February 2011

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - Feb 3, 2011, 4:07pm

Final January Numbers: 26 NEO / 26 NSD/CSD
February Goals: 25 NEO / 25 NSD/CSD[/b]

Gee, I did better than I thought in January. Except in the area of groceries. I MUST get this back under control!!! My total figure for January just about made me physically ill ... how could three people have spent that much in food? I use to be able to get it just under $300 with two of us ... would love to get the number to about $350 for the three of us.

Let's see - what else can I update on money wise?

Have I mentioned that I really really REALLY want mid-February to arrive so I can file my taxes already? Yeesh, and to add insult to injury I am going to have to file hard paper copies instead of e-filing because of the truck donation.

The girls were home AGAIN yesterday with yet another "Snow Day" - this makes seven in less than a month. At this rate they will be leaving for home before the school year is officially over.

On an upside: Punxsutawney Phil sees no shadow, predicts early spring. Good thing too or I would be planning on how exactly you make a gopher purse.

Oh, and being single $ucks and there was no "date" this last weekend - he cancelled due to a "scheduling conflict" ... yeah ... whatever.

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - Hey everyone .... just a quick drive by .....

Ines had her 18th birthday on Friday. And poor thing, she and I spent most of the day in the doctor's office. She has been grinding her teeth at night and now she is having issues where her jaw "clicks" when she chews sometimes ... Friday it completely locked up and really scared her while at school.

We are going to try the simple route for a couple of weeks: No gum, prescription Motrin for the muscle inflammation and a night guard to stop the teeth grinding. Had a video conference with her mother who really made my day when she not only told me she trusted me to keep an eye on the situation and make the decision I felt best (which means not running to an ENT just right now) - but then she thanked me for being so calm and non-reactionary and for taking such good care of her baby girl. Man, that felt great.

Oh - and the kids really "hated" (yeah right) the Mocha Velvet cake I made for her birthday dinner.


Budget - I am still trying to crack down and re-work some numbers so this month is not the train wreck I felt last month was. Especially when it comes to groceries. I have pulled out all the supermarket receipts from the last six weeks and am taking a look at just where the high cost is coming from.

One sad trend I have noticed so far is in the produce area. I don't buy canned vegetables and haven't for years. I do keep some frozen on hand to add to soups and stews - but we primarily buy fresh produce each week. I could probably save $40 a week by switching to canned instead ... but I would like your opinions.

Would YOU be willing to pay the extra money for fresh produce as opposed to processed? I don't really want to give this up but I am also not sure if I am just being too stubborn.

I also did some price comparisons ... how sad is it that if I had bought all frozen dinners/meals for the week I would have spent about HALF of what we did buying fresh meat, veggies and fruit for the same time period?

Super Bowl - Not a football fan and rarely watch even for the commercials. However in a rash and weak moment last week I plunked down $10 for two boxes on my company's betting pool. And wonder of wonders ... I WON!!! ... not the whole thing but second quarter for the tidy sum of $125.00 !!!

Smoking - I must confess I am getting more than a little nervous about my upcoming "Quit Day" and starting to doubt my ability to do this :-(

Tying into that subject is my great dis-satisfaction with how I look currently. I saw a picture one of the girls took over the weekend of me and I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry I am so unhappy with my weight. Perhaps I should try and loose some of the weight BEFORE I stop smoking? That is one of my biggest fears ... that I will pack on MORE weight without the cigarettes.


**********************************

ses - February 07 Yesterday at 2:43pm

Honey-[/b]-I used to have the same quandary about fresh vs frozen vs canned. I have made my peace with the issue after reading several university studies. Todays processing plants are so efficient and so close to the source of the ripe vegetables that frozen is possibly more nutritious than fresh because it is processed within 24 hours of picking. Most fresh produce spends much longer than that being shipped. I prefer frozen over canned unless I can get low or no sodium cans. I couldn't eat the fresh produce quickly enough to get the benefits of fresh over frozen or canned to justify the expense.


