startsmart - 12/09/09 01:21 AM 7 NSD, $0 grocery budget
warning: not so much of a rant but a WTF is happening self reflection
Tonight I was doing my homework for the boot camp and it's all just depressing me right now. Normally I can maintain a good balance with just about 60% of my full time job income going to bills and the rest is split between savings, investments and fluxuating spending. Well this month marks the start of some huge medical costs. Ones I didn't know the company wouldn't cover for me. So instead of that nice 60% my committed expenses are pushed up to 85-90%. And I'm sitting here, so stressed out because it seems impossible. I even feel like a liar because my $0 grocery budget isn't just a fun challenge, it's a necessity. I can't spend. And it's hard enough to use my gift savings for Christmas and put gas in the car so I can use a tank of it in 2 days and even pay for home internet even though I value those things.
So I'm at the point where I feel like a fraud because I can't contribute anything to retirement. I can't even keep sending money to my ING savings. I've got to figure out by Sunday if I'm going to commit to going to Europe with my Best Friend and I look at my savings and think "if I have car trouble my savings won't cover it" or "even if grandpa agrees to sell me his car I can't afford the payments and insurance." And I'm frustrated because I'm playing a game with no rules. I worked my arse off at my last company, did the right things, said the right things, had the right attitudes and made nice with the right people. Didn't matter. Now I'm still working hard and playing nice and they won't promote me (or give me hope of doing so) and won't give me a raise. There's only so many things I can do and I'm doing them all and now I'm sitting here crying and that's making me mad because I won't be able to rest tonight with all of this on my mind.
And I know, I know y'all are going to tell me to look long term, to look five years out and see where I'll be but I can't even look to next year and have any idea what's going to happen.
startsmart - 12/09/09 11:22 AM sapphire- you're right, it's certainly a stormy season.
Gin- thanks for commenting. It's not so simple right now since the newspaper can't pay freelancers what they used to so there's no income now, I don't start tutor training until February and then the jobs won't come until spring SATs, and there are no hours at the video store. And I can't afford to spend 4-6 hours on my feet once or twice a week or all the income will be swallowed up by more doctor visits and sick days.
I'm cut as far back as I can go but with expenses going up 30% what else to do? I won't even do some of the free work on my house because I won't have the money to finish the job - i.e. scraping the ceilings is free but new texturing and ceiling paint is not. Most of my "free" time is spent working on new job prospects. There's just no other options and I hate being pushed into a corner when I've done the right things to be where I am today.
mrslynch - 12/09/09 11:34 AM startsmart[/b]--i have been trying to figure out a way to say this diplomatically but i just can't so i'm going to say what i have to say (and i'm pretty sure that some of you are going to jump all over me). you have got to relax. i understand that you are in a difficult position right now; going from 60% of your income for expenses to 90% of your income is a HUGE jump. there's no denying that. but your f/t job is not your sole source of income. you have somewhere in the neighborhood of 1-3 p/t jobs. that should help give you some breathing room. you are not a fraud because you can't fully contribute to your retirement. just do the best that you can. that's all anyone can ever do. there are people in far worse financial situations than you and they are managing. sure it's hard, but you make adjustments and you manage.
you preach this all the time--prioritze what's important and budget accordingly. medical expenses are a necessity. europe is not, but if you want to go badly enough, then make it happen. you have the drive and determination to make anything you want happen. trust me, you will survive and you will get through this. you are only 25 years old. you should not be this stressed out all the time. you are missing out on so much fun and enjoyment with the constant stress you put on yourself to be perfect in every aspect of your life. stop trying to be perfect. stop trying to be everyone's role model. just do the best that you can. you are an extremely intelligent and talented woman who has a lot to offer the world but you won't get there if you keep stressing over every little detail that comes up.
