Post by Honeylioness on Feb 2, 2010 18:38:06 GMT -5
01 February 2010
Achy and chilled all day. Drank plenty of water and juice and stayed in bed much of the day with two four footed nurses snuggling and caring for me. Be back tomorrow.
02 February 2010
Evidently I am recovered. Both nurses abandoned me to lounge on the deck in the sun. It was funny this morning when I got dressed they both watched (to make sure it was for real, I guess) then made a dash for the door. Neither asked to come in for the next 3 hours. They both are now snoozing on the bed. I guess nursing is exhausting work.
04 February 2010
I am ROTFL. All this talk of dogs and cats in the bathroom, I have to share. Every time I visit the bathroom Onyx makes a dash to beat me there. I guess she thinks as long as i am sitting there doing "nothing" it is perfect lap time. She will lean against my knee with her paws stretched up asking to be picked up. If I give in she starts purring loud enough to make the towel bars rattle. They both sit outside the shower "scolding" me for getting wet all over on purpose.
18 February 2010
TJ has stopped eating well again. I will give him a few more days then I will call the vet. She keeps warning me that he has lived a good long life. I know he has and I don't want to keep him around just for my sake. But he does not act like he is suffering. Such a hard decision.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/18/10 09:20 PM
SES_,[/b] T.J. Awww...sinking heart...I know he is an old warrior kitty, a venerable soul of the first order. It's still so hard to hear and must be so hard for you to watch. For sure, he may be one who is just at leisure, winding down a little and if he purrs readily, eyes seem clear, functions not worrisome, he may yet cheer your days for many to come. Dear TJ Kitty, have many good days yet. Spring is coming, T.J.
SES_Books - 02/18/10 10:11 PM
Gin-[/b]-I don't think there are really any treatments left for him, just time. He will soon be 20 years old. Any treatments would be more for my sake than his. I will get out the baby food and hand feed him next. I don't think he is hurting, he still gets up in the bed to snuggle at night, but most of the day is spent snoozing in his basket or curled up in whatever room I happen to be in. I really think this weekend will be the time for a decision. I can really sympathize with Angel and Old Man Dog.
cdarrow26 - 02/18/10 10:35 PM
SES I am in a similar situation with my kitty, Em. He's almost 18 and has been diabetic for 5 years. Although he has not stopped eating, he is getting very thin, I think he's deaf, and seems a little senile. He will wander around the house howling in the middle of the night. He doesn't seem to be suffering or in pain but I just don't know when or how I will know when it's "time". He doesn't do anything except exist. It's a tough, tough decision. Just know that we are here for you and know what you are going through...
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/18/10 11:49 PM
cdarrow[/b], Aw...so sorry to hear that about Kitty Em, too. How hard. You will get "the look." We did with our beloved Will E. Cat when he was passing of cancer. I had been called away for the weekend. I got a frantic call from DD. Did the long drive home, went into the kitchen (we had our very thin kitty on a bed with one of those portable heat towers (this was February 21st, 2006) and got "the look." It is a mix of "please help me to go" and kitty's fear/realization that things are shutting down quickly (you detect a bit of panic in the eyes.) You'll know. You never think you will, but you'll know. Until then, though, and as long as you are satisfied there isn't pain or serious discomfort, it's fine to just take it one day at a time and take as much pleasure in each other's company as the sense of approaching sadder days allows. It is never, ever easy and never gets easier.
19 February 2010[/u]
Busy day today. Much time spent holding a sleeping TJ. Monthly lunch with a GF. Washed the car. Visited the grocery store. Did the laundry in a machine that has not yet been repaired, I hope he finds the part needed soon. I'm ready for the snow to start. I think I will make crumpets sometime this week when it snows, they sound yummy. I am trying to get everything finished so I can watch the snow fall. Just watch, if I get things done we won't get any snow.
