Post by Honeylioness on Jul 26, 2010 8:38:54 GMT -5
I saw this article this morning .... Who knew I was ahead of a "trend" as noted by the * next to some of these items. (See my comments after the list)
36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down
By Erin Meanley
I'm back on the market. But I don't really feel like being on the market. So what can I do, in between relationships, to "up" my resale value, or just do for myself? I made a list of some must-have experiences for women who are single and have a little time on their hands. Here goes:
To Build Your Confidence…
1. * Go to a movie alone.
2. Lift weights. When I bench-press 45 lbs., I feel like the bomb.
3. Try surfing, water-skiing, or some activity you don't already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle.
4. * Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase.
5. * Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family.
6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.
7. * Go to a scary doctor's appointment by yourself. I once dragged myself to a CAT Scan in the dead of winter, all the way over on 1st Ave., post-break-up. I felt like I was made of steel.
8. * Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else's livelihood).
9. * Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I was nervous on my first solo trip to Europe, even though I almost always have to travel alone.
10. * Learn to stand up for yourself. (If you're not naturally assertive, may I recommend moving to New York City? It did wonders for me.)
To Be Able to Look Back and Say "I Had Fun"…
11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland
12. * Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. I'm pretty sure no man will be able to stand as much Bravo TV as my roommate Erica.
13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for Santas, or something similar.
14. * Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.
15. * Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.
16. * Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.
To Get Perspective…
17. * Be a good wing woman. It's not always about you.
18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows "alone"!
19. * Volunteer.
To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy…
20. * Do at least one Valentine's Day alone.
21. * Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.
22. * Date the creeps. You'll really value the nice guys afterward.
23. * Buy yourself some flowers.
24. * Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.
25. * Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. Cool.
26. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
To Make the Most of Your Free Time…
27. Finish all your schooling if you can. Not that it was ever my goal to go to grad school, but I did, and it would've been tough dragging a guy up to isolated New Hampshire and making him sit there in the cold for two years while I studied (and partied).
28. * Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college.
To Make Yourself a Better Partner in the Future…
29. Make a list of all your faults.
30. * Learn to cook well. I'm still working on this.
31. * Get some hobbies. Something's gotta keep you occupied—plus it'll make you seem interesting.
32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile. My dear friend Cheryl has caught a few doozies.
33. * Get your finances in order.
To Appreciate Being Single…
34. * Babysit someone's baby for an hour.
35. * Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.
36. * Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other.
*************************************
Okay, let's see what I have managed to check off thus far:
1. Done that more than once.
4. As the cats do not seem inclined to help around the house I have been on my own for quite some time when it comes to home maintenance, improvements and the like
5. I wonder if having your friends help you move disqualifies me? I don't think so - because family HAS to help you move, friends can always plead another engagement.
7. Did this about seven years ago when I went to the dermatologist alone and learned I had a "wonky" mole that had to be removed. Then took myself to the biopsy and removal and home - all by myself
8. I quit my job in Seattle to move back to Massachusetts. And it is probably still up for debate whether I quit or was fired from W
9. Did this for my 40th birthday.
10. This one is a bit "fuzzier" for me. While I can do it regarding a lot of situations I still have a hard time doing it at work.
12. For me it's not the reality shows - but the cop / forensic / murder investigation shows. And PBS.
15. LOVE older men. They are so much more confident in themselves they are not so likely to be put off by your confidence.
19. Done and ongoing
20. Done ... dozens of times over
21. Ditto #20. Though the last wedding I went to was a family wedding that I attended with my parents, but I think that counts since the intent I believe is to go "stag".
22. Done - I am considering it research for my upcoming novel of dating horror stories
23. I should loosen up the budget and do this one more often.
24. My LBD is not super slinky but I do love it and always feel great wearing it.
25. Been there done that ... though I usually have champagne. Actually, the greater feat is eating at a nice restaurant alone. And NO, Applebee's does not count.
28. I think my quilting covers this and #31
30. DONE
31. Again, my quilting and newest direction of beading things covers this.
33. Done/Ongoing. While I may not be happy about the current state at least I know what that state is.
34. Not done recently - but I do see the author's point
35. OY ... SOOOOOO done doing this one!
36. Have done in the past. I should look into doing it again.
*****************************************************
*
While I cannot currently see myself training for a half or even micro-marathon, or going to Burning Man I do see the author's overall point.