MuttleynFelix - 12/09/09 12:09 PM [/b]i have been trying to figure out a way to say this diplomatically but i just can't so i'm going to say what i have to say (and i'm pretty sure that some of you are going to jump all over me). you have got to relax. i understand that you are in a difficult position right now; going from 60% of your income for expenses to 90% of your income is a HUGE jump. there's no denying that. but your f/t job is not your sole source of income. you have somewhere in the neighborhood of 1-3 p/t jobs. that should help give you some breathing room. you are not a fraud because you can't fully contribute to your retirement. just do the best that you can. that's all anyone can ever do. there are people in far worse financial situations than you and they are managing. sure it's hard, but you make adjustments and you manage. you preach this all the time--prioritze what's important and budget accordingly. medical expenses are a necessity. europe is not, but if you want to go badly enough, then make it happen. you have the drive and determination to make anything you want happen. trust me, you will survive and you will get through this. you are only 25 years old. you should not be this stressed out all the time. you are missing out on so much fun and enjoyment with the constant stress you put on yourself to be perfect in every aspect of your life. stop trying to be perfect. stop trying to be everyone's role model. just do the best that you can. you are an extremely intelligent and talented woman who has a lot to offer the world but you won't get there if you keep stressing over every little detail that comes up.[/quote]
Startsmart - You should print this out and tape it to your wall.
dea_81 - 12/09/09 12:57 PM Startsmart[/b] - I agree with others, while 30% is a huge jump, first remember to breathe, relax and if you can't do anything else but put one foot in front of the other, keep doing that until you come up with another solution. You may need to re-define your goals and priorities, but you are bright and know what needs to be done. I totally get the "can't see the future" feeling. I just remind myself when I get to the other side of the situation it won't seem nearly as bad. Sometimes it takes much reminding myself in between the crying and panic, but you will find a way around this obstacle.
startsmart - 12/09/09 01:52 PM I read and reflected on
mrslynch's posting, then read again. I appreciate the feedback from y'all.
but with all respect this isn't about perfection. Perfection would be 20% in retirement, 10% to savings, etc. I can't put anything at all in those accounts. It's all I can do not to take money OUT.
This is me saying I have no flippin' idea how I'm going to pay all the bills and afford to eat. the pantry stock will only last so long. I can only go so long without buying household items.
Am I over stressing because I don't know when PT pay will pick up again and there's only a risk my FT job will cut hours 20%? I don't think so.
I mean, a year ago I would be upset that I couldn't put new baseboards in the hallway. Now I'm trying to find a way to pay the bills without draining my savings. The bootcamp I'm in focuses heavily on big wins, making sure the big things are done right: the right mortgage, the best CC rewards and rates, paying off debts. And I'm there, I'm 70% there and working my arse off to get the last 30%.
I need to earn more, there's no two ways around it. I'm not asking for anyone here to buy anything or support me financially. I WILL find a way. It's just getting there that has me upset and worried. And yes it's a struggle to put aside that worry and keep working towards the goal of earning more but I'm only human.
ForeverHeloise - 12/09/09 02:13 PM Startsmart:[/b] I reread your post. I understand the situation better. I first read it as stress and worry about not doing enough. Now I realize it is about not making the basic payments. I find that if I put the word out to the universe that I need more money, then somehow opportunities present themselves. Over the years, I have cleaned offices on the weekends, done catering, waitressed, stripped wall paper, worked weekend hospital shifts, etc. all kinds of things to make extra money. So - put the word out that you are looking for extra work. Are you eligible for unemployment for any lost hours? Also, let your family know that you would appreciate the basics for Christmas - like grocery cards, toiletries, oil changes, or gas cards. Every little bit helps.
MuttleynFelix - 12/09/09 02:13 PM Startsmart [/b]- I've had a lot of months recently where our expenditures exceed my income. DH hasn't gotten paid for a job he did in July and on has one other project on going at the time. It is scary. Savings are at best holding steady and often go down and I have $2k deductible that we will meet when we have this baby (oh yeah and no paid time off, therefore no income coming in for whatever maternity leave I take). But I can sit here and worry about it or I can plan the best I can and then realize it isn't doing me any good at all to worry about it. You are being proactive looking for a new job and you are doing the best you can. Sitting around wondering what if all the time isn't healthy. There has to be balance in life between planning for the future and letting the chips fall where they may. There are things in life you CANNOT CONTROL (
Firebird that is for you too). Worry about what if those things happen does you no good. Hang in there.