reeneejune - Re: February 07 at 3:04pm

Honey [/b]- since we're going into spring, you might want to look into Community Supported Agriculture or CSA. If you've never heard of it, it's a way of running small (usually organic) farms to ensure that the farmer has enough of a market to grow his/her crops. Customers buy a full or half share either in a lump sum payment once a year, several smaller payments through the year, or monthly. The Customer then receives a portion of the farmer's crop through the entire season. I babysat for a family that ran their farm this way, and their customers received produce starting in March (kale, lettuce, assorted greens and veggies that will grow in coldish weather or year round) and continued through the end of October. There is a small amount of risk involved in that if weather conditions prevent part or all of the crop from producing, you're still committed to paying. So if there's a cool, wet summer, you might not get very many (or any) tomatoes, but you might get tons of greens. Another benefit is that CSA shares are divvied up before the farmer harvests for Farmer's Market so you're getting the best variety and best quality that the farm has to offer. It's a great way to learn to eat more seasonally and the value you get for your money is amazing!


muttleynfelix - February 07 at 9:39pm

Honey [/b]- Big hugs to you on the smoking. My advice as the wife of a smoker who keeps putting off quitting (first I wouldn't date him until he quit smoking, which lasted all of a week, then it was ok you can smoke until we have kids ... yeah DS is 12 months and counting) stick to your quit date. You will always find a reason to push it back. You can do this. We believe in you. Think of all the money you will be saving. I know it is hard, but that just means conquerring it is going to be so much sweeter. We believe in you and are here to cheer you on. LOL on the underwear and bras. You don't have any 34 Ds do you? I have 1 non-nursing bra that fits which I am finally getting to wear to work since I quit pumping last month, but I don't want to buy any more non-nursingbras until DS weans which may be next month or it may be next year. [image]


mizbear - February 07 at 10:24pm

Honey-[/b] I don't particularly care for canned veggies myself. I do buy canned pickled beets, mushrooms and mandarin oranges- but everything else is frozen- if I can get pickled beets from the amish market or have a friend who is canning them (my grandmother no longer does and I am terrified of pressure cookers) I try to get fresh. Same with mushrooms. I agree with reneejune- CSAs are wonderful! One of my friends is a member and often brings things from her basket when we have our lunch dates because she is a veg and I have veg cookbooks.

Please try to quit smoking. I lost my grandfather - who was more of my dad really to lung cancer. He smoked for 30 years+, quit when he had a stroke he year before I was born and then died of lung cancer 2 1/2 years ago. A year ago this month, I also lost a close friend to smoking related lung cancer. My estranged father also is a smoker and has lung cancer that he refuses to have treated. I will now get off my soapbox.


dakota4600 - February 08 at 9:51am

Honey-[/b] I use frozen veggies during the winter, I use fresh when they are in season locally. I avoid canned, except for green beans. DH likes canned ones and neither mini-D or I like them that much so DH eats them alone. LOL on the underwear. I have both a night guard and a day guard for clenching teeth. I don't wear the day guard all that much, unless I'm really stressed, but I can't sleep without my night guard now. I have a lot less headaches and jaw pain, plus my neck isn't always sore. It does take a few days to get used to. My advice is to use one that goes over the lower teeth. I've tried ones for the upper teeth and they triggered my gag reflex.

I also agree with Muttley there will always be a reason that this isn't the best time to quit, so stick with your quit date and vent to us as needed.


shanendoah - February 08 at 10:45am

Honey:[/b] What a wonderful compliment, completely unsurprising to us, but so nice for you to hear.

Please do stick to your quit date. I believe I read that the reason most people gain weight when they quit is that smoking gives you something to do with both your mouth and your hands, and that's a habit that's just as hard to break. I know gum helps a lot of people, but that only takes care of the mouth, so you need to find something to do with your hands in those idle moments, too. Not that I have any good solutions to that (biting your fingernails works, but isn't a habit you want to start, either), but it is something to think about.

[Honeylioness]

mittenkitten - February 9,2011 at 9:33am

Received DS#2s budget for his waiver from the committee. Somehow I need to make them see that blinds are a necessity and won't be torn down. he is pulling down all the curtains and his going to hurt himself with the rods falling down. DS#2's social worker tried to use my letter to explain that he uses the curtains to climb onto the window sill and can't do that with the blinds. somehow they can't figure it out ARG! Oh and one committee member went so far as to say we should go without blinds or curtains..... Really are YOU going to pay my heat and cooling bills with no blinds, not to mention how early he will get up with nothing blocking the sun.

Anyone have any ideas for how to explain this to them and get them to approve it I would appreciate the input.