Too many women see to have their lives on "hold" waiting for Mr. Right. You need to enjoy the life you have at the moment and do things YOU like to do because as she says, there may not be the time or opportunity later.
36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down
By Erin Meanley
I'm back on the market. But I don't really feel like being on the market. So what can I do, in between relationships, to "up" my resale value, or just do for myself? I made a list of some must-have experiences for women who are single and have a little time on their hands. Here goes:
To Build Your Confidence…
1. * Go to a movie alone.
2. Lift weights. When I bench-press 45 lbs., I feel like the bomb.
3. Try surfing, water-skiing, or some activity you don't already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle.
4. * Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase.
5. * Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family.
6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.
7. * Go to a scary doctor's appointment by yourself. I once dragged myself to a CAT Scan in the dead of winter, all the way over on 1st Ave., post-break-up. I felt like I was made of steel.
8. * Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else's livelihood).
9. * Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I was nervous on my first solo trip to Europe, even though I almost always have to travel alone.
10. * Learn to stand up for yourself. (If you're not naturally assertive, may I recommend moving to New York City? It did wonders for me.)
To Be Able to Look Back and Say "I Had Fun"…
11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland
12. * Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. I'm pretty sure no man will be able to stand as much Bravo TV as my roommate Erica.
13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for Santas, or something similar.
14. * Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.
15. * Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.
16. * Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.
To Get Perspective…
17. * Be a good wing woman. It's not always about you.
18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows "alone"!
19. * Volunteer.
To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy…
20. * Do at least one Valentine's Day alone.
21. * Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.
22. * Date the creeps. You'll really value the nice guys afterward.
23. * Buy yourself some flowers.
24. * Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.
25. * Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. Cool.
26. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
To Make the Most of Your Free Time…
27. Finish all your schooling if you can. Not that it was ever my goal to go to grad school, but I did, and it would've been tough dragging a guy up to isolated New Hampshire and making him sit there in the cold for two years while I studied (and partied).
28. * Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college.
To Make Yourself a Better Partner in the Future…
29. Make a list of all your faults.
30. * Learn to cook well. I'm still working on this.
31. * Get some hobbies. Something's gotta keep you occupied—plus it'll make you seem interesting.
32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile. My dear friend Cheryl has caught a few doozies.
33. * Get your finances in order.
To Appreciate Being Single…
34. * Babysit someone's baby for an hour.
35. * Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.
36. * Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other.
*************************************
Okay, let's see what I have managed to check off thus far:
1. Done that more than once.
4. As the cats do not seem inclined to help around the house I have been on my own for quite some time when it comes to home maintenance, improvements and the like
5. I wonder if having your friends help you move disqualifies me? I don't think so - because family HAS to help you move, friends can always plead another engagement.
7. Did this about seven years ago when I went to the dermatologist alone and learned I had a "wonky" mole that had to be removed. Then took myself to the biopsy and removal and home - all by myself
8. I quit my job in Seattle to move back to Massachusetts. And it is probably still up for debate whether I quit or was fired from W
9. Did this for my 40th birthday.
10. This one is a bit "fuzzier" for me. While I can do it regarding a lot of situations I still have a hard time doing it at work.
12. For me it's not the reality shows - but the cop / forensic / murder investigation shows. And PBS.
15. LOVE older men. They are so much more confident in themselves they are not so likely to be put off by your confidence.
19. Done and ongoing
20. Done ... dozens of times over
21. Ditto #20. Though the last wedding I went to was a family wedding that I attended with my parents, but I think that counts since the intent I believe is to go "stag".
22. Done - I am considering it research for my upcoming novel of dating horror stories
23. I should loosen up the budget and do this one more often.
24. My LBD is not super slinky but I do love it and always feel great wearing it.
25. Been there done that ... though I usually have champagne. Actually, the greater feat is eating at a nice restaurant alone. And NO, Applebee's does not count.
28. I think my quilting covers this and #31
30. DONE
31. Again, my quilting and newest direction of beading things covers this.
33. Done/Ongoing. While I may not be happy about the current state at least I know what that state is.
34. Not done recently - but I do see the author's point
35. OY ... SOOOOOO done doing this one!
36. Have done in the past. I should look into doing it again.
*****************************************************
*
While I cannot currently see myself training for a half or even micro-marathon, or going to Burning Man I do see the author's overall point.
Too many women see to have their lives on "hold" waiting for Mr. Right. You need to enjoy the life you have at the moment and do things YOU like to do because as she says, there may not be the time or opportunity later.