GLDNLUVLY - 12/09/09 02:35 PM startsmart[/b]-Where is your emergency fund? Not the $1000 safety net, but the just in case I'm out of work for 3-6 months fund. If you have one of these, give yourself permission to use the funds in this instance. In 90 days, assess your situation and start paying yourself back. You're 25 not 45 w/two kids and about $20 to get through the month. You're doing a great job at managing your finances. Cut yourself some slack. Giving yourself a hand isn't about robbing your savings account. It's about getting through until things loosen up. Sometimes you have to do things b/c you have to not b/c you want to. This might be one of those times. Rather see you take a few dollars than wind up in the hospital w/a stress related illness that could cost thousands.
startsmart - 12/09/09 03:23 PM God, this day just gets worse every dmn second. i give up.
red_wagon - 12/09/09 04:20 PMstartsmart[/b] - Hugs to you. Just keep breathing. It'll look better tomorrow (or maybe the next day). Can you try working something out with the insurance? And I second that you need to relax a bit more. You don't need to be Wonder Woman every day! You're already way ahead of pretty much everyone else your age (including me). Just breathe. Keep hunting for the higher-paying job - it's out there. and there's a little thing called ramen... jk. Except it is delicious...
phitigirl - 12/09/09 04:45 PM smartstart [/b]- I have to second red_wagon. We really don't want to hear that you are in the hospital or suffering from any other stress related ailment. Take care, relax, and remember that your situation is what an EF is designed for. You'll find something that allows you to take care of yourself in the near future, but until then stop stressing yourself out! You're more competent than anyone your age I have ever known and I know there are great things out there for you.
ForeverHeloise - 12/09/09 06:01 PM
Startsmart: Are you okay? It seems to be raining on you today. Hopefully, it will stop soon and you can see exactly what needs to happen. Try to remember that this is only one period in your life - not your whole life. You have the skills to regroup and begin again. You have a good history of being successful and you will be again.
reeneejune - 12/10/09 12:48 AMStartsmart[/b] – Will this increase in medical expenses last indefinetly, or just for a limited period of time? Most pre-existing condition clauses in health insurance policies only exclude care for that condition for the first year (or so). I say that not because I think you haven’t looked into it, but just for everyone’s reference. Does your state take out of pocket medical expenses into account when figuring food stamp benefits? Oregon does and I’m sure other states do too. People who don’t qualify otherwise get benefits when their out of pocket medical expenses eat up a percentage of their income. Have you contacted the medical service provider’s billing department about options and financial assistance? Have you looked into other sources for the same care… i.e. getting physical therapy done by a student at a local college (as an example)? How about bartering?
I’ve gotten basic “I just need to know if this is serious enough to make an appointment/get an Rx” kind of advice from a Nurse Practitioner I babysat for in the past. I’m just throwing a lot of ideas out there for you. Not all of it may make sense, depending on what kind of situation you’re dealing with. Sometimes we get so stuck in the “how am I going to pay this bill with money” thought that we forget to think creatively about the solution. Hugs to you… we can eat peanut butter together. I’ve got another year of bare bones budget just to get to a starting place that’s in your league of financial fitness.
startsmart - 12/10/09 01:32 AM reenee[/b]- this increase in medical costs will be monthly. the manager who hired me wasn't honest about what costs I'd be covering and now she's fired so I can't even yell at her for it. I make too much to qualify for food stamp benefits, California goes by 130% of the federal poverty level on gross income without looking to expenses as the first qualifier. This jump is really just the base medical coverage, not covering chiropractor visits, co-pays or medication. It means if I get hit by a tree I won't end up paying tens of thousands out of pocket. Hopefully. I appreciate the ideas, I'm still looking at independent insurance but the quotes are much higher. This one is a savings of about $500 a month from COBRA too. I did make 11 pb&j sandwiches tonight. The $0 grocery budget will likely stretch through January as well.
At this point I'm not comparing myself to people in my bootcamp, trying to be perfect or expecting the world. I need to find a way to earn more since I can't spend less. This kind of stress isn't the same as those with family custody issues or sick loved ones but it is... big for me. I know I make stupid mistakes and I don't mind learning from them but being backed into a corner, into a scary situation isn't very fun. I'm tired and going to bed.
beej67 - 12/10/09 01:19 PM SmartStart [/b]- Can you use part of the money from the settlement from the accident to cover the additional medical costs for now? I can't remember the split of how you decided to allocate that money and I'm too lazy to go back and look. But I'd consider part of those funds now earmarked for medical expenses until you can find a better way to make up the difference or have better coverage (new job) since you've already cut costs to bare minimum. I know this isn't what you want to hear and I know you had other plans for that $ (plans you put a lot of thought and consideration into) but life has a way of throwing us curveballs that aren't fair. BTDT
startsmart - 12/10/09 02:50 PM beej-[/b] well that's really my only option, to take the money from my EF or the Europe trip. I did have to pay out about $4,000 to settle the whole debacle with medical bills and I bought my camera. Other than that the money is earmarked in ING Savings. But if I don't increase income/cut expenses long term then it's not a sustainable solution.