Honeylioness - February 09, 2011 at 11:31am


MittenKitten - You know how much I like a little writing challenge now and then, so I drafted a possible response to the idiots on the committee:

*************************

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to you in regards to my son (...name...) and his budget waiver exclusion notice dated (...date...).

In my application I made note of the need to change the window treatment in his room to avoid him injuring himself, perhaps fatally. One of my son's challenges is not understanding the consequences of his actions which can cause him severe physically harm. An example is his persistant use of any kind of fabric window treatments. (name) will climb any form of drapes or curtains to access a window sill. In the past this has caused not only damage to the walls and window frames from rods and poles being ripped from their moorings, but poses an immediate peril for (name) as well. If we were to install larger and more substantial devices the risk of him being hit by one of them falling out of the wall increases exponentially.

However we have found that the use of mini-blinds seems to not trigger his impulse to climb, thereby greatly reducing his risk of self injury. Not only are the blinds a needed modification to keep my son's environment safe for him, they also allow us to help him keep to a regular schedule, which as I am sure you are aware, is critical for children like (name).

Leaving the window bare and uncovered is not feasible for several reasons: (name) needs consitent sleep and wake times, something that is nearly impossible to do when the light difference at 07:00 pm is enormous between January and July. Window coverings also let us keep him from being exposed to radical swings in temperature as glass is well known for it's heat loss. Even the most energy efficient windows are unable to prevent large temperature swings when a winter night can plunge to (...pick a recent low ... say -5 F). And lastly there is the issue of privacy. Would you care to have your private space open to anyone who cared to look towards that window on display 24 hours a day? We all deserve the right to change our clothes or sleep without the constant uncertainty that someone may be watching us.

Therefore I am respectfully asking that you reconsider our application.

Sincerely,

____________________________________

[Honeylioness]

Honeylioness - February 13, 2011 at 3:40pm

Ladies, I am trying to not freak out but losing that fight I think.

Yesterday I got a certified letter form the property managers saying they think I have not paid my association fee for five months. I sow at least one check I have written they do not account for. As if that were not stressful enough (and yes, I do still owe January) ....

I then got a snarky self righteous e-mail from another trustee telling me ...TELLING me I MUST resign from the board because of the so called balance due.

I went into full blown panic attack. Yes, money has been incredibly tight the last few months ... and I really cannot stand the other board members personally.

But who the hell is she to tell me what I MUST do??? One of her comments was "...I am not writing to initiate a discussion ..."

It was all I could do to not write back with the strongest of sailor language. This on the heels of a discussion Friday at work about yearly raises and a person who does NOTHING and yet is slated for a larger increase than me ... and I bust my butt all day.

I don't have cancelled checks from my bank anymore. And if it was mis-applied by the previous manager what if the current company forces me to re-pay it to them. I don't have that kind of money hanging around. And the last thing I want is to have to borrow money from anyone.

And I still have not heard from the man who owes me for the phone bills ... and not seen a dime.

I just feel like I am drowning without a rope. I could try to get a cash advance from my credit card ...but feel that would just put me further into the hole.

**end of rant**


3catslady - February 13, 2011 4:18pm

Honey[/b]; Call the bank and tell them you need copies of the checks to the association for the past year. They MAY charge a small fee, ($20) for research or they may not. My bank did that for me when one of my landlords said I did not pay them but they found all the checks and only charged me $15. My landlord had to stop the magistrate from serving me with an eviction notice.


redwagon - February 13, 2011 at 4:25pm

Honey [/b]- I know my bank shows images online, but doesn't send the cancelled checks back to me. See if you can sign up/access your account online and print out copies of the checks. If not, follow 3cats's advice. Sounds like they are bad at record-keeping. Good luck!


muttleynfelix - February 13,2011 at 4:53pm

Honey [/b]- Agree with Red. Check online and see if they have images. If that does not work, do what 3 cats suggests. Big Big hugs. That is super stressful.


moneysquirrel - February 13, 2011 at 4:57pm

Honey[/b] -- First, calm down. The bank will have copies of the checks. Follow the advice of 3cats and redwagon. One way or the other you will be able to get the proof.


ses - February 13, 2011 at 8:17pm

Honey, [/b]last year I needed a copy of a check used in settling my mothers estate three years previously--on a closed account--my bank got it for me with no charge. That might be a benefit of banking with a small town bank where they know me by name. So don't panic!


startsmart - February 13, 2011 at 10:40pm

wow, Honey, that board member is unbelievably rude! No wonder you can't stand them personally!

