Post by Honeylioness on Jan 7, 2010 23:40:07 GMT -5
azmomx3 - 01/07/10 05:51 PM
All: I was thinking it could be beneficial to our newbie's to share what we have learned since joining this thread or tips to help them achieve NSD. When I first started we used to talk more about the "how to's" and that really helped me out tremendously. I love how we have all become so invested in each others lives so it is easier for us who have been around a while know were each other is coming from but for newbie's maybe not so much. Also, maybe start the Question of the Week and Challenge of the Week up again?
As for me, when I first started we lived out in BFE and spent the majority of time in the car. We ate out more times than not and had no real plan when grocery shopping and therefore a bunch of food went to waste. We also spent out of habit (like when we put gas we would get a soda and snack, or anywhere we would get a snack, even if we weren't hungry or thirsty). After joining it was very difficult to get a NSD because I didn't even realize how much money was being wasted on our habits. It took a while to curb that and to retrain our entire family. Next came planning. I started to bring our own snacks to hold us over until we got home for dinner. I also had to learn to come up with a meal planning system/grocery list that worked for me. I asked several questions over a few months period to get ideas and tweak what finally worked. When I first started my kids used to ask where we were eating for dinner, now eating out is rare for us. I should mention that not everyone here is in debt. I am so I try to balance a tighter budget while still living our lives and paying down all of our debt.
To achieve NSD (for me that is an absolute $0) I look at the calendar and write out all of our plans for that month and absolute spend days and then I try to bundle things like grocery shopping, etc on days that will already be a spend day.
I guess mostly I just want to make sure if you have a goal you are trying to achieve or have questions, you have a found a safe place to ask and get a random range of answers to help you fine tune anything to fit your needs.
bonbon78 - 01/07/10 07:23 PM
azmom-i think it's a great idea to share what we've gained with the newbies. for me, i have found a place where i can be excited to share that i saved $20 at the grocery store, or like mrsl, found i had a fantastic credit score, or like toasty, you understand that it's difficult and stressful to buy a car... you ladies also have shared so many tips and tricks, and that has allowed me to really begin to save money and carefully think before i spend it. i also used to spend at will on what was usually junk. now, i really think ahead and do my comparison shopping and plan ahead, which has actually made life much easier! i love it here, and thank you ladies for being so great to me.
dakota4600 - 01/07/10 08:28 PM
What I've learned- I joined last April as part of my Lenten sacrfice which was not to spend money on any wants and I've stayed. It probably took me 3 months to figure out a system that worked for me. I count NS ($0) and CS (under $10). I don't count paying monthly bills in the mix only shopping and eating out. I found that one big sink hole in our budget was eating out, so in August, I really started focusing on grocery shopping and meal prep. Now we are down to under $200 a month on eating out, which for us is a huge reduction, we were eating out 4+ times a week, now we are down 2 most weeks, Friday dinner and Sunday lunch. We've done this without increasing our grocery budget, just cooking the food in the house and eating the leftovers. Before we were throwing a bunch of food out, because we didn't use it in time. I do bundle my errands and now I've started setting a time limit, so that I don't mindlessly browse and buy unnecessary things. It is a slow process and while we aren't in debt, we are trying to save for a new to us car in a couple years and we like to travel, so these little changes are making a difference.
dea_81 - 01/07/10 08:37 PM[/u]
As for what I have gotten from this group. I still feel relatively new-ish, but it really has me thinking about how and why I spend money. My biggest problem is DH and I both talk each other into stuff sometimes(eating out, spending money). I need to stop procrastinating and sit down and make some goals for the year and rework the budget. It is nice to have somewhere to talk about saving money and goals. Dh isn't all that interested it goes in one ear out the other.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 01/07/10 09:08 PM
Hmm. The question. Finding all of you, oldies and newbies to just get through tough days and good days alike, makes my small world larger and richer.
SES_Books - 01/07/10 11:27 PM
As to what I have gained from this board--more than you can know. I started two years ago, one year before I took early retirement. I learned to live on 1/2 of my preretirement income and to stick with my budget so it wouldn't be such a shock when it became REAL. I am not carrying debt due to that year of "practice". It was such a relief to be able to talk with like minded people about financial issues and not get treated like someone who farted in church.(Yes, Nitza, i still feel like that) Here we are not keeping "score", just encouraging each other to do our personal best. No keeping up with anyone else, just our own past performance. We have such wide and various experiences and expertise we are willing to share, when someone else needs something usually we will find an opinion/answer or ten.