20 February 2010
Brief TJ update. He is mostly sleeping (usually in the room i am in). He does not appear to be in pain. When I pet him, he immediately starts purring, LOUD. He is not eating, yet has energy to hop, or climb, to his favorite spots in the sun. Last night he "held hands" almost all night. This means he holds my wrist down and wiggles his head under my palm(so it is easy for me to rub his ears, I guess) and if I try to move my wrist the claws are gently extended to remind me that my wrist is exactly where it should be. I think Onyx knows something is going on. I have an appointment with the vet on Monday, this might probably be his last. I think his crossing is now more MY issues than his health. I may not be around much this weekend, depending on how needy he is(or I am).
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/20/10 09:37 PM
SES_[/b], Clearly TJ is making the very most of his time with you. Could he simply be going through a disinterested phase, food-wise? Understandly, his outstandingly long and happy years with you weigh on your observations. I am pondering if TJ is just ever so imperceptibly winding down in a completely peaceful way like a grandfather clock.
21 February 2010
Quick check in while both "kids" are curled up on the bed sleeping, not together but about 6" apart facing each other. It has been amusing this weekend to see the way they are acting. When ever I go somewhere, even to the bathroom, there is a parade--me, TJ, and Onyx bringing up the rear. She has been doing a good job of monitoring him.
22 February 2010
Today is the day. TJ has an appt with the vet in about 4 hours. His mouth is in such terrible condition, he must be in terrible pain. I have accepted the fact that it would be cruel to ask that he be patched up to go through this all again next month. I am amazed that he is not being mean and troublesome considering the pain he must be dealing with. The really hard thing to deal with is accepting that much of this is my fault. I should have been more proactive about getting his teeth cleaned throughout his life. Even though he was born a feral cat and very much objected to seeing the vet, I should have sucked it up more and gotten him the care he needed but didn't want. We spent a lot of time yesterday snuggling and washing his bloody face and neck. He was so accepting. I'm starting to blubber, more later.
startsmart - 02/22/10 11:35 AM
SES-[/b] Sorry but I had a little chat with TJ and he says this is NOT your fault. All creatures, large and small, go through this process. You were kind and loving and brought him into your home, gave him kibble and snuggles and didn't even object when he brought home a friend in Miss Onyx. Don't let your last precious hours be filled of "could have, should have" thoughts, just snuggle with your kitty
mrslynch - 02/22/10 11:52 AM
SES-[/b]-my biggest hugs to you and tj and onyx. and you must always know that you did nothing wrong and he loves you very much. you are perhaps the best cat mommy ever. what you are doing is out of nothing but love for little tj. i agree with startsmart, do not let your last hours be of the "i should have done this" nature. make his last hours about the things he loved the most. you are being blessed with the ability to say goodbye in your own way; i wouldn't spend one second on regret.
red_wagon - 02/22/10 11:55 AM
SES [/b]- don't blame yourself. You've taken excellent care of TJ, who is a very old cat. It's just his time. It happens. And it is not your fault! Lots of hugs to you today. I dread the day my kitty goes (my parents' kitty now).
3catslady - 02/22/10 12:59 PM
SES; You did everything you could for TJ. He loves you very much and just wants to be by your side when the time comes. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. It is just the same with me saying if I had watched what my DH ate those last few years and made him exercise, he would still be alive today. But that is not mine to say. I am trying to keep "should've, would've, could've" out of my language because they are negative. I want to be more positive. Be positive that you gave TJ all the love you had to give him. Thank him for bringing Miss Onyx to you. Just snuggle him as close as you can from all of us.
Gin1984 - 02/22/10 01:45 PM
SES[/b]- It is not your fault. He was a feral cat and you brought him into your house and your heart. Often outside cats live only 2-4 years. You gave him love and support and helped him live a good life for a good amount of time. Hugs*
shanendoah - 02/22/10 02:07 PM
SES -[/b] I know how you feel. I still have days when I want to beat myself up for not paying closer attention to what Moree was doing in the spare room (eating a bath towel), not taking him to the vet sooner, or not going to visit him at the vet that morning before we went to help a friend move. ('m crying thinking about it and its been 3 months.) So I'll tell you the same thing I tell myself - you made the best decision you could with the information you had. You have given TJ the most important thing there is - a safe and loving home. You made his life the best it could be, and now, despite how hard it is for you, you will make his passing the most peaceful it can be. There is nothing more you can do. He will go knowing he was loved, and that is the best any of us can hope for.