I would reply (to all members) as such:

Despite the comment by Member So-and-so, it is my right and duty to involve each one of you in the discussion. Member s-a-s, you have absolutely no grounds to "demand" anything of me and I don't give a flying shit that you don't want to discuss it.

My association dues have been paid every month since I moved into this building (so many) years ago. The certified letter which claims the contrary has been received and once my bank opens on Monday I will be requesting copies of my checks.

I will NOT be resigning from my position on the board as it is evident that my funds have been misapplied and I would not be surprised if other residents have experienced the same. My January check will not be submitted until this discrepancy is corrected.

*

That's my two cents, anyways. I should show y'all the email I wrote when the board of our library association "fired" me (on my birthday) because I dared spend time at the hospital with my dying grandpa instead of jumping on her last minute requests. I copied every single person on the board to give them a piece of my mind.


shanendoah - February 14, 2011 at 11:09am

Honey[/b]: First, hugs to you. I would add, in startsmart's letter, that this is a country of innocent until proven guilty, but if accusations can force you to resign, you would be happy to level accusations at a few other members of the housing board.


mittenkitten - February 14, 2011 at 11:13am

Honey[/b]: I am going to add my support also. I like Startsmart's letter and with your writing skills could make a heck of a strongly worded letter. Don't take it laying down. Of course I admire you for remaining on that board at all!


Honeylioness - February 14, 2011 at 1:54pm

Weekend - Before had my meltdown I actually had been feeling pretty good about what I had accomplished, and I am a bit surprised I got stuff down even after:

* Grocery Shopping: I challenged the girls and we spent just under $100! This is a BIG drop from what I have been spending weekly to feed the three of us (Note: I include cat food, paper goods etc in my "grocery" column)

* Went to the post office and mailed five boxes:
1) My neices B-day gift (only a couple of weeks late)
2) A box for Ms. GLDNLVY
3) A box for Ms. SMOKEY
4) A box for Ms. MittenKitten (Not even going to confess how late THIS one is!!)
5) A box to Anne in Germany (After only seven months the kids finally sent me cash to take care of this)

* Had a discussion with the girls about ideas to stretch the food budget. We are going to try having a vegetarian dinner one or twice a week, thus saving on the cost of meat.

* Made a double batch of cookies to have in the house

* Ines spent several hours making cards for her friends. And with my considerable stock of construction paper, glues, glitter, specialty edge scissors etc we avoided having to go to a craft store for anything


Today - well, not only is this St. Valentine's Day - it is also my self appointed "Quit" Day. Though with the stress of the condo situation I am really jonesing for a smoke at the moment!

I also got a floral arrangement. First time in years and years I have r4eceived flowers for Valentines. Gorgeous mix of purples with sweet stock and other great smelling blooms ... but there is a catch. I have NO idea who they are from!!! The card was cryptic and had no name or signature on it. I thought it might be the girls ... but the card seems a bit too romanticly worded, unless it is a Lost In Translation thing. Great ... another mystery to track down.

Condo Payment - Here is where I just want to curl into a ball and hide away for ever. The bank got back to me on check #3179 which I wrote in February 2010 .... seems there is a reason I was not able to see it online - aside from the fact that they only keep two months history available online for customers. It seems that sometime in June 2010 I put a freakin' stop payment on the sucker!!! Which I do not remember at all, though their notes say that I indicated it must be lost since it had not yet cleared my account - which I discovered while balancing my checkbook.

I cannot begin to tell you just how furious, angry, disgusted, pissed off at myself I am and how bad this makes me feel about myself. HOW could I have forgotten something like that? and why didn't I write the replacement check immediately??? And where am I going to come up with the funds to cover this now??? I feel like such an incompetent moron to have had this slip like this. And yeah yeah .... you may not think of me that way ... but that is how I am currently feeling about myself.