I think AZmom is on to something, we did tend to spend more time on the "how to" than we do now. Perhaps we should spend more time on that again instead of making this thread our personal clubhouse. This is a process that takes time to incorporate into our lives. It took two years for me to get a month where I was 100% on budget. This is a place where you will get support when you need it and a swift boot where and when it will do the most good when that is what you need. Each of us has to determine what is best for us and change behaviors to accomplish it. I always wonder if some of the people who pay off massive debt while on the boards ever really incorporate the skills we try to promote on this thread into their lives or will they be back in a few years to do it all over again.
startsmart - 01/08/10 12:06 AM
What I've learned:
finance is not like college, you don't get that "complete" feeling or a degree in frugality from Cheapo University. Instead it's like a very long, sometimes expensive, continuing education curriculum. So what I'm learning is to try out new subjects: traveling cheap, being a homeowner, gifting on a budget, cooking from scratch.... there are thousands of "classes" and while some may be more difficult to master it's a good idea to try them out. But just like a college student I've got to pace myself. No one can graduate in a semester and if I try to master 100 types of frugal behaviors in a month I'm going to fail out.
learning more about money, how to earn it, save it and spend it, is so much easier with friends. sharing is like the dear auntie who always has an encouraging word to share, honey is my encyclopedia brown book of knowledge, nsinglet brings a boat of compassion to each conversation, she's a calm and nurturing presence. red2black is the one reaching out beyond the obvious core subjects, stretching our conversations with topics and links that show how passionate she is about learning. mittenkitten is our faithful TA, the one who crosses the Ts and dots the Is and makes sure everyone is counted and welcome.
I could go on but I think what each of us learn from each other is the most enriching part of this experience. There's something comforting knowing there's a woman my age who is striving for the things I am striving for. Who encourages me and allows me to encourage her.
If I had to sum it up (ha!) I would say that being here, learning, is like being inducted into a class with no schedule, one that ebbs and flows every month. People come and go, issues are discussed and debated, but as long as someone is here learning how to better their life (financially or otherwise) I want to be part of the discussion.
red_wagon - 01/08/10 10:24 AM
Azmom [/b]- great idea. sometimes it seems we do lose some focus on here because we are so used to each other.
Once upon a time, there was a young twenty-something named Red who lived in a decent-sized one-bedroom apartment in the Big City. She went out with friends a few times a week, went clothes shopping at least once a week, and never thought twice about it. Until one day when she looked at her credit card bill and realized it was getting so high that the monthly payments were almost unaffordable.
"Hark!" she gasped. "Perhaps I can't actually afford this lifestyle!? Maybe... maybe I need to budget?!" But she felt lost and unsure of how to make a budget or curb her spending without seeming like the lazy, un-fun friend. But lo and behold, she stumbled upon the Women in Red message board, and then the No-Spend Thread, and there she learned many amazing and wondrous things.
She heard tales of women who had paid off thousands of dollars. She was regaled with advice on how to limit eating out, and how to host gatherings at home where snacks and drinks were much cheaper. She learned the magic of the budget, and how to say "No, I can't afford that this month." Meal plans became a natural thing for Red, as did using coupons and sale-shopping. She found she could make cute outfits from clothes she already had, and ceased to buy a new sweater every week. And she learned to be a big girl and get a more affordable apartment with roommates (and she didn't even kill them!). But the piece of wisdom that applies to all of these things is simply this: think about what you are spending, and ask yourself if it is a Want or a Need. And so Red did just that, for everything she wanted to buy.
And now, two years later, we find Red has bought a house with her boyfriend, and has decorated it quite nicely, without going further into debt (other than the mortgage, of course). She and her now-fiance have one car, and while it is frustrating sometimes, they know they have to save for the second car and can't just go finance it. She has gotten Blue on board with the debt payoff plan, and has explained to him the wonders of saving for specific goals and searching out the best deal. And while she still has not paid off as much debt as she'd have liked, she has much more in savings, and that debt has not increased, and is steadily going down.
And so Red is happy she stumbled upon this wondrous thread, and is eager to pass her lessons on to others.
MittenKitten - 01/08/10 02:59 PM
This thread, I found this thread over 2 years ago. I think I joined when it first started or shortly thereafter. (I think I took a couple month break) I was at that time trying to get our grocery budget in shape so we would not be taking money out of savings each month to pay for them. I had just stopped working at my steady job and we were going to be relaying on DF's income only. Being with the kids all day it was wonderful to be able to get some adult conversation with like minded people or people who were trying to better their financial situations. Now I continue to start it every month since it has been such a wonderful tool for so many people.