Red2Black2011 - 02/22/10 02:41 PM
SES:[/b] You and TJ are in my thoughts. SES, as the Ladies have said, this is Not Your Fault!!! TJ loves you and just wants to be near you. Listen closely and you'll hear him say, I Love You.
SES_Books - 02/22/10 05:22 PM
I am home minus one family member. Onyx is sleeping and does not yet realize he is gone. After being an important part of my life for the past 20 years I decided he deserved the honor and dignity of a cremation. This summer I might scatter his ashes under his favorite relaxing bush, or maybe not. They will be presented to me by the end of the week. Some will consider the cost a foolish expenditure but I figure it is the cost of his meds for the next three months. Three months where the quality of his life would not be that great. Honey, I did tell Onyx what was happening and she is sleeping in "his" spot on the bed. The vet told me that she would be upset for a few days. On my way home i stopped for some Kahlua Chocolate Latte and potato chips and now having a wake for TJ. And a piece of pecan pie (my ultimate comfort food).
I like to think that in the big cosmic picture of things this is the reason TJ invited Onyx into our family--or allowed her to bully her way into the family. I need to quit before the tears short circuit my keyboard. Later.
MuttleynFelix - 02/22/10 05:24 PM
SES-[/b] Hugs. Broken heart
cdarrow26 - 02/22/10 05:26 PM
SES [/b] You are in my thoughts...Red rose You were a good kitty mama
azmomx3 - 02/22/10 05:33 PM
Awe SES[/b] **BIG HUGS**
sapphire12 - 02/22/10 05:33 PM
SES -[/b]- s to you and Onyx during this time. I think Onyx knows; animals know before we do. The expense is justified; it will help you with closure. TJ is in a better place now; may he rest in peace. Many of us have been there and we too are shedding tears. Take care of yourself.
startsmart - 02/22/10 05:56 PM
SES,[/b] revel in your comfort food and your comforting kitty. You'll always have the adventures of TJ and Onxy and I think the cremation was a wonderful tribute to a wonderful kitty.
Angel 33 - 02/22/10 06:24 PM
SES [/b] I agree with the other ladies, it is not your fault. You gave him years of love, snuggles, food, and shelter. He loved you and knew you loved him too.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/22/10 06:46 PM
SES[/b]_, We chose cremation for Will E. Cat and it was a great decision. It was late February, too. For Nermal, it was the end of July, so it was possible to honor him permanently at his favorite part of the back garden. That was a great decision, too.
23 February 2010
Good morning, all. It is a beautiful, although cold, bright sunshiny day. As long as we get abundant sunshine I don't mind the cold. It was strange to get up and not have to fix chicken soup to tempt TJ this morning. Bur I know he is not hurting anymore. Onyx has remained very close all night and this morning. She wants to be held a lot and while being held she keeps reaching up to "pet" my face. She is pretty much staying in whatever room I am in. I think we will get through things together.
02/23/10 05:49 PM
I had to move a step stool next to my desk chair so Onyx can climb into my lap whenever she wants as I work at the desk, which is most of the time today. She has visited all of TJ's favorite sites several times already. I had planned to clean up after him today but decided to wait until she is more comfortable with his absence
25 February 2010
I want to extend a big Thank You to everyone for messages of condolence, concern and support here and in e-mails. It meant a great deal to me. I know TJ was just a cat, but he was my family for 20 years. I never realized just what a jolt his passing would be. Onyx and I are beginning to come out of the fog. I will get the ashes in a couple of days and my sister (she is such a talented photographer) is already working on TJ's photographic portrait and plans to get more shots of Onyx this summer. She read Honey's story and ask me when she had met TJ because the story had captured him perfectly.