I did send out one freelance project proposal and I'm working on... seven more.
GLDNLUVLY - 12/10/09 03:39 PM startsmart[/b]-Did you read what I wrote to you a few pages back. Situations like this are what an EF is for. This isn't permanent. You're starting your Virtual Assistant business. I think soon you won't need a brick and mortar job b/c you'll be very busy with your own business. This is temporary. You're at an age where you hopefully have years to replace your funds possibly 10 or even 100 fold. If it makes you feel better, take the money out and write yourself a promissory note. Do the same thing you would do if this were a friend to whom you would lend money. You're a responsible young woman. Stop obsessing (sp) over this and stressing yourself. I know it's scary. You're one of the best planners I know. Get to it sister!!! Take the money you need. Give yourself 90 days, then start paying yourself back! You can do it!!!!
B/c of the overdrafts, I'll be down about 1/3 of my paycheck tomorrow. It's my own fault, but I have to move forward and work with what I have. I don't have an EF or family to fall back on. I just have the wonderful support of this caring and loving network. DH has been adding money to our EF and while it's currently on life-support I refuse to touch the money right now. We have to get on the right side again. That's no Christmas presents outside of cookies for my family. And my Secret Santa will not be shortchanged. Got something really cool for her. DH and I are not exchanging gifts. And that includes the voice lessons that I was going to get. Maybe Valentine's Day. DH and I are going to tackle our sich one day at a time, one bill at a time.
3catslady - 12/10/09 10:10 PM ok Startsmart,[/b] what's really going on? If one of us were to tell you just what you have told us about your problems, what would you tell us. Instead of your name on the post outlining your problem, put mine. Now what would you tell me to do? Role play? I'm the one with the problem asking you for advice. What would you tell me?
startsmart - 12/10/09 11:22 PM
3cats - I would probably tell you to kick em in the junk because that's how mad i am right now. it's already been kick
startsmart week so i'm about one bad piece of news away from going haywire and destroying something. something big.
what would you say to this performance review: "you're great, you're efficient and we are cutting your hours. no, we won't even consider letting you try a single additional task."
azmom- i'm too tired. too annoyed. too frustrated. too everything. mrslynch said in an email that i inspire people here and really i shouldn't. because nothing matters. trying and pushing and getting kicked back down is all i've got. i don't have hope, not in other people and very little in myself because when i pour EVERYTHING in and get this back i lose hope.
reeneejune - 12/11/09 12:56 AM Startsmart[/b] - Have you ever had a day when you looked around and asked yourself, "why didn't I get drunk, have unprotected s.ex with some mangy looking moron, have a crack baby, quit my job, and live off government support"? Have you ever wondered at what point you're supposed to give up trying to be "normal/respectable" and embrace the white t.rash lifestyle? Does it ever feel like the second you get one thing in your life under control, the one thing you were sure of falls apart? Welcome to my life. I know you probably need to wallow a bit in self pity right now, and that's ok. You know what happens every time I ask myself one of those questions after bursting into tears while driving to yet another job? One particular, special song comes on the radio. Somehow the universe just knows when I need to hear it. It's nothing really special, just an old country song I'm suprised they still play. But it means something to me because it's like listening to my Grandpa's thoughts about me. It reminds me that he saw something in me that no one else took the time to point out: he thought I was beautiful. For a kid who never heard anything positive from either of her parents, that silly little thing was the most important thing in the world. The week after he passed away, I swear the radio station played that song 5 times a day. Now it pops up in odd moments when I need it the most. And at the end of the song, I smile through my tears and whisper "Grandpa didn't raise no whimps." If she were here to talk to you, what would your Grandma tell you?
