very up and down journey since.

I am a single 48 year old woman who has always felt as though I have a dysfunctional relationship with money. First because growing up we never HAD any - and then because I got into the common habit of trying to project an image I could not afford. At one point around 1998 I was $25k in debt with no idea how I would ever dig my way out. A windfall from an estate paid off this debt - but I think because I didn't have to sweat to get it down it was all too easy to start using the charge cards again and justify why I "needed" that item or this thing.

I think I also had a scewed concept of money and finances because of how my parents' did, and didn't, deal with it. I knew growing up that being constantly short each week created stress. That my dad worked at a job with a check and my mom stayed at home with the kids. That dad's responsibilities with the finances seemed to end when he dropped his paycheck on the kitchen table and that my mother resented having it all be on her shoulders.

I knew we had a family budget for things like clothing and vacations. But I did not have modeled for me my folks sitting down to work on budgets or investment planning. From what I have learned over the years my mother's dad was very good at these sort of things, however it seems my mother didn't really absorb that. Now that they are both retired they seem to be doing okay because of their Social Security payments, the low amount they owe on the house and my dad's pension.

After I was able to purchase my townhouse in October 2011 I knew I had to get much more disciplined about my money. (And yes, I had made the offer on the house just days before the 9-11 attacks and seriously considered backing out of the deal because of it). I tried several different types of budget spreadsheets, looked at where I could cut expenses - but it always seemed I was living such a deprived feeling life I would wind up falling into old habits and wasting money on things I neither needed nor truly wanted.

So, where does that leave me today? Well, I am contributing 4% to my company's 401(k) - which maxes out the company match. My current vehicle is paid for and for the most part I do know where my money goes each month. I have a small amount of credit card debt - under $500 due to some dental issues. I have a weekly direct deposit of $40 per week moved from my checking to savings account.

However .... I still find myself feeling as though even the numbers seem to work out on paper I feel as though I still struggle most months. I also feel as though I know next to nothing about investing and often feel as though I am going to be the lady who works into her 90s because I can't afford not to.

Sorry for the long ramble - I guess I had more to get off my chest then I thought.

[Honeylioness]

reeneejune - 31 Aug 2011 at 11:31pm

Welcome everyone! I'm kicking off the beginning of September as the first of our volunteer weekly captains. To help with tracking, please post your goals and later your updates in this format:

Goal: 8 NSD, 10 CSD, 15 NEO

or

Update: 1/8 NSD, 2/10 CSD, 3/15 NEO in an update, the first number is the number of days you've achieved so far and the second number is your goal.

Question of the Week: Do you know where your mail is? Do you have a system for organizing it?

Challenge of the Week: Designate a spot for mail and figure out a way to sort it that works for you.

**********************************************

Honeylioness - 01 Sept 2011 at 1:54pm »

Final August Numbers:

23/25 CS
27/20 NEO


September Goals


28 CS
27 NEO


QOTW:[/b] My paperwork is actually in not too bad a shape - with the exception of my filing. When I come into the house through the back door I walk directly into my office. I open the mail (which I admit I only collect from my mail box 2-3 times a week) and do my first sort: Recycle - File - To Be Paid (these get put into an In Box next to my desk/work area. Magazines are flipped through, inserts removed, and placed in a basket to be taken upstairs to the living room or bed room

I then enter the bill's total balance along with my estimated payment for that month onto my spreadsheet as a reminder. Once the payment is made I note the check, bank site or web site tracking number on the bill and into the mountain it goes to be filed. I also update the spreadsheet with the actual date and amount paid.

I am also fairly disciplined about receipts for cash purchases as well as my debit card - which I use a LOT. Once I put the receipt information into that month's spreadsheet they go into a special In Box (next to the pending bills). I shred them once the bank statements
have arrived and been balanced.

where my system sort of de-rails itself is in the disposition of paper. It DOES get filed .... eventually. I am more than a bit ... "retentive".... when it comes to paper trails. I keep utility bills for one year. Bank and investment statements for two years and pay stubs until I get my W-2s. Then all old paper is shredded. I need to go through the filing basket, sort things out, file and purge old paper. As the girls may be gone most of Saturday with another family to the beach - that would be a good quiet time to get this taken care of.


COTW: While I think I have the mail pretty well under control I am going to challenge myself on another paper matter.

My bank only keeps two months of checking or savings statements online before they purge them. As with many banks, mine no longer returns cashed checks with the statements - though I do get scans of them. I want to scan all my bank and investment statements and begin keeping them in separate computer files so if/when I do need copies they will be available.