Achy and chilled all day. Drank plenty of water and juice and stayed in bed much of the day with two four footed nurses snuggling and caring for me. Be back tomorrow.
02 February 2010
Evidently I am recovered. Both nurses abandoned me to lounge on the deck in the sun. It was funny this morning when I got dressed they both watched (to make sure it was for real, I guess) then made a dash for the door. Neither asked to come in for the next 3 hours. They both are now snoozing on the bed. I guess nursing is exhausting work.
04 February 2010
I am ROTFL. All this talk of dogs and cats in the bathroom, I have to share. Every time I visit the bathroom Onyx makes a dash to beat me there. I guess she thinks as long as i am sitting there doing "nothing" it is perfect lap time. She will lean against my knee with her paws stretched up asking to be picked up. If I give in she starts purring loud enough to make the towel bars rattle. They both sit outside the shower "scolding" me for getting wet all over on purpose.
18 February 2010
TJ has stopped eating well again. I will give him a few more days then I will call the vet. She keeps warning me that he has lived a good long life. I know he has and I don't want to keep him around just for my sake. But he does not act like he is suffering. Such a hard decision.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/18/10 09:20 PM
SES_,[/b] T.J. Awww...sinking heart...I know he is an old warrior kitty, a venerable soul of the first order. It's still so hard to hear and must be so hard for you to watch. For sure, he may be one who is just at leisure, winding down a little and if he purrs readily, eyes seem clear, functions not worrisome, he may yet cheer your days for many to come. Dear TJ Kitty, have many good days yet. Spring is coming, T.J.
SES_Books - 02/18/10 10:11 PM
Gin-[/b]-I don't think there are really any treatments left for him, just time. He will soon be 20 years old. Any treatments would be more for my sake than his. I will get out the baby food and hand feed him next. I don't think he is hurting, he still gets up in the bed to snuggle at night, but most of the day is spent snoozing in his basket or curled up in whatever room I happen to be in. I really think this weekend will be the time for a decision. I can really sympathize with Angel and Old Man Dog.
cdarrow26 - 02/18/10 10:35 PM
SES I am in a similar situation with my kitty, Em. He's almost 18 and has been diabetic for 5 years. Although he has not stopped eating, he is getting very thin, I think he's deaf, and seems a little senile. He will wander around the house howling in the middle of the night. He doesn't seem to be suffering or in pain but I just don't know when or how I will know when it's "time". He doesn't do anything except exist. It's a tough, tough decision. Just know that we are here for you and know what you are going through...
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/18/10 11:49 PM
cdarrow[/b], Aw...so sorry to hear that about Kitty Em, too. How hard. You will get "the look." We did with our beloved Will E. Cat when he was passing of cancer. I had been called away for the weekend. I got a frantic call from DD. Did the long drive home, went into the kitchen (we had our very thin kitty on a bed with one of those portable heat towers (this was February 21st, 2006) and got "the look." It is a mix of "please help me to go" and kitty's fear/realization that things are shutting down quickly (you detect a bit of panic in the eyes.) You'll know. You never think you will, but you'll know. Until then, though, and as long as you are satisfied there isn't pain or serious discomfort, it's fine to just take it one day at a time and take as much pleasure in each other's company as the sense of approaching sadder days allows. It is never, ever easy and never gets easier.
19 February 2010[/u]
Busy day today. Much time spent holding a sleeping TJ. Monthly lunch with a GF. Washed the car. Visited the grocery store. Did the laundry in a machine that has not yet been repaired, I hope he finds the part needed soon. I'm ready for the snow to start. I think I will make crumpets sometime this week when it snows, they sound yummy. I am trying to get everything finished so I can watch the snow fall. Just watch, if I get things done we won't get any snow.