All: I was thinking it could be beneficial to our newbie's to share what we have learned since joining this thread or tips to help them achieve NSD. When I first started we used to talk more about the "how to's" and that really helped me out tremendously. I love how we have all become so invested in each others lives so it is easier for us who have been around a while know were each other is coming from but for newbie's maybe not so much. Also, maybe start the Question of the Week and Challenge of the Week up again?
As for me, when I first started we lived out in BFE and spent the majority of time in the car. We ate out more times than not and had no real plan when grocery shopping and therefore a bunch of food went to waste. We also spent out of habit (like when we put gas we would get a soda and snack, or anywhere we would get a snack, even if we weren't hungry or thirsty). After joining it was very difficult to get a NSD because I didn't even realize how much money was being wasted on our habits. It took a while to curb that and to retrain our entire family. Next came planning. I started to bring our own snacks to hold us over until we got home for dinner. I also had to learn to come up with a meal planning system/grocery list that worked for me. I asked several questions over a few months period to get ideas and tweak what finally worked. When I first started my kids used to ask where we were eating for dinner, now eating out is rare for us. I should mention that not everyone here is in debt. I am so I try to balance a tighter budget while still living our lives and paying down all of our debt.
To achieve NSD (for me that is an absolute $0) I look at the calendar and write out all of our plans for that month and absolute spend days and then I try to bundle things like grocery shopping, etc on days that will already be a spend day.
I guess mostly I just want to make sure if you have a goal you are trying to achieve or have questions, you have a found a safe place to ask and get a random range of answers to help you fine tune anything to fit your needs.
bonbon78 - 01/07/10 07:23 PM
azmom-i think it's a great idea to share what we've gained with the newbies. for me, i have found a place where i can be excited to share that i saved $20 at the grocery store, or like mrsl, found i had a fantastic credit score, or like toasty, you understand that it's difficult and stressful to buy a car... you ladies also have shared so many tips and tricks, and that has allowed me to really begin to save money and carefully think before i spend it. i also used to spend at will on what was usually junk. now, i really think ahead and do my comparison shopping and plan ahead, which has actually made life much easier! i love it here, and thank you ladies for being so great to me.
dakota4600 - 01/07/10 08:28 PM
What I've learned- I joined last April as part of my Lenten sacrfice which was not to spend money on any wants and I've stayed. It probably took me 3 months to figure out a system that worked for me. I count NS ($0) and CS (under $10). I don't count paying monthly bills in the mix only shopping and eating out. I found that one big sink hole in our budget was eating out, so in August, I really started focusing on grocery shopping and meal prep. Now we are down to under $200 a month on eating out, which for us is a huge reduction, we were eating out 4+ times a week, now we are down 2 most weeks, Friday dinner and Sunday lunch. We've done this without increasing our grocery budget, just cooking the food in the house and eating the leftovers. Before we were throwing a bunch of food out, because we didn't use it in time. I do bundle my errands and now I've started setting a time limit, so that I don't mindlessly browse and buy unnecessary things. It is a slow process and while we aren't in debt, we are trying to save for a new to us car in a couple years and we like to travel, so these little changes are making a difference.
dea_81 - 01/07/10 08:37 PM[/u]
As for what I have gotten from this group. I still feel relatively new-ish, but it really has me thinking about how and why I spend money. My biggest problem is DH and I both talk each other into stuff sometimes(eating out, spending money). I need to stop procrastinating and sit down and make some goals for the year and rework the budget. It is nice to have somewhere to talk about saving money and goals. Dh isn't all that interested it goes in one ear out the other.
Sharing the Simple Lifestyle - 01/07/10 09:08 PM
Hmm. The question. Finding all of you, oldies and newbies to just get through tough days and good days alike, makes my small world larger and richer.
SES_Books - 01/07/10 11:27 PM
As to what I have gained from this board--more than you can know. I started two years ago, one year before I took early retirement. I learned to live on 1/2 of my preretirement income and to stick with my budget so it wouldn't be such a shock when it became REAL. I am not carrying debt due to that year of "practice". It was such a relief to be able to talk with like minded people about financial issues and not get treated like someone who farted in church.(Yes, Nitza, i still feel like that) Here we are not keeping "score", just encouraging each other to do our personal best. No keeping up with anyone else, just our own past performance. We have such wide and various experiences and expertise we are willing to share, when someone else needs something usually we will find an opinion/answer or ten.