You've been through bad work situations before. What did you do when things weren't working out at your last full time job? You made it your job to find a new job. Does it su.ck? Absolutely. Think of finding a job like finding a good man (and yes, I know that you're not dating at the moment)... you've gotta kiss (or work for) a lot of frogs before you find your prince (or perfect job).
startsmart - 12/11/09 12:59 AM gldn-[/b] i do have money in the EF and i know it's why it's there. the settlement money was used to pay current medical bills, then settle with my insurance company which had previously indicated they would not seek payment, and the rest went into various savings buckets. I didn't allocate to future medical costs because all accident related costs have been paid out of pocket, built into my budget or are reducing/eliminated. the 30% jump in is basic medical coverage and i can't be pulling hundreds of dollars out of savings month after month
yes, i have a half dozen plans in the works to earn more but where am i right now? I have four jobs, two that slash my hours, one without the work (slow season) and one that can't afford to pay freelancers much anymore.
and unemployment over 10% in my state.
in my experience it doesn't matter the skills i bring, the work i put in. i still get burned. and that's so incredibly frustrating that i can't express it.
here's what i wrote yesterday
they cut the hours. they like me, they like and appreciate my work and i'm still sc.rewed.
the only thing i can do is make changes which is why i'm dropping off presents this weekend instead of making another trip to see my family on christmas. which is why my house is at 52 degrees and falling and i'm wearing 3 pair of socks and slippers. it's why i do laundry at midnight for off peak electricity rates and don't turn on the tree lights. it's why i'm listing books on amazon for sale and eating nothing but a pb&j today and using shampoo that's mostly water.
all of my energies, all of my focus is going to cutting back and earning more. because i have been backed into a corner and can only fight my way out.
beej67 - 12/11/09 05:43 AMSS [/b]- I'll add one suggestion to your focus if you'll consider it, try again to find a roommate. I know things fell through with your bff at one point possibly moving in, but see if you can find someone else that you'd be comfortable with sharing your space. Instead of picking up yet another PT job, maybe that would ease the money constraints and give you more wiggle room/time to find a new FT job. One of my friends had her hours at her FT job cut now 3 times so that she's down to 1 day a week there. Thankfully, they've kept her health insurance for now, but she's pretty much working that one day per week in exchange for the insurance (and is glad to have even that at this point). She's picked up a couple houses to clean, bookwork one day a week for a small company and bartending three/four nights a week. Her mom recently gave up her apt. and moved in with her. Her mom is paying her rent to live in her house (which my friend feels bad about since it's her mom) but in the end it helps both of them. Gives friend enough to get by on and she's charging her mom way less than what her apt. rent was. She's actively looking for a new FT job because she knows her past FT employer isn't going to be able to hold on indefinitely but for now she's getting by. She went through this same period of ef it that you are now but what does that do for you? I'm certain you'll do the same as she did, wallow a bit (I would too) and then brush yourself off and find a way to manage things for right now, even if you're just treading water it's better than some are doing, and keep the faith that eventually you'll land in a better place.
As far as insurance rates go, understand the rate increase is the way of things now. Our company has had double digit percentage increases over the prior three years. They were ecstatic that the increase only came in at about 3 this year. Thankfully, thus far they've been gracious about eating probably 1/2 the previous increases and the employees picked up the other half in their portion of the premium. We've switched carriers 4 times in the past 5 years, our deductibles have gone up, our prescription coverage has gone up .... etc. With medical coverage, small companies are getting hit hard.
I'm not trying to be hard on you here -I recognize how frustrating it is that you are doing the right things and it seems like it is for naught. But remember YOU ARE STRONG and you will get through this. Eventually all the knowledge you've gained about your finances, the sacrifices you've made and the experience you've gained will pay off. A lot of what's happening in your life is circumstance, the economy just plain sucks. But it won't be this way forever, you will come out in a better place probably way sooner than most your age because you're more cognizant than most your age and you won't bury yourself under miles of debt before you realize what's what. Hang in there and hugs to you.
cdarrow26 - 12/11/09 07:53 AM renee I almost spit my coffee out when I read this...My co-workers and I joke (half joke) about this all the time, but we are social workers so it's even more pertinent! I have had the same experience with songs...I think your story about your grandpa is awesome!
startsmart I don't think I can add more than what others have told you. You will get through this. We have all been through periods in our lives of feeling like this. It's called "life." You are young and you are miles above others as far as your knowledge of finances and planning and this WILL pay off for you in the long term. I have had several times in my life when after paying bills I had less than $100 for 2 weeks and that didn't include putting gas in my car or getting groceries. I have worked 2-3 jobs my entire life (I just turned 40) not because I wanted to, but my choices as a young adult put me in a position where I HAD to. I know the economy is bad. You say "unemployment is 10%"...but that means that 90% of people ARE working.