20 February 2010
Brief TJ update. He is mostly sleeping (usually in the room i am in). He does not appear to be in pain. When I pet him, he immediately starts purring, LOUD. He is not eating, yet has energy to hop, or climb, to his favorite spots in the sun. Last night he "held hands" almost all night. This means he holds my wrist down and wiggles his head under my palm(so it is easy for me to rub his ears, I guess) and if I try to move my wrist the claws are gently extended to remind me that my wrist is exactly where it should be. I think Onyx knows something is going on. I have an appointment with the vet on Monday, this might probably be his last. I think his crossing is now more MY issues than his health. I may not be around much this weekend, depending on how needy he is(or I am).
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/20/10 09:37 PM
SES_[/b], Clearly TJ is making the very most of his time with you. Could he simply be going through a disinterested phase, food-wise? Understandly, his outstandingly long and happy years with you weigh on your observations. I am pondering if TJ is just ever so imperceptibly winding down in a completely peaceful way like a grandfather clock.
21 February 2010
Quick check in while both "kids" are curled up on the bed sleeping, not together but about 6" apart facing each other. It has been amusing this weekend to see the way they are acting. When ever I go somewhere, even to the bathroom, there is a parade--me, TJ, and Onyx bringing up the rear. She has been doing a good job of monitoring him.
22 February 2010
Today is the day. TJ has an appt with the vet in about 4 hours. His mouth is in such terrible condition, he must be in terrible pain. I have accepted the fact that it would be cruel to ask that he be patched up to go through this all again next month. I am amazed that he is not being mean and troublesome considering the pain he must be dealing with. The really hard thing to deal with is accepting that much of this is my fault. I should have been more proactive about getting his teeth cleaned throughout his life. Even though he was born a feral cat and very much objected to seeing the vet, I should have sucked it up more and gotten him the care he needed but didn't want. We spent a lot of time yesterday snuggling and washing his bloody face and neck. He was so accepting. I'm starting to blubber, more later.
startsmart - 02/22/10 11:35 AM
SES-[/b] Sorry but I had a little chat with TJ and he says this is NOT your fault. All creatures, large and small, go through this process. You were kind and loving and brought him into your home, gave him kibble and snuggles and didn't even object when he brought home a friend in Miss Onyx. Don't let your last precious hours be filled of "could have, should have" thoughts, just snuggle with your kitty
mrslynch - 02/22/10 11:52 AM
SES-[/b]-my biggest hugs to you and tj and onyx. and you must always know that you did nothing wrong and he loves you very much. you are perhaps the best cat mommy ever. what you are doing is out of nothing but love for little tj. i agree with startsmart, do not let your last hours be of the "i should have done this" nature. make his last hours about the things he loved the most. you are being blessed with the ability to say goodbye in your own way; i wouldn't spend one second on regret.
red_wagon - 02/22/10 11:55 AM
SES [/b]- don't blame yourself. You've taken excellent care of TJ, who is a very old cat. It's just his time. It happens. And it is not your fault! Lots of hugs to you today. I dread the day my kitty goes (my parents' kitty now).
3catslady - 02/22/10 12:59 PM
SES; You did everything you could for TJ. He loves you very much and just wants to be by your side when the time comes. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. It is just the same with me saying if I had watched what my DH ate those last few years and made him exercise, he would still be alive today. But that is not mine to say. I am trying to keep "should've, would've, could've" out of my language because they are negative. I want to be more positive. Be positive that you gave TJ all the love you had to give him. Thank him for bringing Miss Onyx to you. Just snuggle him as close as you can from all of us.
Gin1984 - 02/22/10 01:45 PM
SES[/b]- It is not your fault. He was a feral cat and you brought him into your house and your heart. Often outside cats live only 2-4 years. You gave him love and support and helped him live a good life for a good amount of time. Hugs*
shanendoah - 02/22/10 02:07 PM
SES -[/b] I know how you feel. I still have days when I want to beat myself up for not paying closer attention to what Moree was doing in the spare room (eating a bath towel), not taking him to the vet sooner, or not going to visit him at the vet that morning before we went to help a friend move. ('m crying thinking about it and its been 3 months.) So I'll tell you the same thing I tell myself - you made the best decision you could with the information you had. You have given TJ the most important thing there is - a safe and loving home. You made his life the best it could be, and now, despite how hard it is for you, you will make his passing the most peaceful it can be. There is nothing more you can do. He will go knowing he was loved, and that is the best any of us can hope for.