A part of me has wanted to get off the Board for a while ... partly because the two other people have made it very clear they neither appreciate nor want my ideas, help or participation. One of them even sent me a nasty e-mail last week yelling at me for taking
two days to reply to HIS e-mail. I told him that unlike some people I did have a life ... and honestly ...I don't check my e-mail hourly and sometimes not at all during a given day. That is when he "demanded" I check it twice a day!! I just could not even dignify this with a reply.


singlemomky - February 14, 2011 at 2:03pm

check #3179 which I wrote inFebruary 2010 .... It seems that sometime in June 2010 I put a freakin' stop payment on the sucker

Honey: I know you feel horrible but here's something to consider aside from the fact that you did not write a new check - how is it that they did not cash a check for 4 months and then only questioned/told you that you had these fees to pay 1 year after the original check was written?


Honeylioness - February 14, 2011 at 2:06pm

Smokey [/b]- not the same property management company. I never did hear from UPM (the old company) that there was a problem. It was only now that we have changed to a new management company that this has come up.


singlemomky - February 14, 2011 at 2:13pm

Honey -[/b] well that sucks! I was hoping that there would be some leverage on your part since they didn't notify you for a year but the situation is much more difficult when you have multiple companies involved.


sheilaincali - February 14, 2011 at 2:42pm

Honey; Sorry you are having such a crappy week so far. Sounds like the change in property management caused a real headache. Hoping you are able to straighten it all out.


redwagon - February 14, 2011 at 2:48pm

Honey - it happens to all of us. I'm currently anticipating an overdraft charge because while I made sure there was enough money in the bank to cover blue's enormous new SL payment, I didn't make sure there was enough for my little one. Nowhere to transfer money from. I can only pray my paycheck hits at midnight BEFORE the SLs draft, but they usually go through on the 14th... in any event, best of luck working it out. And GOOD LUCK on your quit day! You CAN do this!


muttleynfelix - February 14, 2011 at 2:56pm

Honey [/b]- BIG BIG HUGS. You CAN do it!


mittenkitten - February 14, 2011 at 5:19pm

So Honey, let me get this straight, they are giving you a hard time over 1 months HOAs that they took 1 YEAR to let you know they didn't receive. Demand they remove the fines as they did not cash the check in a timely manner nor inform on a regular basis that they needed those funds. I would then set up a payment plan with them.


reeneejune - February 14, 2011 at 8:00pm

Honey [/b]- I haven't been around much lately, but I had to comment on your feeling of unwelcomness and desire to leave the boards. I'd just like to share that I personally really enjoy all of you input and advice. I honestly miss the "Honey Lists" of how to do just about anything. I remember with a chuckle your "How to decontaminate a previously drug invested home safely" list you posted, oh, goodness, a year or more ago. Your common sense and ability to present instructions in concise, step by step lists is really helpful for my personal learning style. I love hearing about your adventures with your temporary children, helping them to learn about the American way of life.

I would challenge us, as a group, to individually evaluate how welcoming and accepting we are of others. We are a diverse group with a few things in common. Remember that we all bring a different view point and a different set of life experiences. And if for some reason you disagree with some one else's opinion, learn to speak your own opinion with respect towards others and be careful not to belittle or discount anyone's advice or experiences simply because you disagree.

Honey, I don't want you to leave. I can understand the need to take a break occasionally. I personally choose not to venture very far from this group because here I am connected and known. And I know that at the end of the day or week or month, I've got a group of friends that are rooting for me, even if they don't always agree with my decisions.


singlemomky - February 14, 2011 at 9:20pm

Reenee [/b]- I think you are sooo right in making sure we don't get caught up in our familiarity w/each other to deter new(er) members but I think Honey was referring to her Condo Board and not this thread.


reeneejune - February 15, 2011 at 12:35am

ah, well, one of my many talents is inserting my foot into my mouth. *shrug*


singlemomky - February 15, 2011 at 8:49am

Reenee[/b] - no biggie; I still think you had a very valid point that we all need to be aware of how new posters will fit in to the group. We can all stand to have that reminder from time to time!


azmom - February 15, 2011 at 10:50am

HONEY: **HUGS***
Renee: Awe foot in mouth syndrome...I am a lifetime member! Although I agree you have very valid points and I too enjoy Honey's post!


dakota4600 - February 16, 2011 at 9:43am

Honey[/b]- Good luck quitting smoking. I hope things work out with the condo board. Personally I'd stick around just because it is obvious they wanted me gone, but I can be stubborn.