It's ok to be angry. It's ok to feel sorry for yourself. But, ultimately, you need to take a step back and figure out a plan. It may not be what you want, what you like or what you think it should be like, but it WILL all work out in the end. If you seriously can't eat, go to a food pantry. Look into the qualifications for food stamps in your state. You may be surprised how high the income limit is. Look into government medical assistance. They have plans, not just Medicaid, for low income people and families. A year ago I thought I had cut my budget as much as I possibly could but when I joined these board in January, particularly the Grocery Challenge, I was able to cut my spending on groceries, toiletries and pets to almost NOTHING. My bare bones budget before that for these items was about $125 a month. I don't know if you use the CVS or Walgreen's programs with coupons but if you are interested in learning, come over to the GC thread. I have not paid for shampoo, toothpaste, deoderant, or body wash, in almost a year and often get "overage" and can throw in food, soda, etc that I do not pay for.
Nsinglet - 12/11/09 09:19 AMWe are having Family Game Night tonight and we have an open invitation for them to come over whenever they want. If they can't make it tonight, then there's next Friday.
With that in mind,
Startsmart, I'd like you to spend most of the day focusing on 'normal' things. Try this every hour. If you start stressing, change it. Don't be superwoman.
1. Make a list of 5 things you are grateful for.
2. List 5 persons that you love and the reasons why.
3. Play with the doggies.
4. Listen to the CD's that
Coffeegirl gave you with the music from all of us. Remember the tremendous amount of support that we all gave you back then.
red_wagon - 12/11/09 09:31 AM startsmart - hugs. And good juju. Everyone has said everything. I'll add "This too, shall pass." There will be a day when you look back at this time in life and go "Wow, how did I manage to get from there to here?" and you will laugh and then clink wine glasses with me because we will of course be touring French vineyards for an entire summer. Obviously.
MuttleynFelix - 12/11/09 09:45 AM Startsmart[/b] - If I didn't live across the country from you and was too pregnant to fly, I would come kick your rear right out of the poor me pity party you are having for yourself right now. Yes you need to wallow around (I like what
reeneejune said), but you pick yourself up and get back on it. Come on girl. You are more than your jobs. You are more than your income. You are 25. The rest of your life is not going to be like this. We all go through ups and downs. It is what we make of the downs that define us. We can let them keep us down or we can say ok this sucks but where do i go from here. It is ok to be scared. It really is, but to say it isn't worth it? It is worth it.
What did your Grandparents do during the depression? Did your Grandpas fight in WWII? Those men and woman never once said this sucks and it isn't worth it. I agree with
Beej that you may want to look for a roommate. Unemployment is about 10% everywhere, and that doesn't even include people like my DH and BIL who aren't looking for jobs or people like you who are underemployed and yes it is higher for the 25 and under crowd, but you have experience now. You can do this. Now, do I have to go kick your butt in person? I keep reading your posts and think about how it was just a couple months ago that you got on Jill for buying paper plates for a party.
Come on
Startsmart, where did that girl go? She is still in there. Someone who thinks spending $1 for paperplates is extravagant when you have no money is not someone who gives up.
3catslady - 12/11/09 10:47 AM Quote #1; Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams. repeat every hour until ?
Quote #2; My circumstances should not define my situation. Make the best of a bad situation. repeat every half hour until?
Quote #3; Every day of adversity is simply a stepping stone towards your fulfillment. repeat every 15 minutes until?
Quote #4; God doesn't make junk, parts of me are perfect-the rest is a works-in-progress. repeat every 5 minutes?
Quote #5; This, too, shall pass. repeat as often as you need to in order to believe it.
As for a response to your review, "I was looking for a job when I got here, and I am still looking. It will be your loss, not mine."
You ladies and my faith have gotten me through this year. You will get through this. I have been thinking about this all night. I know it is hard to see the bright side right now, but with shorter working hours, you will have more time to look for a better job. Polish up your resume and get going. Just know that we a love you and are wishing the best for you.
(All quotes are taken from jlph's book of great quotes.)
mrslynch - 12/11/09 11:19 AM nsinglet, 3cats--fantastic suggestions for startsmart!
startsmart-[/b]-you know how i feel. i'm not going to bother to repeat it here. but you have received a lot of advice from women who have been through similar situations. i really, truly hope you take it all to heart. this is my favorite line from all of these wise women "You are more than your jobs. You are more than your income." nothing is as close to the truth as that.
red_wagon - 12/11/09 11:26 AM[/b]
Fun!!
"Life is short. Get happy now." - Stacey London, said on What Not to Wear.