Red2Black2011 - 02/22/10 02:41 PM
SES:[/b] You and TJ are in my thoughts. SES, as the Ladies have said, this is Not Your Fault!!! TJ loves you and just wants to be near you. Listen closely and you'll hear him say, I Love You.
SES_Books - 02/22/10 05:22 PM
I am home minus one family member. Onyx is sleeping and does not yet realize he is gone. After being an important part of my life for the past 20 years I decided he deserved the honor and dignity of a cremation. This summer I might scatter his ashes under his favorite relaxing bush, or maybe not. They will be presented to me by the end of the week. Some will consider the cost a foolish expenditure but I figure it is the cost of his meds for the next three months. Three months where the quality of his life would not be that great. Honey, I did tell Onyx what was happening and she is sleeping in "his" spot on the bed. The vet told me that she would be upset for a few days. On my way home i stopped for some Kahlua Chocolate Latte and potato chips and now having a wake for TJ. And a piece of pecan pie (my ultimate comfort food).
I like to think that in the big cosmic picture of things this is the reason TJ invited Onyx into our family--or allowed her to bully her way into the family. I need to quit before the tears short circuit my keyboard. Later.
MuttleynFelix - 02/22/10 05:24 PM
SES-[/b] Hugs. Broken heart
cdarrow26 - 02/22/10 05:26 PM
SES [/b] You are in my thoughts...Red rose You were a good kitty mama
azmomx3 - 02/22/10 05:33 PM
Awe SES[/b] **BIG HUGS**
sapphire12 - 02/22/10 05:33 PM
SES -[/b]- s to you and Onyx during this time. I think Onyx knows; animals know before we do. The expense is justified; it will help you with closure. TJ is in a better place now; may he rest in peace. Many of us have been there and we too are shedding tears. Take care of yourself.
startsmart - 02/22/10 05:56 PM
SES,[/b] revel in your comfort food and your comforting kitty. You'll always have the adventures of TJ and Onxy and I think the cremation was a wonderful tribute to a wonderful kitty.
Angel 33 - 02/22/10 06:24 PM
SES [/b] I agree with the other ladies, it is not your fault. You gave him years of love, snuggles, food, and shelter. He loved you and knew you loved him too.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 02/22/10 06:46 PM
SES[/b]_, We chose cremation for Will E. Cat and it was a great decision. It was late February, too. For Nermal, it was the end of July, so it was possible to honor him permanently at his favorite part of the back garden. That was a great decision, too.
23 February 2010
Good morning, all. It is a beautiful, although cold, bright sunshiny day. As long as we get abundant sunshine I don't mind the cold. It was strange to get up and not have to fix chicken soup to tempt TJ this morning. Bur I know he is not hurting anymore. Onyx has remained very close all night and this morning. She wants to be held a lot and while being held she keeps reaching up to "pet" my face. She is pretty much staying in whatever room I am in. I think we will get through things together.
02/23/10 05:49 PM
I had to move a step stool next to my desk chair so Onyx can climb into my lap whenever she wants as I work at the desk, which is most of the time today. She has visited all of TJ's favorite sites several times already. I had planned to clean up after him today but decided to wait until she is more comfortable with his absence
25 February 2010
I want to extend a big Thank You to everyone for messages of condolence, concern and support here and in e-mails. It meant a great deal to me. I know TJ was just a cat, but he was my family for 20 years. I never realized just what a jolt his passing would be. Onyx and I are beginning to come out of the fog. I will get the ashes in a couple of days and my sister (she is such a talented photographer) is already working on TJ's photographic portrait and plans to get more shots of Onyx this summer. She read Honey's story and ask me when she had met TJ because the story had captured him perfectly.