I think AZmom is on to something, we did tend to spend more time on the "how to" than we do now. Perhaps we should spend more time on that again instead of making this thread our personal clubhouse. This is a process that takes time to incorporate into our lives. It took two years for me to get a month where I was 100% on budget. This is a place where you will get support when you need it and a swift boot where and when it will do the most good when that is what you need. Each of us has to determine what is best for us and change behaviors to accomplish it. I always wonder if some of the people who pay off massive debt while on the boards ever really incorporate the skills we try to promote on this thread into their lives or will they be back in a few years to do it all over again.
startsmart - 01/08/10 12:06 AM
What I've learned:
finance is not like college, you don't get that "complete" feeling or a degree in frugality from Cheapo University. Instead it's like a very long, sometimes expensive, continuing education curriculum. So what I'm learning is to try out new subjects: traveling cheap, being a homeowner, gifting on a budget, cooking from scratch.... there are thousands of "classes" and while some may be more difficult to master it's a good idea to try them out. But just like a college student I've got to pace myself. No one can graduate in a semester and if I try to master 100 types of frugal behaviors in a month I'm going to fail out.
learning more about money, how to earn it, save it and spend it, is so much easier with friends. sharing is like the dear auntie who always has an encouraging word to share, honey is my encyclopedia brown book of knowledge, nsinglet brings a boat of compassion to each conversation, she's a calm and nurturing presence. red2black is the one reaching out beyond the obvious core subjects, stretching our conversations with topics and links that show how passionate she is about learning. mittenkitten is our faithful TA, the one who crosses the Ts and dots the Is and makes sure everyone is counted and welcome.
I could go on but I think what each of us learn from each other is the most enriching part of this experience. There's something comforting knowing there's a woman my age who is striving for the things I am striving for. Who encourages me and allows me to encourage her.
If I had to sum it up (ha!) I would say that being here, learning, is like being inducted into a class with no schedule, one that ebbs and flows every month. People come and go, issues are discussed and debated, but as long as someone is here learning how to better their life (financially or otherwise) I want to be part of the discussion.
red_wagon - 01/08/10 10:24 AM
Azmom [/b]- great idea. sometimes it seems we do lose some focus on here because we are so used to each other.
What I've Learned
by red_wagon
by red_wagon
Once upon a time, there was a young twenty-something named Red who lived in a decent-sized one-bedroom apartment in the Big City. She went out with friends a few times a week, went clothes shopping at least once a week, and never thought twice about it. Until one day when she looked at her credit card bill and realized it was getting so high that the monthly payments were almost unaffordable.
"Hark!" she gasped. "Perhaps I can't actually afford this lifestyle!? Maybe... maybe I need to budget?!" But she felt lost and unsure of how to make a budget or curb her spending without seeming like the lazy, un-fun friend. But lo and behold, she stumbled upon the Women in Red message board, and then the No-Spend Thread, and there she learned many amazing and wondrous things.
She heard tales of women who had paid off thousands of dollars. She was regaled with advice on how to limit eating out, and how to host gatherings at home where snacks and drinks were much cheaper. She learned the magic of the budget, and how to say "No, I can't afford that this month." Meal plans became a natural thing for Red, as did using coupons and sale-shopping. She found she could make cute outfits from clothes she already had, and ceased to buy a new sweater every week. And she learned to be a big girl and get a more affordable apartment with roommates (and she didn't even kill them!). But the piece of wisdom that applies to all of these things is simply this: think about what you are spending, and ask yourself if it is a Want or a Need. And so Red did just that, for everything she wanted to buy.
And now, two years later, we find Red has bought a house with her boyfriend, and has decorated it quite nicely, without going further into debt (other than the mortgage, of course). She and her now-fiance have one car, and while it is frustrating sometimes, they know they have to save for the second car and can't just go finance it. She has gotten Blue on board with the debt payoff plan, and has explained to him the wonders of saving for specific goals and searching out the best deal. And while she still has not paid off as much debt as she'd have liked, she has much more in savings, and that debt has not increased, and is steadily going down.
And so Red is happy she stumbled upon this wondrous thread, and is eager to pass her lessons on to others.
MittenKitten - 01/08/10 02:59 PM
This thread, I found this thread over 2 years ago. I think I joined when it first started or shortly thereafter. (I think I took a couple month break) I was at that time trying to get our grocery budget in shape so we would not be taking money out of savings each month to pay for them. I had just stopped working at my steady job and we were going to be relaying on DF's income only. Being with the kids all day it was wonderful to be able to get some adult conversation with like minded people or people who were trying to better their financial situations. Now I continue to start it every month since it has been such a wonderful tool for so many people.