"I know nothing with any certainty but the sight of stars makes me dream" - Vincent Van Gogh
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
~ Mark Twain
All of these make me want to quit my job and write books and screenplays full time. And open my movie theater. Not sure what I'm waiting for. Oh right, money to live on.
I even made sure the Mark Twain one appeared on the page with my picture in my high school yearbook hehe.
3catslady - 12/11/09 11:37 AM A few clouds make a good sunset.
mrslynch - 12/11/09 11:46 AM"when all else fails, laugh hysterically and keep moving"
"set your goals high and don't stop till you get there"--bo jackson
"if stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"--will rogers
"the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults" (not really applicable, but i love it).
the middle two hang on our fridge, the last one is in littlelynch's room and the first one is just awesome. the authors escape me right now.
and here are two from one of my idols, dolly parton (yes, dolly parton. i love her):
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
Red2Black2011 - 12/11/09 11:47 AM[/b]
Startsmart: What I have to say to you would get me banned by the Moderators. You've have a week of this pity party. You have 'til Monday to get over it. I'm sorry your hours are cut. But you have a job. I'm sorry about your insurance, but you have insurance. I'm sorry your budget numbers aren't working but at least you have numbers to work with. You are 25 years old single woman who's only responsible for yourself. Savings is good but Living is mandatory. Retirement is good but if you don't live today you wont be around for retirement. At the end of the day you have one real or imagined person that you have to live up to or beat and I bet you've already done that. Worse case scenario you have your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Some people here, me included, do not have anyone but me. However, I am sure there are several people willing to trade places with you. Whats that saying walk a mile in my shoes. We've walked a mile in yours now try walking a mile in ours!!!
mrslynch - 12/11/09 12:02 PM sorry, one more quote. i gave this one to
startsmart the other day and i forgot how much i like it, even though it came from the lead singer of skid row while wearing one of those paper toilet seat covers around his neck--"i am not a role model for your life".
Nsinglet - 12/11/09 12:06 PM Hold a true friend with both hands - Nigerian proverb; This was on my letterhead for a long time.
Happiness: The inner peace that comes once we know who we are and what is most important in our lives
more to come...
mrslynch: I loved your first quote. We visited Liberia shortly after their civil war. It was a disaster zone. The friends we met there were always laughing. I asked them why are they always laughing. They said, "If we don't laugh we would cry."
beej67 - 12/11/09 12:14 PM "How long should you try? Until."
red_wagon - 12/11/09 12:22 PM beej [/b]- love it!
Two more faves that are on my email signature:
"We know what we are, but not what we may be." —William Shakespeare (aka never give up)
"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self." —Aldous Huxley (aka never give up)
beej67 - 12/11/09 12:24 PM You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.
- Mary Pickford
MuttleynFelix - 12/11/09 12:46 PM Sayings .... There is a poem called
Don't Quit that I have on a book mark, but really I think
Startsmart needs to pull out the CD that
Coffeegirl made and there should be a country song on there called If you are going through Hell. Whenever, I hear that song, I just feel so determined that nothing is going to get me down.
Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Says I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do
You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to you
That's when you learn the truth
If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah
But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragginig for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying
If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
teh mom - 12/11/09 01:16 PMFavorite sayings/quotes: I have many, but of course my mind is a blank at the moment (sinus headache). So I'll just say
PUSH: Pray
Until
Something
Happens
Irishpebbles - 12/11/09 03:18 PM Favorite quote: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
I do find it weird that a man who hated kids so much wrote children's stories.
kath74 - 12/11/09 03:28 PM quotes:
"The thing that you really believe in always happens..... and the belief in a thing makes it happen." Frank Lloyd Wright
And a more recent favourite:
"keep your chin up because you are doing wonderfully, and not just in comparison to fried twinkies." startsmart.
Keeker - 12/11/09 03:58 PM "shared joys expand, shared pain lessens" Lazrus Long
"Stupid should hurt" from a coworker.
"No one can "make" you feel anything, You control what you feel, you can choose how to react." concept from long ago that I am still working on....
dakota4600 - 12/11/09 04:24 PMGreat spirits always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds- Einstein
No one can make your feel inferior without your consent- Elanore Roosevelt.
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.- Paul Valery
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.- Lily Tomlin
Sheila in Cali - 12/11/09 07:55 PM My Quote: It will all be ok in the end, if it's not ok- it's not the end.
and: normal is just a setting on the washing machine.